Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Frustrations - a feeling

Frustrations can be good. They can spur us onto bigger and better things. Thus, I'm frustrated. Well, I feel frustrated. Therefore, I must be. Ha!

Do you know there is a personality type that actually makes decisions by feelings? They read their feelings as fact and then decide. I learned about this when taking the Myers-Briggs personality test several years ago while working at Harris Publishing.

"I feel, therefore I am." (wink)

I, however, am not one of the personality types that makes decision based on feeling. I want the facts. I analyze, I ponder. I want proof and evidence. However, I am discerning. I often read a situation or person and know what to do or how to respond.

Except when it comes to mio - myself. Decisions for self are difficult. If self discipline was easy, we'd all look like Mrs. Universe and be millionaires. We wouldn't overeat, oversleep, sluff off on the job, make excuses not to exercise, or clean the kitchen or write a book. ;)

Tony edited Hurricane Allie for me last night and I was so frustrated every time he asked me a question. Not his fault. Mine. I wanted to watch "Gilmore Girls." How rude is that? I just wanted to not work. Be lazy. Part of the drama of an authors life. It seems to never end. We can write all day long. Feel guilty if we don't.

I really was feeling guilty for not working more on my chick lit. I know the conference is coming up and I'll be gone for a week and that's going to knock me off kilter. Then I have two conference the beginning of October! BUT, I can do this, right? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Decision time. Turn off the cable? I really only care about like three shows, but I end up watching more than that just because. . . I get stuck. I wanted to keep up with Ohio State Football, Gilmore Girls and King of Queens. I like Joey, too. But I ask this question, "What does it benefit me?" What a waste.

Discipline. Self discipline. You know my biggest frustration? Here it is. Fractured days. My days come at me in pieces. Morning prayer, 7-9, followed by maybe errands, email and chores. Then by noon, I try to be writing. Then three nights a week I go to the gym at 5:00 for class. Three nights a week I have something to do; Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.

So, this frustrates me. I like my evening aerobics instructors, but maybe I should switch to the morning. Maybe I'll shoot my email.

Simplify is my moto for 2006. Oh, here were my goals a few years ago. Still trying to get it down: 1. Prayer and the Word. Hanging out with Jesus. 2. Write 3. All else subject to 1 and 2.

Random thought. I love my family. I love my Mom and Grandma. My brothers and sister. Lately, Beka has been really special to my heart. I love my husband. He's pretty awesome. Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Well, off to the doctor to check the healing of hole he made in my cheek last week and to get my hair done. Ah, the frustration begins.

I hide myself in you, Jesus. I hide myself in You...

4 comments:

Heather Diane Tipton said...

totally understand the frustrations.

You could always say Gilmore Girls is research... it has excellent dialogue. ;-)

FireMedic said...

You had me until you said "Gilmore Girls".

Tracey Bateman said...

Frustrations....I relate.

Christine Lynxwiler said...

I feel your pain, Rach. :) Great post!

Love, C