Recently, Nona Willis-Aronowitz posted an article "The Virginity Mystique" on The Nation web site.
Willis-Aronowitz challenges authors like Wendy Shalit (A Return to Modesty: Discovering the Lost Virtue) and other conservative authors, like Laura Sessions Stepp (Unhooked), Dawn Eden (The Thrill of the Chaste) and Lauren Winner (Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity) about their call for women to return to modesty.
While Willis-Aronowitz recognizes Paris Hilton NOT to be a good role model for young women, she can't seem to find the balance or the reason why.
She insists feminism must further the sexual revolution. She writes:
"How do feminists fit into the modesty debate? Well, awkwardly. (RH: Why is that?) Second-wave feminists, who made it possible for women to take control of their own sex lives, are at a loss for words when asked to comment on young women's early, sometimes ill-fated, forays into sex. Feminism has not finished its job; a version of nonmushy, nonmarital sex that makes women feel good about themselves is still hard to achieve."
Exactly, Willis-Aronowitz. Feminism continues to fail to understand that women are not men. We don't think or act like men. The sexual revolution was, in their minds, about acting like men sexually. Without commitment or purpose.
The reason they have no answers is because they cannot admit the solution: they were wrong.
What they wanted via the free love mantra birthed in '67 has cheated, short changed and lead their daughters and granddaughters down a perilous path.
Women have always controlled the reigns sexually. We've always had the power. Men want it. We have it.
Feminism came along and insisted we give up the reigns. Change our role. Move to the men's playing field where we gained nothing and lost everything.
Abortions increased. Rape increased. Sexually transmitted diseases went up exponentially. Abuse increased. Single moms now populate the nation. Thousands of kids, many of them minorities, are being raised without fathers.
The sexual revolution broke down the family. More women are in economic straits than ever before, and we can't blame the "glass ceiling."
Tell me again how we're liberated? Because we can walk around with our "privates" showing and not feel guilty?
Because we can dance around a pole, or pose nude without feeling condemned? This is empowerment?
No, Ms. Willis-Aronowitz. It's enslavement. And we were sold into bondage by our mothers and grandmothers.
Ironic, most slavery begins with a people group selling out their own.
Willis--Aronowitz goes on to ask, "Why should sex have an everlasting warranty of love attached to it? Sex is the ultimate risk, a risk that makes human relationships complicated, intoxicating and wonderful. It is a risk that women are finally allowed to take without being chastised for it. And if young women choose to keep their sexuality under wraps, fine. Girls deserve the space to figure out a sexual reality that makes them happy, rather than dwelling on the difference between "Madonna" and "whore"--and deciding which is worse."
Why should it not come with a warranty of love? Willis-Aronowitz is over simplifying the subject. She only chooses the extremes. Madonna (and not the recording artist) or whore.
No one, even the Shalit and Winner, are advocating Madonna or whore extremes.
But feminism never takes into consideration in their holy-to-them sexual revolution all the casualties in between sanctimonious and slutty! There are millions of them. Girls. Babies. Families.
Sex is complicated. It's not an experiment. It's spiritual. Emotional. And no matter how hard we try, it comes with attachments.
The sex act is what makes people "one." Just because we want it to be casual sometimes and binding other times doesn't change anything. It's almost a law of nature: sex binds people together.
There is nothing ethereal about a wedding ceremony that unites a couple. It's the honeymoon!
Why should girls have to train themselves to discard modesty so we can fulfill some pie-in-the-sky reckless idealism of bitter rebellious women?
Women who began feminism to eliminate the our need for men. Read their manifesto.
For the most part, pop culture doesn't even know the meaning behind the marching orders we so ready follow.
Shouldn't the feminist sexual revolution be about women calling each other higher? About challenging men to a higher standard. Why is lowering the bar, revolution?
Song of Solomon 2:15 says, "Catch the foxes for us, The little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, While our vineyards are in blossom."
The sexual revolution is a fox that has ruined the vineyard of many young women while their values and morals were in bloom. They watch television shows like Friends and believe it's the way cool, modern young people behave.
If the cast of Friends lived out their actions in real life, five of the six would have incurable
STDs. Probably all but Chandler. (wink) Unless he got it from Monica.
Casual sex is not healthy for men, either. Men, stop sleeping around. You can get all kinds of nasty critters. And, what's that old saying, "If you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they've slept with."
Tony once prayed for a guy who was struggling with homosexual feelings. Turns out the guy slept with a bi-sexual woman and didn't know it until later. Hmm. He spiritually connected with her and tapped into something she had.
Paul tells the hip, modern, progressive Corinthians, "Do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH."
Women are beautiful, unique creatures that have a destiny designed by God that impacts the universe. Each one of us impacts one that impacts another. All the way to the stars!
Why should we behave like the lowest common denominator. The least of who I am is who I am sexually. In fact, sex has nothing at all to do with who I am. I don't need it to define me. Thank God.
We are all twisted around the axle here. Is sex good and right. Absolutely. In the right context. Many of the best things in life are good only in the right context.
Lookit, we don't drive up to McDonalds, order a Big Mac meal and a hundred year old bottle of Merlot. Why not? The wine doesn't fit the context.
Girls, don't act like the drive up window at McDonalds. You're not special number 1, 2, or 3.
You are a bottle of the best fine wine, aged, cultured, treasured, only to be opened at the right time, by the right man and savored. Same for you men. No double standards here!
But ladies, we are the gate keepers.
Funny, we respect wine more than ourselves sometimes.
Jesus has a plan, purpose and destiny for you. Don't get side tracked by the idea of sexual liberty that only exists in the minds of elitists.
True sexual liberty only comes in the commitment of marriage. And I can defend my claim any day. ;)
So, the Virginity Mystique Willis-Aronowitz writes about? Really, it's the sexual revolution mystique.
There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid.
Proverbs 30:18-19.
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6 comments:
GREAT post Rachel, I wish this could be published somewhere, like PEOPLE? Probably not!! But some place where girls and women out in the world would see it. You are a TRUE "feminist" not the Willis-Aronowitzs'
Love Mom
Rachel, this is the most wonderful thing I've read in a long time! There's power in truth. Thank you for taking the time to post.
Excellent post, Rachel. You really should consider sending that in to Focus on the Family for their teen magazines (Brio and whatever the guy's equivalent is)...it's a message that needs to be heard!
Amen! Right on! I agree with Becky ... others need to read this especially teens. :)
Thanks Rach ~ I'll be showing this post to my girls but maybe in about 5 years time _ LOL!!!
AMEN!! Thank you for saying what I wish I'd had the ability to say. I may get my 13 year old grand-daughter to sit here and read this and then I also want her to read some of your books. You are a positive influence to whom I wouldn't mind introducing her.
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