Saturday, June 11, 2005

Grieving is a process

The grieving process at this level is new for me. Dealing with the memory of my dad dying. Seeing him in the casket. Remembering I went to a funeral for my father.

Death stinks. I don't wish it on anyone. But how can we pass from this life into the eternal without dying? How can we see with our own eyes and heart the transendent beauty of the divine without slipping through the veil of this life's time and space?

In this life, Dad was ruined for anyone but Jesus. He pursued the God-man with his whole being. Yet, now he knows. He's seeing with an unveiled face. He's viewing the radiant glory of God the Father, understanding fully the magnificent splendor of Jesus and His love.

This life, I know, pales in comparison.

But here I am. This side of the veil. Looking through a glass dimly, trapped in the pale view. I know Dad is better off. Extremely better off. But we miss him.

Death has taken on a whole new meaning for me. And in that light, so has life.

That being said... I'm learning from Dad even now! He'd ordered a CD series from Mike Bickle called The Focused Life. I'm challenged to make sure my time is guarded and I'm spending it on things that matter!

We took today to relax. I got up and went to the Ladies Breakfast. But I'm still very tired. Last night we went to Fire Dweller prayer, which was good, but hard at times for me. Memories of Dad come floating through my heart and mind. A few of us went out afterwards, but I was so exhausted it almost hurt to talk.

Well, I press on toward the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

At the reception after Dad's service. L to R:

Joel, Danny, Uncle Phil (Dad's younger brother), Steve (Dad's nephew), Rebekah, Me, and Peter-John.

1 comment:

Lynette Sowell said...

I know, the missing someone on this side of the veil is the hardest part. Thank God we're not alone. Hugs~