Sunday, November 01, 2009

Umph, climbing back up on the blogging band wagon

I fell off again. Thunk! Did you hear it?

I was trying to be good, diligent, writing my next novel without distraction. I couldn't bring myself to give up words. And emotion.

Not that blogging is not worth my time, effort and good words, more like whenever I make a bit of head way on my story, I pop over to a blog or email and drain the emotional energy it takes to write.

I was in Kansas City last week. My great idea to write and prayer didn't turn out as I'd imagined.

In my mind's eye, I'd go to the prayer room in the morning, then write in the afternoons. But I was struggling with the story and decided to give the book my best and first-morning creativity.

Being in the prayer room required a different kind of emotion and energy. Between the worship and the prayers being offered corporately, I was pulled into the room to do what it was designed to do -- engage in intercession.

I felt guilty for not writing, then I felt guilty for not praying. So, I went to the coffee shop. Noisy. Naturally. All the held-in conversations from the prayer room were let loose in the coffee shop. I did get some writing done in there, but I also ran into folks I knew, (Hey Don and Alberto!) wanted to say a quick hello.

I holed up in Cassie's apartment one afternoon. Then locked down in Stuart and Esther's basement (a nice room down there) for a few nights. But, they are good friends and it'd been awhile since I'd seen them and conversation was impossible to avoid.

I was also story-STUCK. Very stuck. Not sure how to unscramble and put the plot back together. Susie May and I plotted Wednesday afternoon. Read more about it here.

Most of the time, I felt out of my element. I pushed, wrote, hated half of every word, and decided my experiment didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. No one's fault. Just a lesson learned.

I did love spending time with my friend Julia, my girl Cassie and dear ones, Stuart and Esther. Also caught up with the Foix's and Nayomi and her daughter. Got to say hello to one of my favorite worship leaders, Justin Rizzo, and sat in some amazing intercession sets.

On Friday just before retiring to Stu and Es's place for the night, and preparing to leave Saturday morning, Es and I went into the bookstore. Wanted to get a t-shirt for Tony. As I was heading to the check out, I saw a man I recognized but did not know.

A few months ago I had a dream about intercession at Church on the Rock. This man walked up the prayer mike, began praying with a clear, distinct sound. I began to sing the same kind of sound.

I didn't know who he was nor could I describe him in any way to those who might. But there he was in the bookstore! I asked his name then shared the dream. While I'm not sure all the Lord is doing with the dream, I was so blessed to meet the man who helped deliver such a clear sound of the Lord.

Saturday I flew home without incident. Spent time on the plane meditating on my story. Susie May suggested my life is too good of a place to relate to my heroine. She's right. I need to dig deep and understand where she's coming from and what's going on in her life, in her heart.

So, we are into fall. The nights grow darker earlier. It's cozy and peaceful. While I'm not sure of what my time in KC produced, or how God will use it, I'm confident He works all things together for good.

1 comment:

Sharon Hayes said...

Good morning Rachel, so glad you were able to see & fellowship w/friends in KC - I can sure understand how you were torn between writing & praying. However, I feel the Lord will bring good out of this.

And seeing the man in the bookstore - WOW!!. Curious on how he reacted to your dream & who he is.

Love Mom