Last night was our final, final youth church. The end of an era. Thinking about it made me tear up a few times, and in some deep place, I wondered what will happen with me and Tony.
Last night worshipping with only teens in a darkened, stage-lit sanctuary. Last night to bond with a new set of teens coming up. Last night to join them all for Checkers afterwards.
I'll miss them. The music. His Presence.
But, it's Matt and Jodi's now. Their's to run with. Their's to hear God about and impart a deeper, broader vision. I'm excited for them.
Last night also made me sum up all the changes this year, and while I've emotionally rolled with most of them, some sorta make me sad.
The Olinksi and Ganda moves. Losing Jack. My mom selling her house in Tallahassee. She's moving to Tennessee. I'm really happy for her, and my grandmother, but sometimes it feels like there's no "home place."
Being without children, it's hard to feel like my home is the home place, and while 3 of my 4 other siblings have lived with me in adult life, none of them are here now. And we live the farthest away. (No, please, this is not a pity party. I hate those.)
Dad being gone. I miss him. I feel like, "Okay, you've been dead long enough, time to live again so we can talk to you."
Anyway, just some random thoughts. But I was comforted by this verse in Job this morning. (yeah, truly, a verse in Job comforted me.)
Job 22:25-26; "Then the Almighty will be your gold and choice silver to you. For then you will delight in the Almighty and lift up your face to Him."
No matter what, He is my exceeding great reward. My shelter. My comfort. My lover. My home. My heart. The lifter of my head. He will never leave or forsake me.
I don't have to worry.
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2 comments:
We all have those brief moments--but no, He won't allow them to last.
When (it feels as though) your mother and father have forsaken you, He will take you up.
Good post.
Dee
awww great post. I feel ya.
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