Thursday, February 15, 2007

Overcoming Fear & Anxiety - Part 1

As a kid, fear wasn't an issue with me. We moved around as my dad attended school and while I was shy on the first day of a new school or meeting new friends, I was never afraid.

Fear was only an issue after watching the Wizard of Oz. I'd be in my room under the covers imagining the witch showing up in my room.


I'm sorry, but let's be honest. The Wizard of Oz is stupid movie to show a kid.

So, fear-in-general, not part of my genetic make. But "it" came calling.

The first time I felt anxious fear I was twelve. I woke up in the night feeling weird, odd, condemn, afraid of losing control or doing something horribly sinful.

Overwhelmed with negative thoughts and feelings, I did the only thing I knew to do, throw the covers over my head and pray.

Interesting to note this "attack" came in the dark, dark of night, not the light of day.

My parents were a tad older than the folks being caught up in the Jesus Movement, but they were impacted by the move of God in the mid '60s and early '70s. My dad had learned about "overcoming by the blood of the Lamb" and so he taught us to pray the blood of Jesus as protection.

I prayed such a prayer, hiding under the covers that weird night. But this battle was not about hiding from something in the room, like the wicked witch of the west, this battle came from within. I didn't understand it. But at twelve, I understood to fight it.

Thirty some years away from that first moment of fear/anxiety, I guess some of it might have been hormonal, but the prescription for overcoming was the same as any problem.

Jesus.

In today's modern Christian mind-set we go about with a PC view of our enemy, the devil. "Oh, I'm saved, he won't bother me."

Hello? If not you, then who? The heathens he already has in his grasp. No, dear ones, he doesn't fight fair, and as lovers of Jesus, we have a BIG OLE TARGET on our backs.

He will harass us, discourage us, fight us, oppress us.

He's a clever enemy. He doesn't come at us full on in warfare gear. We'd recognize him. He comes at us in whispers. Subtly, through words, feelings, emotions. Lies we believe, even words we speak over ourselves. Through words spoken over us. And yes, the sins of our fathers and mothers.

But be can and will overcome. But we must fight.

So, my next encounter with fear happened about seven years later ...

1 comment:

Mom of 5 said...

Great post Rachel, looking forwrd to Part II. However, you always wanted to see the Wizard of Oz but after 2-3 years of you being afraid we wouldn't let you see it any more. I can remember going to the theatre when I was a little girl and being afraid of Snow White and the Lion that roared at the beginning of a MGM pictures. :o)

Love you Mom