It's been busy at the Hauck House. Fun. First Carrie, then Cassie and Sarah, dessert with friends two nights running, good news, sad news, life.
Pause. Before you read farther. I'm in a contemplative mood.
But I won't write what I feel because feelings are not truth. Not always. Having an intuitive nature, I've had to learn to tell the difference between what the Spirit is telling me and what my soul is sensing.
Yeah, the Spirit always wins. Better to listen to Him than me.
I'm pretty okay, more than okay about not having had children. Peace and grace abound. But as I checked family Facebook pages and saw the kid pictures and back to school shout outs, I "felt" it a little bit.
No children. A very permanent state. Nothing to change it.
So, I went to my comfort. He said, "But you can hang out with Me all day. And write."
I wish my human heart could grasp the reality of the living Lord inviting me to hang out with Him all day. To be a place where He can rest. Share His heart as He chooses.
But it's not about busyness, is it? Children or not, we are to be His resting place. Jesus didn't scold Martha for being busy, for not sitting at His feet, He scolded her for being worried, fretting, accusing her sister. Complaining.
It's not externals He's after. It's the internal. The place of belief and rest. Faith.
It has to be enough to sit on the back row with Him and watch the world, resting, being, not letting my heart growing weary or hard.
I love this: Acts 13:52 "... and the disciples were continually filled with joy and the Holy Spirit."
Am I? Are you? JOY! It's the word of the year. The decade. The Lord's joy is my strength.
What's next? I don't know? I have no expectations except He is good. He is faithful.
Hey, what's the line between living a life of a bond-servant, seeking the Lord for direction yet moving forward, doing what we think is right? Taking a leap of faith? Some are praying, waiting and never moving. They feel let down.
Others move forward and succeed.
What's the balance? How do gifting and calling weigh in?
Don't want to waste time, gifting or calling. Don't want to sit idly. Don't want to work in my own strength.
"Here I am, Lord."
The House is Quiet.