Thursday, April 02, 2009

The last of Fire Dweller

Tonight is our last Fire Dweller prayer and worship meeting. Six and a half years ago, four youth pastors gathered after an amazing summer conference and said, "We have to do what He's calling us to do."


The meetings began in our living room, stuffed with teens and young adults, the tangible and sensory presence of God filling our living room.

I remember being in tears within minutes of prayer starting, or inhaling the spicy fragrance of my King.

We moved to a down town church about a year later and met on Friday nights for over four years, hauling in sound equipment, setting up and tearing down. A lot of that falling on Hubby.

In the last year, we've been praying at a partner church and while we've matured to the point where one worship leader, alone, with three or four prayers, can hold a solid two hour meeting, prayers continuous with worship, God has not breathed on our venture as we first believed.

As the leaders, hubby, me and three others began to feel God shifting focus, and another leader in the area stepped forward with what he feels God is calling him to do.

Prayer is our aim, not ministry. We love Fire Dweller, but we are not tied to "it." We are only tied to the obedience of prayer in our city/county.

A dozen or more years ago, a handful of leaders sat around a rusty table at Teen Missions during our annual prayer retreat, talking about the Lord, what He's doing in this hour of history, and we said, "We're all in, we're going for Him, together."

We said it again a half dozen years ago. But as I looked around the table, my eyes watered. Only three remained from the first group of pledges. Some God moved on. Others only committed in the passion of the moment and were easily swayed off the path.

"I've been here before," I said, teary, "people pledging to follow Him to the end and only three remained. I'm on this mountain until the end. And many of you will say the same, here and now, but where will you be in a year, in two?"

Our good intentions to follow Him to the end often come up shallow despite our good intentions. It's the mundane, the day in and day out that prove our metal in Jesus.

Of those around the table the second time, there must have been a dozen plus, only four remain. Others not around the table have joined, but many who said, "Yes, we're on this mountain," couldn't endure.

The mountain isn't Fire Dweller. The mountain is prayer, gazing on the beauty of the Lord, beholding Him in His sanctuary.

So, we remain, waiting to see what God will doing next. I know in my heart of hearts that the six plus years of Fire Dweller were not in vain. I saw a picture in my mind's eye of all the fields we'd plowed. We labored to prepare for the planting. God will cause the rain and sun for growing.

Ministry, callings, paths we walk are often seasonal. If we never put away the plow, how will we plant? If we're always planting, how will we harvest?

Walking with God, partnering for His kingdom on earth as it is in heaven is labor, a joy, a partnership, but we must hold all things loosely. Our identity is not in ministry but in Him. Genesis 15:1.

Fire Dweller served the purpose of God. All those who came and prayed, who lead worship, who lit the candle and fanned the flame, even if for a moment, share in the reward. EVERYONE!

Well done.

I love this Odysseus quote from Troy. "If they ever tell my story, let them say that I walked with giants. Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die. Let them say I lived in the time of Hector, tamer of horses. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles."

As for me, if they ever tell my story, let them say I walked with giants. Let them say Iived in the time of Don Luszczewski, Javier LaBoy, Matt Collins, Ted Travers and Tony Hauck. Let them say we cried out for Jesus to visit our region and our nation. Let the say we broke up the fallow ground with plows and horses, and we believed for the planting and the rain. Let them say the harvest for the Lord was great."


Danica/Dream said...

Rachel, this is beautiful. I think it takes a lot of wisdom and maturity to be able to say, "this is not where God wants me right now," and to walk away. So many times we keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping it'll eventually bear fruit, and sticking to that purpose rather than following where God leads. Can't wait to see where God takes you next.

Anonymous said...

Rachel, to Him be the glory!!! It's been awesome plowing with you. I know you are all doing the right thing .... felt it coming! It's all good. I'm very excited because I know God has great plans and looking forward to what He continues to do in our region. Contending ........... Diane

Elizabeth White said...

It is bittersweet. Sometimes I feel so torn that where God has taken me is so far from where I started. I want to be around that table again.

Yet He's put me here and placed me around another table.

I guess I still have a lot to learn about seasons.

Rachel Hauck said...

Thanks, Danica!

Di and Elizabeth, you share in the reward! You were faithful in the season God called you. E, you exactly where you're supposed to be. Remember, we were sitting at a similar table when I looked at you and said, "Yes, you're moving." :)

In many ways, you are still on that mountain! Just in a different region.

Love, R

Anonymous said...

Hey I love you guys, strange concept to have FD ending.... I really valued it as a part of my week, I grew so much through the years of praying with my leaders and friends. You guys are awesome! :-) -Carissa M

Sissi said...

Rache, I love reading your blog. It keeps me grounded in my pursuits of writing and also reminds me what I miss most about my church family back home. I read this one and tears sprung to my eyes. Ha! At work no less!


Sharon Hayes said...

Rachel, what a beautiful post. It's hard leaving one season, especially when we don't know what the next season holds. I know this evening has to be sad but exiting for what God has in store next.

I love you