Memorial Day - Thank YOU!

It's Memorial Day Weekend. My Grandpa Hayes served in WW I. My Uncle Porky and my father-in-law, John Hauck, served in WW II as well as my Grandpa Fausnaugh. My Uncle Dave served in Korea. Having a family member serve makes it more personal, yet no matter what, I honor and thank all those who laid down their lives for the cause of freedom.

Right now, I have two cousins serving in Iraq, and while some questions this war, I still say, "thank you" to those who are serving.

Thank you to my Grandpa's, my Uncles and father-in-law, thank you for serving. Thank you for fighting for freedom with courage. Thanks to all the U.S. Veterans, men and women, who served over the centuries for the cause of freedom.

I just hope my generation and the one that follows can appreciate the blood spilled for our freedom. I love the scene in "Remember the Titans" where Denzel Washington's character takes the football team to Gettysburg and reminds them it's hatred and misunderstanding caused brother to fight against brother.

"Thank you, Lord, for our freedoms. Let us never forget!"

It's Sunday, the house is quiet. I was watching Exreme Makeover Home Edition and crying. There's something about this show, and Oprah's show, when they give and do things for people. Makes me cry!

Tony went to kids camp. He'll be gone until Friday. My goal is to write the novella this week - as much as possible.

Eric came by for a copy of Lambert's Pride. He's going to read it. Should be interesting to see what he says. I reminded him that it is a sweet romance. My friend Ted read it and cried, but he's not the typical guy. I mean he's a guy's guy, make no doubt, but he expresses emotion without hesitation.

Here we go a kick boxing among the sweaty people

Tuesday I kicked boxed. Thursday I kicked box. Friday, I just got home for 75 minutes of stepping and sculpting. It was hilarious.

I worked hard, but what a clutz. I don't know the routine or the steps, so I'm all over the place and forget about me moving my arms and legs at the same time. but I'll get it. I entertained some of the youth on Wednesday night with the plie jump-up move with my hands together over my head like I dream of Jeanne. They were laughing.

Too bad I didn't have the scissor-step-to-a-round-house-kick move to show them. I learned that on Thursday. They would have died laughing seeing me try to do one.

But, I'm trying to get myself in shape. Aerobics is a change for me and I think will boost my metabolism. And now, to cut calories, too.

Well, that's all for now.

Killer Friday

Okay, I don't normally say "killer." How '80s, but I went to the Strong Class at the gym this morning. Killer!

Oh man, my arms and leg muscles were screaming, "Stop! Stop! You evil mean woman! Go back to the easy weight machines." Working with little eight pound free weights brought me to my knees. I had to finish the routine with five pound weight and that was with brute, mental force.

The good news? I'm taking the class again next week!

SALE ALERT! SALE ALERT! Tuesday I got an email from Becky Germany at Barbour. She bought the "Get Me To The Church On Time" anthology with Pamela Griffin, Lena Dooley, me and Lynette Sowell! My first anthology and I'm SO excited. This book will have four stories about four weddings that almost don't happen because of nasty mother nature. Think Forces of Nature. Mine will deal with hurricanes, go figure. Pamela's story battles a tornado. Lena deals with a blizzard and Lynette's characters beat out a wild fire.

Get Me To The Church On Time on sale Summer '06.

This sale excited me for two reasons. One, I got the idea after hurricane's Frances and Jeanne last year. I'm glad something good came out of those storms (besides all the babies about to be born.) Two, and MOST important, it was a first book sale for Lynette. She's been writing and submitting for a long time, and this is sweet victory. I'm proud of her and grateful for the sale!!

Other things I'm writing. My acknowledgements for Georgia On Here Mind. Thought I'd get a head start. Emailing with the copy editor on Lambert's Peace. I really like her. She's doing a good job.

A Word On Not Having Kids: My mom emailed that one of her co-workers asked how Tony and I feel about not having kids. Mom was going to direct her to my last post. But when I reread it, I don't think my true feelings were communicated.

The fact is, we are very much at peace about not being natural parents. It is 100% a God thing. He's spoken to our hearts many times about not being biological parents. In fact, not too long ago, at the Prayer Retreat, the Lord said to me, "I know you don't always understand, but trust Me. This is a good thing." And I felt His pleasure in that I trust Him about this.

You know, God calls us to different things. Some, He calls to celibacy, and we are cool with that in the Body of Christ. But believe it or not, God calls some to be childless. Tony and I are two of those people. Are children a blessing from the Lord? Absolutely! I love all the little ones in my life. Can't image not knowing them. But for some reason, Tony and I just have spiritual kids - you know who you are. Mother's Day I got two calls! Blessed my socks off.

Two days ago, one of my "sons" called and said, "Hey, I want to read your books. I thought, 'I love her, I need to read her books. See what she's writing.'" Talk about kissing my heart! Shew! And you know, the love that we get from other people's kids, is really, really special. They don't have to love us as secondary Mom and Dad. They are free to move on once they leave youth church. But they choose to love us.

That's how incredible God is. I love all my "kids!" Sometimes, we love kids more than they love us, but I think any parent can identify with that feeling.

Life is good. God is good. Peace out

Here's where Tony and I differ

Waking up this morning, I asked Tony, "Don't you think about the future?"

"Like how?" he asked.

"Well, we don't have kids, so we don't have that to look forward to - graduations, marriages, grandkids, Christmas with little ones. I mean, it's just you and me."

"Nope, I don't think about it." LOL. Guess I'm alone on this one.

I think about the future. Mostly, what do we have to look forward to, and maybe that's wrong, but I do. I can't help it. Like, what are out tomorrows going to be like? We have a wonderful life, I'm not complaining, but I just wonder what 50 will be like, and 60. I have a stirring in my soul and I want to answer it.

Mostly, I want more of God. I want to see the Divine interact with my day-to-day life. I want to see love exhibited in and among His people - like Acts 2, 3 and 4. I want to see the dead raised and blind eyes opened. I'm tired of mediocre Christianity. I mean, THE SAME SPIRIT THAT RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD LIVES IN US!

Shoot, fire, ya'll. We got what the world is looking for - peace, hope, purpose. Let's do it!

Saturday - Favorite Day

I love Saturdays. I just do. This morning I ate two heels for breakfast - yum. Then went to the gym, followed by the grocery store Publix.

I love Publix. Tony wasn't with me today, normally he is, so I hung around the books for awhile. I bought Dorthea Benton Frank's book, Shem Creek. She's going to be in Vero Beach for a signing on Wednesday. But I have youth church. I have about 3 books started... but I'll finish them all. I find I'm reading more and more "southern" authors.

OH, Wednesday night after youth we are trekking over to Cinama World to see the midnight showing of Star Wars. Don, the youth pastor at Zion, bought 75 tickets. So, a bunch of us will be there. I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but any event at midnight with 75 of my closest friends (ha!) is exciting.

I woke up really committed to losing 20 lbs. How is it that at 10:00 a.m., I'm determined and strong, but by 10:30, the first rumbles from my midsection, I'm thinking hot cakes and bacon. Grr. I did so-so today. Small slice of coconut cream pie, and I HATE coconut! Small, very small bit of ice cream and a few peanut M&Ms. A turkey sandwich and fat free chip. One orange, cup of grapes. Other than the junk, I did OK. LOL. Tomorrow is another day, right?

I've made a goal for myself - New York Times Best Seller. Ok, ok, so I'm not that good yet. But, a girl can dream.

Last night we had a joint prayer meeting at Freedom Christian Center. A lot of places around the state were praying for a release of life since we feel the Terri Schivo thing released death to the nation. The prayer meeting was the Worship and the Word format (my favorite.) Worship mixed with praying from the scriptures. It went really well. One of the pastors prayed, "As Florida goes, so goes the nation." The place erupted. Ever since 2000 elections, the eye of the nation seems to be on Florida.

Then someone read and prayed about Eziekel and the dry bones. I started singing, "they see dry bones, we see an army" and man, I literally felt the anointing being poured out. Something about declaring to the world, we are an army. The whole congregation was singing it. Then, later we sang about the Father being the father to the fatherless - the defenseless and poor - and there was a heave anointing on that.

Prayer does change things. We have to remember that. It feels so fruitless at times, but it's the unseen force that changes nations. Psalm 2:1 - "Why are the nations in an uproar (why do they rage) And the peoples devising a vain thing?" They rage against Jesus, but prayer stirs the atmosphere, stirs the heart of God so that He moves on behalf of His people. People will rage.

But I love Revelation 8 - "Then another angel, having a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, ascended before God from the angel's hand. Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and threw it to the earth. And there were noises, thunderings, lightnings, and an earthquake."

Is it possible our weak feeble prayers cause thunderings, lightnings and eathquakes? Yes! God add His own fire, His own incense.

Well, speaking of. I think I'll go worship and pray for awhile. Peace out.

The Price Of A Cow

I'm at the gym. On the treadmill. Watching the CBS's "The Early Show." Ok, reading The Early Show 'cause I don't have a headset, so I have to read close caption and not fall off the treadmill. (Sidebar - there was the sweetest, cutest little bird perched on the window frame, sleeping against the window with his head tucked under his wing. So sweet.)

Back to the show. Hannah Storm is interviewing Kate White, Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan. They are discussing dating, and how women can break the chain of dating bad boys and getting their heart broken. The advice is high-level but sound: review past mistakes, ask friends for advice about the guys you date, monitor thoughts and behavior, review if you're censoring information to your friends, update your man criteria, stuff like that.

Then Hannah says, "What our mothers told us is true... something about why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free."

I said, "Yes!" All right, finally. Tell 'em, Kate. Keep yer britches on, girls.

Kate (smiling): "Once you get physically intimate and emotionally invested, judgement goes out the window. So the longer you postpone beyond 3-4 date rule, the longer you keep your objectivity."

What? Postpone the three or four date rule? To what the fifth or sixth date rule? What kind of ambiguous rule is that? Postone until you're confident the guy remembers your phone number and where you live? Ladies, ladies, ladies. You got it, they want it. Never, ever forget it! You hold all the cards. Kate, you missed a perfect opportunity to say, "Postpone physical intimacy until the guy asks you to marry him and takes his vows!"

That's how you know what kind of man you have! If he marries you, most likely he doesn't have committment and intimacy issues. If he's not calling you, or flirting with other girls, or forgets you like fried clams and orders raw oysters maybe he's just not into you! So certainly, keep the goods zipped up and move on, find a guy who is into you.

Price of a Cow? One diamond, one wedding, and two "I do."

Writing and me

Writing has changed me. It's tapped into the inner part of my soul that used to be frustrated with layers of memories, ideas and dreams longing to become stories and characters painted with words.

When I hear an "oldie" on the radio, I immediately picture words. "It was the summer of '77..." Characters spring to life in my mind's eyes and they have names and voices. Sometimes, I jot the image down, other times, I store it away in the library of my heart and maybe one day, I'll pull it down, dust it off and write about it.

I love storing ideas. It's like a being in an internal bookstore. Ever walk into the library or the bookstore and go, ""Mmmm." It's a literary bakery. I love the smell, the site, the touch of books. Being around them makes me want to write, write, write. So, my internal books and ideas serve the same inspiration. I realize I'm going to have one actual written story for every 100 ideas, but I love the inspiration.

The summer of '85, my sorority big sister, Tish, and I went to see "Saint Elmo's Fire." The movie impacted me deeply because the characters were at the exact same stage in life as I - graduating college and facing the real world. Sitting there with Tish, I never wanted to lose that feeling of comraderie, of friendship, of common bond that we shared in our Ohio State, Phi Mu experience.

Emotion welled up from deep down for Suzanne, Machelle, Maureen, Connie, Angie, Lori, Sarah and all the other sisters that made my university experience about life and love as much as it was about academics and degrees.

Leaving the theater that night with Tish, I wanted desperately to put that emotion down on paper. I wanted to tell our story. I wanted to remember what I felt in that moment, wanted to hang on to what those years deposited in my heart. Yet I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that the memories and feelings would fade with time and distance.

"Let's Hear It For the Boy," by Denise Williams from the movie "Footloose" invariably invoked a strong emotional memory for years. Picture a beautiful spring day on campus, the windows of the Phi Mu house wide open and Darian blasting that song from her room so loud it filled 15th Avenue.

Until I started writing, those stored books, partial books, frustrated me. Now, they inspire me. Empower me even. And maybe one day, I"ll write about the girls of 93 E. 15th Avenue.

God's timing in my writing is perfect! I couldn't have started writing after college for a lot of reasons, the least of which I needed more of Him and less of me. Besides the power of memories, I want and need the power of the Holy Spirit. I take the gift that He's given me, give it back to Him, asking for His grace and anointing. Being a writer with the indwelling Spirit of God excites me more than anything. Not because it's about me and what I can do, but because it's about Him, His GREATNESS. He's full of love and mercy!!

Writing has changed me.

Gone to Tennessee

We drove to Clinton, Tennessee yesterday for our nephew Asa's dedication on Sunday. Plus, his Papa, my brother Pete's birthday is Monday. Lots of family coming in.... already pretty wild around here.

I'm so used to my quiet house. Tony and Pete had a great time laughing at video clips online last night. Guy thing. Everyone's off doing something at the moment and it's just Julie, Asa and me.

The drive up was nice, but my Check Engine light came on. Nice.

The Faith Chick chat was fun. Lots of authors talking more than anything, but wow, what a great list of authors. Be sure to visit the site when you can: www.faithchick.com

Writing wise, I'm have no deadlines, so I'm working on new ideas. I woke up this morning with a great idea, and now can't remember. LOL. I hate that. I have great opening lines, an instant picture of the Heroine, then bam! I lose it. Note to self: Write it down right away.

Oh, here's another Duh moment in the life of Rachel Hauck. SET A DAILY WORD COUNT. I've gotten away from doing that so I just try to write all day which is not really all the productive. And, if anything gets in the way, I get upset. But if I know it's the Thursday of Pastor's Prayer and Fire Dweller leadership meeting, plan my day accordingly. Get up and write my 3000 words before the meeting. Or half before and half after. So, I'm doing that next week.

Eph 1: 9-10 - He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth.

God has a plan. A plan full of kindess and love. We are not here by haphazard chance. Or even by some intelligent designer. No, by One who created us with kindess in mind. He also administrated His plan and design like any Administrator would. Ever worked with a true administrator? Everything is planned and outlined with a purpose.

God is kind. God is an administrator. In the same way He has a plan for the world. He has a plan for you and me. :)

What'z Up?

Chick Lit fans unite! Good Girls Book Club Online is hosting a chicks roundtable/chat tomorrow night, Thursday the 28th at 8:00 p.m. EST.

Quick Click
http://www.goodgirlbookclubonline.com/community/index.html

Chick lit authors will be chatting on line. Be sure to join us!

What else is up? Hum, don't know. Went out to dinner last night with a few writer friends who live in the area. RWA members. We ate at the Disney Resort in Wabasso. Very nice. Mediocre food. But good company. We've been getting together once a month for dinner and writing talk. A couple of us are published, one is about to be (hopefully) and the rest will be some day. ;)

We had house guests since last Thursday. A friend of Joseph White's and her Mom. Very nice ladies. They went back to Connecticut today.

I worked on my Georgia rewrites. I was all set to go, then decided one of my new scenes was SNORING, so after the play at church Saturday night, of which I was an involuntary cast member, I had a new idea for the scene and came home and rewrote until 1 a.m. But, as you may or may not know, every time I change something, I have to go back through the whole thing to make sure I catch an references to the changed scene. It may be one sentence on page 300, but I had to rework it. Or, if the new scene's dialog or motivation changes something small, gotta look for that. It's amazing the time it takes, but I wanted it to be good.

Finally, I printed it off when I was questioning every word and deleting things. You look at it so much, it starts to sound the same. I was afraid in tightening up the story and writing, I would lose my chick voice. Gotta keep the voice, ya know.

New Do - I got a new hair do today. Well, not new, but cut and colored. Looks fab-u-lous dah-ling.

Hey, I read a Danielle Steel book last week, The Gift. Set in the '50s, it's about a sixteen year old girl who gets pregnant by a guy she met at the Prom. And no, he was not her date. So, her dad sends her away and she happens upon, by happenstance, a family who was falling apart after their young daughter died the Christmas before. So yadda, yadda, the sixteen year old girl gives them her baby to adopt.

Very nice story, draw you in because the characters are so vivid. But DS definitely tells the story from the authors POV, not any one particular character. She head hops alot. But, with 300 bazillion books in print? Who cares?

Be cool. Jesus loves you. Me, too. (But He's better.)

The Lesson of Red

We have house guests. One of the youth's friend and her Mom. Thursday morning they were up early getting ready to go over to Orlando to visit friends and go to Universal.

As they go ready, I hear Red, our cat, meowing at them off and on for well over an hour. He's asking a favor they do not understand. Even if they did, they wouldn't know how to fulfill his request. He wants breakfast.

When they leave, Red jumps on the bed with Tony and me. I cuddle with him, stroking his head until he's in purr heaven. Five minutes later, I get up and feed him his treats and fill his food bowl.

An hour of complaining and begging the wrong people got him nothing. Five minutes with me got him a good cuddle and pet, and the food he so desperately wanted. All he had to do was come to the right source.

Are we not like that with the Lord? We cry and complaining to everyone but Him. We ask the wrong people to help us, to meet our needs. Many times they are as helpless as we are. Yet, all we have to do is curl up with the Father. He loves us and in shorter time than we realize, He stands, and provides our needs.

Are you asking all the wrong people to meet your needs. Are you looking to other to answer your questions? How's that working for you? Not so good? Hop up on the bed with the Father and get a good loving cuddle and the desire of your heart.

God is not at our beck and call, don't get me wrong. But just think how often we waste time and energy smoozing all the wrong people to get our needs met.

Psalm 62 says He is willing and He is able. If nothing else, He'll love on you so much you won't care about anything else. Even the growl in your belly.

Sunday Update

Another beautiful day. Cold. Windy. I actually have the windows open. Good church this morning. Worship was good, and the word. One of our elders taught and he exhorted us to love one another, not judge, reminding us we are all individuals before the Lord.

Song of Solomon 6:9 says, "But my dove, my perfect one, is unique. She is her mother's only daughter..." Truth is, the Dove had a little sister. She wasn't an only child, but she is so unique, it is as if she is an only child.

You and I are that unique before the Lord. You are the only one of you... EVER. The Lord's heart must have you. There's no one like you. No one like me. Amazing.

Today was a quiet day. Tony watched "Star Wars Whatever" (Return of This or the Attack of That) to get ready for the next Star Wars movie. I'm not a huge fan, but do love the opening day's midnight showing. I'm reading a bio on Teddy Roosevelt. Very fascinating. I napped on the couch in the Florida room. Very lovely day. Fixed small dinner and watched the Contender. I'm so hooked on that show. Not so much because I love boxing, but because I love the determination. Overcomers. Believe it or not, it inspires my writing.

After that, it was back to the adventures of Teddy for awhile, and now, blogging.

Tony's brother John and his wife Mary and two daughters were hear Friday afternoon until this morning. We had a nice time with them. They love worship Harp & Bowl style and really enjoyed Fire Dweller.

This week will be final edits on "Georgia On Her Mind" (it's Soooo Coool to have my title! Yeah, Steeple Hill) and working on new ideas.

One of the youth dudes has a friend coming to Florida and asked if she and her mom could stay here. So we have company for a week and my bud Esther Greaves called to say she'll be in town Wednesday for a few days. So, wow! But I have to work!!

We sold our Eliptical Trainer so I have a ton of space in the computer room now! Very glad about that. Now to gather up all the books and sort through them. I hate parting with books, but we are getting overrun.

Blessings!

Georgia On Her Mind

I have a title! I'm so excited. The Steeple Hill Cafe team is brilliant. "Georgia On Her Mind" is the title for my upcoming release. In stores near you August '06.

Now to make the story as brilliant. ;) I like Macy's story a lot, I do. Even for one who's read and edited it about five times now. Krista's suggestions and guidance are really strengthening the tale of a Florida girl finding her home in a place she never expected, home.

It's Wednesday and I've been editing all afternoon. By the time I go to prayer, 7 - 9, then to the gym for an hour, home to shower and do email, it's noon or one before I get started on Wednesdays. I love Thursdays 'cause I have ALL day. Unless I play racquetball, I have nothing outside the house. I can pray at home, walk in the neighborhood, and work. Wed and Fridays are the most crunched days cause I have prayer in the morning and then church or prayer at night. But it's ALL good. All good.

Well, just wanted to update. Back to Macy, Georgia and the look alike dress her mother bought for her to wear to a bar-b-cue.

Transendent Beauty of the Divine

Midnight. Sitting in the bath tub. Reading. Relaxing. Gotta go to bed, but just one more page. The book is Marian Keyes "The Other Side of The Story." One of her characters, Lily, has fallen in love with a beautiful house, but she knows they can't afford it.

She says, "It's like coming face-to-face with the transendent beauty of the divine... I'm ruined for anything else."

Transendent beauty? Ruined for anything else? I was blown away! This is Jesus is the Bridegroom verbage. Language of the prayer room. Words I might hear at a Friday night Fire Dweller prayer meeting.

I don't know Marian Keyes spiritual heritage, but somehow she's aware of the Divine and His transendent beauty, and that once you've seen Him face to face, you're ruined for anything else. None of her characters seem to be aware of this Beauty. They pretty much live after the flesh, but I loved that line, that image and how God interjected a picture of Himself in her writing.

Let's see... what else. V. busy lately. Friday I was gone all day. Prayer and the gym. Home mid moring to shower and run out to a lunch meeting, (looong lunch meeting) then to visit a friend in the hospital. Home for another hour to take a quick nap, then out of FireDweller meeting. Home at 11:00.

David White came over for dinner last night. We had a good time. Sat around the table and talked until 11:00. It's so funny. We have a living room and a Florida room with nice, comfy furniture, but whenever someone comes over for dinner, we never leave the table. The chairs are very comfy, but still. When Julia, Larkin and Spring were here in October, we sat at the table eight hours a day. I guess the dinner table is really a good place to fellowship.

Dream - I think I had some more revelation on my dream. Bottom line? Keep walking toward Jesus. Don't look to the right or the left. Don't get distracted by the world. I have access to heaven. Why get lost in doing in the worlds way? Jesus is waiting.... He's waiting.

Well, I'm off to do something esle. Hi to my brother Joel. Silly man. I love you! ;)

So beautiful today

Wow! Today is so beautiful. Absolutely. I love it. I've had the top down on the car for three days. Opened the house, flicked on the ceiling fans, shut off the air. So nice. So nice. Fell asleep in Tony's chair pondering a dream I had a few nights ago. All kinds of symbols. I need revelation from the Lord on how to apply it to my life. My friend Sandy had some awesome insights, but still not sure how, when, why? It's a test and a warning. Oh Lord, I need revelation.

I think it's about change. About prayer and fasting. If not those specifically those things, they will facilitate me getting there.

Went to Barns & Noble after prayer this morning, cruising through the books, reading while eating a bagel. Then I went over to the Writing Resources section. Saw "Idiots Guide to Writing" and say, "Hey! Maybe I should..." But then laughed at myself. No, I'm beyond the "idiots" guide. I think. I hope. I did buy a great book called "8 Ways to Bring Fiction To Life" by Noah Lukeman.

Where I want to go with writing is deeper. Getting a deeper story, deeper characters, improving. Dig deep. You know how when kids are playing Little League?

"Dig it out, Josh." or "Shake it off, Caleb." I just realized! All of life can be summed up in two Little League phrases. That's funny.

The Pope - Please pray for the Lord to guide the Cardinals who are choosing the next Pope. Whether you are Catholic or not, agree with the Pope or not, he holds a finger on the spiritual pulse of the Judea-Christian world. He sets standards, maintains life, peace and humanity ideals.

Don't faint but Tony and I are watching "American Idol." Simon just told some guy he was "hideous." A little much, but the kid didn't nail it.

Talked with my friend Tracey yesterday. She had me laughing. IM'd an idea with my other friend, Chris. She's a great brainstormer.

Friend Renee drove by the house yesterday when Tony and I were sitting in the driveway in our iron rockers. She hollered, "Old People." LOL. The noive! I went outside to get warm cause the house was still cold and the day was like today, beautiful. Tony came home from an errand and sat outside with me. It was nice. Old people. Ha!

EOB (End of blog)

I'm making chili

Yeah, it's one of the few things I make. Chili. We'll have a bowl and watch the Final Four. What a nice Saturday night.

Last night at our Fire Dweller prayer meeting, I shared my Awake Sleeper word as a focus for prayer. Don exhorted the room after me saying that Zion's afternoon prayer meeting centered on the same Awake theme. It's amazing the depth of this concept. A global awakening, including Israel.

Hosea 14 and Isaiah 35 are new verses in this call to awaken. The Isaiah passage takes about the coming Kingdom. Blind eyes and deaf ears opened. Lame walking, rivers in the wilderness (blessing for the land.) God's kingdom has to come with power. Othewise, the unsaved are not provoked.

I gymed today though my heart wasn't in it. I worked out anyway. Tony and I went to Publix in the convertible, convertiblized. I was still feeling down about some stuff, but he was Mr. Jovial. Had me laughing even though I didn't want to - LOL.

Well, better check on the chili and corn muffins. And the game. Half time is over.

Blessings.

When I was in 7th Grade

My P.E. teacher, Miss Somebody, wrote in my autograph book (hey, it was in '73) "You could be a real star if you apply yourself."

Ah! What? Meany. That pissed me off. But deep down, I knew what she meant. I sandbagged. Did the minimum required. I could have been a great basketball player if I tried harder. But I didn't. I don't know, I was afraid to give it more, I guess.

I approach writing the same sad way sometimes and I want to quit. But deep down in the resonant part of my soul, I have peace. "Try harder."

"But I've tried as hard as I could. I want to quit." (Think Barbara Streisand in "The Way We Were" when she runs out of class, tearing up her story.)

"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is weak."

Oh fine, Lord, quote Yourself to me. Quitting won't hurt anyone me. No one is going to chase me down the writing yellow brick road and beg me to stay. If I quit, who cares?

I have to change. I have to apply myself to be the star. Throughout life, I've always been good at stuff, but second string. At 44, can I finally be first chair, starting QB, head of the company? Can I be first in line? Can I be first string?

I don't want to be second string. I don't want to quit. But my heart hurts. And I'm scared. If I give my best and it's not good enough? Is my best just shy of the "good enough" bar?

Questions I ponder. But I won't quit. I can't. How will I ever know otherwise? But this I do, "I press on to the high calling of God in Christ Jesus, forgetting those things which lie behind. Press on, press on."

"When I was 44, I became a star." ;)

Awake O Sleeper

I awoke because someone shook the bed, as if standing at the foot and pressing hard on the mattress several times. It couldn't be Tony moving around, or Jack who sleeps at our feet. It was too strong, too distinct.

I got up to go to the bathroom, half expecting an angel on the way. Goose bumps ran over my scalp and down my back. If I didn't physically see an angel, my spirit did.

The words, "Awake sleeper" came to mind. I looked at the clock, it was 12:53.

Eph 5:14 -16 says, "This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."

Romans 13:11 says, "Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed.

God is calling us, shaking us awake in this hour. Make wise use of our time. The days are evil. Salvation is nearer than we believed.

Two days ago I had a dream where I was running (ugh! my least favorite thing to do) along a suburban street. It was hard, slow and I was forcing myself forward. I crossed over a street, and suddenly, running was easy, fun and fast. I soared. Somehow, I ended up in an alley way, the kind found between inner city apartments. There were several teenage boys and one said to me, "I want to know the meaning of life."

I said, "Oh easy, I can tell you the meaning of life." I was excited and I told another kid to go get Tony. Then I woke up.

A few days later, I'm shaken awake. I think running is a symbol of evangelism. For most of us, it's hard, isn't it? But if we endure, there will be a suddenly of God when we soar, and it becomes easy.

As for the time on the clock, I knew that 12:53 stood for a Bible verse. It would be odd to find a book with 12 chapters and 53 verse. I thought it might be Luke. Sure enough.

Luke 12:53 - 54, "They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law. He said to the crowd: “When you see a cloud rising in the west, immediately you say, ‘It's going to rain,’ and it does."

Notice how accurate weathermen are today? We have that same "technology" by the Holy Spirit to recognize the spiritual clouds and winds, rain and sunshine of our generation. We must recognize the signs of the times. Understanding the days in which we live, becoming spiritual weathermen. The harvest is ripening.

Isaiah 54 says, "Enlarge the place of your tent; Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your pegs. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, And your descendants will possess nations, And will resettle the desolate cities."

Tents speak of where we dwell - our homes, community and heart. We must braid ourselves together with the Lord, strengthen our inner man (Eph 3:16) so that Christ dwells in us, so that we are rooted and grounded in love. These "descendants," end time radical lovers of Jesus and each other, will possess the nations! They will bring the gospel of the Kingdom to desolate cities and peoples.

Awake, O sleeper. I know I'm asleep in many ways, so I cry out for the Lord to waken my heart, to awaken the lulled areas of my life. If I'm divided against those I love - family and friends - to stand with Him, then so be it.

Recognize the times. The days are evil. "Awaken me, Lord. Awaken us!! Cause us to be wise. Every looking, ever seeing."

I've had enough, I'm going fishing

I've had enough. I'm going fishing. Back to my old life, to the life I lived before I met Jesus. My heart aches to see him again, but I'm haunted by the look in his eyes when I said, "No, I don't know him." that last time.

If I could forget the past week, I'd pay every last shekel I have. But how can I undo what's been done? He told me I would deny him not once, not twice, but three times. And I did.

Fear and failure. That's me - Peter. I must be crazy. At first I was ready to die with him, but when the trial came, I denied him. Full of fear. Empty of courage.

My friend, my friend... I've dined with him, talked with him, laughed with him. He was there for me when my family was ill, and that time I was so angry with my wife. "Love her, Peter," he said. "Love her."

"Ahh, my friend, my Lord! I denied you." It wasn't supposed to be like this - death and denial, but victory and glory. You, my Lord, establishing Your Kingdom. Now what do we do? They killed you. Practically beat you... to... death.

Where was I? Where was I! Weeping over my own failure. I couldn't even pull myself together to be with you when they were nailing you to that tree! John said you gazed at him and spoke. He was with you. But I, Peter, was weeping over my own weakness.

Ahh! What kind of friend am I? What kind of man am I? I didn't take the 30 pieces of silver like Judas, but I betrayed you just the same. I'm no better.

Can a man live after such betrayal? Yes, I've had enough. It's over. I'm going fishing. There must be comfort some where in what was, in what I used to know. Before I knew him.

"Who's with me?" I asked. "Let's move on, our friend is gone. Our kingdom, ended." James and John, Nathanael and Thomas grabbed the nets. "We'll go with you."

We're lost without him. Men, fumbling, searching for meaning. In light of him, his life, his love, the wonders he performed, all else pales.

About midday, our nets were still empty. We labored in vain. Then a man called to us from the shore, "Friends.... cast your net on the other side."

John gripped my arm. "It's the Lord."

I pulled on my shirt and dove into the water. I must see him. I'm not standing in this boat, in the old life, when he's there on the shore, alive! My friend, my friend. Funny, he saw me already, at my worst when I denied him. But I had to put on my shirt.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

My hand shook and my skin felt hot and prickly. "Lord, you know I do."

Twice more he asked. Twice more I answered. Then something broke in me. Three times I denied him. Three times I declared my love for him. I do love him. He knows I love him. Love conquers all, isn't it true?

"Be a fisher of men," he said.

Whatever you need, Lord, whatever you need. I'm undone. Ruined.

I've had enough. I'm going fishing.

Terry Schiavo

Tony and I were talking during our anniversary lunch about the Terry Schiavo case. We really feel the Lord is drawing the nations attention to this case for a reason. Perhaps challenging us on our stand on life. We are becoming reckless.

I agree with the President. "Err on the side of life." I mean, who wouldn't want to give life a chance? Who wouldn't you want that consideration for you own life!? I would.

In the case of Terry Schiavo, there is no proof, other than her husband's word, that she would not want to be on "life support." I wonder if Terry imagined a feeding tube would be considered "life support." She's living and breathing on her own. She's just unable to feed and cloth herself.

Is that's the litmus test for whether a person dies or not? Quality of life? What about newborns? Two year olds? The mentally challenged or physically impared. What about death row inmates? What kind of quality of life do they have? Yet, they are defended every day. A jury of their peers find them guilty of a capital crime, they are sentenced according to the law, yet people cry, "Unfair. Inhumane! How dare we..."

Life to the guilty, death to the innocent. Barabbas verses Jesus.

I wonder how Terry would feel knowing her husband insist she starve to death even though her parents are desperate to care for her. If they are willing, why is he insisting she die? He's moved on. Has another family. He's been granted over a million dollars in settlement money already. He's free to go on with life. Is he doing this because he loves her? What kind of love is this?

It's his word against an innocent, non-communicative woman. How does anyone know what Terry would want but Terry? Where are the feminist? Where is the outcry about doing something with a woman's body that she may not want? The outcry of a man starving a woman? How dare he!

What kind of people are we when we allow a husband to kill his wife? For ANY reason.

Can a husband shoots his wife in cold blood and claim when he's arrested, "She wanted to die and asked me to shoot her."

So, is it legit? No. How is this case any different? You can't ask the murdered woman. You can't ask Terry Schiavo. We, the people, the government, should protect her.

Wasn't it Nazi Germany and Stalinist Russia that routinely killed people because they didn't deem their life worth living? We already have the blood of millions of babies on our heads, do we want the blood of the Terry Schiavo's of the world on our hands, too?

Come Lord Jesus, come.

Faith Chick Dot Com & me at the gym

Here's me at the gym: on the curl machine, third set of reps. 1....2.....3...4....5...6... Eyeing the leg press machine I'm supposed to work next. Ooooh, that old guy is getting on the leg press. Shoot. Takes him 15 minutes to work on machine... 7,8,9,10. Hop up, run over to the other leg press machine so I can work my legs and give my arms a break.

1....2....3...4....5....6..... Ooooh, the arm press machine I missed is available. 7,8,9,10. Jump up, run over to the machine before someone gets on and takes 15 minutes to do 3 sets of 10.

Midway through working out on that machine, the first leg press mahcine is becomes available. But I'm in the middle of a second set of reps... Wham! Clank! I drop the weights, hop up, flick my towel over the hand grips to dry them and run to the leg machine. It's rediculous, I tell you. I can't live like this. I don't work out, I calculate moves so I can get on the machines before one of my senior friends sits down for a leisurely work out. Going to the gym is a whole new experience. It's not pumping iron, it's racing to the machines.

Here's me at the gym: Getting a new attitude. ;)

Faith Chick: You gotta check it out! Steeple Hill authors have been gathered by our own Mary Griffith and we have a web site now: www.faithchick.com. It's a blogging site as well as announcing our releases! How cool! Check it out. The first blog is written by yours truly, so read, and comment!

Today is our anniversary, but I have editing and writing to do and shew weee, the house needs to be vacuumed. Which I'm going to do right now.

Love to all. Big HELLO to my cousin, Sandy!