It's been busy at the Hauck House. Fun. First Carrie, then Cassie and Sarah, dessert with friends two nights running, good news, sad news, life.
Pause. Before you read farther. I'm in a contemplative mood.
But I won't write what I feel because feelings are not truth. Not always. Having an intuitive nature, I've had to learn to tell the difference between what the Spirit is telling me and what my soul is sensing.
Yeah, the Spirit always wins. Better to listen to Him than me.
I'm pretty okay, more than okay about not having had children. Peace and grace abound. But as I checked family Facebook pages and saw the kid pictures and back to school shout outs, I "felt" it a little bit.
No children. A very permanent state. Nothing to change it.
So, I went to my comfort. He said, "But you can hang out with Me all day. And write."
I wish my human heart could grasp the reality of the living Lord inviting me to hang out with Him all day. To be a place where He can rest. Share His heart as He chooses.
But it's not about busyness, is it? Children or not, we are to be His resting place. Jesus didn't scold Martha for being busy, for not sitting at His feet, He scolded her for being worried, fretting, accusing her sister. Complaining.
It's not externals He's after. It's the internal. The place of belief and rest. Faith.
It has to be enough to sit on the back row with Him and watch the world, resting, being, not letting my heart growing weary or hard.
I love this: Acts 13:52 "... and the disciples were continually filled with joy and the Holy Spirit."
Am I? Are you? JOY! It's the word of the year. The decade. The Lord's joy is my strength.
What's next? I don't know? I have no expectations except He is good. He is faithful.
Hey, what's the line between living a life of a bond-servant, seeking the Lord for direction yet moving forward, doing what we think is right? Taking a leap of faith? Some are praying, waiting and never moving. They feel let down.
Others move forward and succeed.
What's the balance? How do gifting and calling weigh in?
Don't want to waste time, gifting or calling. Don't want to sit idly. Don't want to work in my own strength.
Faith.
"Here I am, Lord."
The House is Quiet.
you are such an example to me of basing my life on Truth, not feelings...it is a daily struggle for me! Thanks for the encouragement and reminder of JOY. love you!
ReplyDelete"He scolded her for being worried, fretting, accusing her sister. Complaining." This statement hits a little too close to home for me today. This post was just what I needed to leave the worry and complaints behind and seek "the place of belief and rest. faith." Thanks for the inspiring post.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I interact with you--through an email, a phone call, a blog post--you always turn my focus back to God.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Balance. Quiet. Joy.
Am I complaining so much, moving so fast, that I miss those things?
My friend Beth pointed me your way, Rachel, and I'm so very glad she did. This is lovely and EXACTLY what I need this day. Thank you..and God bless you.
ReplyDeleteRachel, I love how you live out loud. This post spoke to my heart, leaving me with things to think about. I love the idea of me being a place where the Lord can rest. Thanks for sharing this. Don't you love that God doesn't only love us, He likes us too? :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting all! We're all in this together, aren't we! You all inspire me!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Rachel
As usual Rachel, you speak to my heart - I' been talking to the Lord about wanting to walk in His joy because His joy is my strength & I need it very much.
ReplyDeleteOh, Rachel. I can imagine that silence. When we went through secondary infertility, the pain and questions were so deep. I so respect the way you go to the Source and the Truth. And those of with kids sometimes envy that silence and ability to commune with Jesus. Praying for His grace to be more abundant than your need and pain. Love you.
ReplyDeleteThanks dear Cara! Love your heart for him!
ReplyDeleteMom, He is your JOY!