Mid year check up, sorta

Okay, it's not exactly mid-year, but several things have been on my mind this week so I thought I'd post them now.

Last year, 2006, was a year of change. Our chuch changed it's name, Tony and I handed over the youth ministry, several of our friends moved far away, my mom sold her house and moved, my sister had a second little girl, our dog Jack died...

Those name just a few.

This year, as I look back on January through May, I sum it up with single words. Hard. Discouragement. Disappointment.

Several things happened early in the year that just felt like a spiral to me of disappointment - which lead to discouragement.

I felt a little lost. I repented of bad attitudes, of allowing myself to be discouraged. I was never depressed, just unsure of the future.

If we are not careful, a little discouragement or disappointment can knock us out of the game for a long time. Maybe even permanently. I do not want to be the walking wounded, or a needless casualty of war.

In the mean time, God is moving in our nation. Lou Engle called young people, as well as adults, to a 40 day fast to repent of the cultural down fall started by the Summer of Love 40 years ago in San Francisco.

On July 7, over a hundred thousand will gather in Nashville's Titan's stadium for twelve hours of prayer, concluding the fast, calling for God to bring revival to America, declaring we want to be married to Him again.

When I read The Call Nashville's mission statement and mandate from God, yes mandate, I wept. Every time I saw an update over email, my eyes watered.

I am so excited about what God is doing. Lou shared some incredible testimonies on a CD teaching, one involving Dr. Suess's "Horton Hears a Who."

Lou is also very active with his teams in praying against abortion. They are the ones God gave strategy to about the red duct tape over their mouths with the word LIFE. God also gave Lou an amazing metaphor of Horton Hears A Who and ending abortion in America.

He's the real deal, guys. Not some man coming up with a vision for himself, but encountering God through a sustained life of prayer and fasting.

Anyway, while we didn't feel called to go to Nashville, we decided to join the fast.

Day three and it's not going smoothly for me, but I have grace. And this morning I had a dream. God showed me my eyes were covered by dyed flat black hair, and my bangs covering my face.

Standing in our bathroom (literally, in the dream,) I said to my mother (Holy Spirit in this case,) "I can't see myself."

And that's how I've felt for several months. I don't have clear vision.

So, I told Tony and we prayed. I'm continuing to pray. "Clear vision, God, clear vision."

How's your year been? If it's been like mine, pray, do some fasting. Not easy, I know, but we have to start building some spiritual muscle church!

Mathew 11:12 says the kingdom of God suffers violence and the violent take it by force. That force is fasting and prayer.

Daniel moved the heavens with fasting and prayer. Moved the heavens! How much more a generation of wholehearted lovers of Jesus fasting and praying.

There you have my mid-year check up.