Vignettes - Mary at the Cross

She didn't recognize him. Bruised, bloody, beaten.

He stumbled under the weight of the thick splintered cross. Wind tunneled down the narrow street, billowing his blood soaked robe. Flesh hung and she could see the jagged edges of his skin and muscle. She could see through to the bone. Bile rose in her throat and tears streamed down her face without restraint. What had they done to him? Why?

The man she loved, whose feet she washed with her tears. They tried him as a common criminal. Battered and humiliated him beyond belief. For what? For loving them? For healing them?

The jeering and mocking of the crowd pounded in her head like the wild beating of drums and she wanted to scream. "Stop! Leave him alone!"

Isn't that how he defended her the night she washed his feet with her perfume? "Leave her alone," he commanded Judas and the others. "She's done this for my burial."

She knew then of his complete acceptance, his unending love. His eyes never left her face. No man ever looked at her the way he did. Pure. Without demand. Without lust. Now, oh now. She dared to look at him again. He'd fallen and his blood stained the cobblestones.

"Get up!" The soldier demanded, kicking his ribs.

Pain gripped his battered face. He tried to rise, but the cross tipped off his shoulder and he stumbled again.

Help him. Help him.

Then, there, his hand, reaching out to her. His eyes were swollen closed, but his hand, trembling, red and dripping, reaching. To her? His friend. My friend.

"You! Carry the cross." The soldier jerked a man from the crowd. He tripped and fell before him, but with such care, took up his cross. Blood fell on the man's clothes, his hands and feet.

She followed the procession to the hill. Sobbing, uncontrollable, helpless to stop them as they nailed his hands, his feet to the splintered tree. He flinched with each blow of the hammer, but not once, not once did he cry out.

Willing he went, she now knew. But why? He's innocent. So beautiful.

She stood at the foot of his cross, and with one last breath, he gazed down at her. There were others, crowding around, but she felt as if he saw her alone.

He struggled to see as the blood from the thorns seeping down. She dared, reaching up to touch his battered, pierced foot. He sighed when she touched him.

Any other time, any other man, she would not have recognized him. But there, in his eyes, she saw her true love. His lips parted. A smile. Did he smile? In the midst of such suffering, did he smile? At me?

Then she understood, with every part of her being, the purpose of this Man. More than the night she wiped his feet with her hair. More than when she looked at his face and he silenced her accusers. His purpose is complete and utter love, without condition.

Nothing could separate them now. Not even death.

Count Down to Deadline

Well, ten days until my first WestBow book is due. Tony's reading it now and well, it's 11:40 p.m. and he's well over his planned reading.

He said, "You got me hooked." And this from a sci fi reader. He's doing a great job of recognizing things the are inconsistant with Robin Rae McAfee's character. He's also recognizing when a scene doesn't end right or needs more punch. There's only been a few, but I'm glad he's cathcing those things. He's learning.

February is focus month. I have a to-do list.

Pray. Fast. Clean closets. Come up with next book idea. Visit friends. Work out. Of course, I'll have to time that with fasting, but I can do it. I'm looking forward to it.

I really like Lost In NashVegas. It's shaping up. I also did the line edits for Georgia On Her Mind last week and am really digging that book, still. Can you believe I started it two years ago!

Fire Dweller was awesome last night. We had 50 people. Javi lead worship and blew it up, of course. We had consistant prayers, too, and Javi and I go into some good antiphonal singing.

Just a continued seriousness in our hearts. I see Joshua 24:15 rising. "Choose this day whom you will serve."

The fence is going away. You will either be wholehearted for or so offended you'll be against.

Oh, one of my girls wrote an awesome blog! Check it out. http://cassiecampbell.blogspot.com.

Peace out.

End and Change

Coming home from youth church last night, I turned on the radio and it was tuned to an oldies station.

Isn't it amazing the power of music to transport our emotions to a different time, a different place?

The song, which I can't remember now, stirred my heart to remember my teenage years in Tallahassee. We had a lot of fun, working, going to school, rollerskating.

I think, "Dad was alive then." All my memories are sorta tainted now with his death. Mom is planning to sell the house this year and move to Versailles, Indiana with Grandma.

When she does, life in Tallahassee will end forever. There will be little reason to go there. Unfortunately, I've lost touch with many of my friends. It is the way of life, I suppose.

But, I'm excited for the future. I don't know if you all can feel it, but God is up to something huge.

A friend of mine had a dream about God opening up doors of evanglism (it was an incredible dream) but I don't have permission to share it here. But, I'll tell you, the dream indicates change in the earth of Biblical proportions. His wife was telling me the dream and though the details seemed simple, I said, "Oh wow, this is what we've been reading about in scripture for 2000 years." We both got chills.

Anyway, after that I cried and cried cause my friends will also be moving as part of what God is doing in their lives. She was my first "daughter" and I'll miss her.

But people, get ready, Jesus is coming. Forget what lies behind, press forward to what lies ahead. It's the upward call of God in Christ.

Special K Diet

Is Special K serious? Eat 2 bowls of their cereal twice a day for two weeks and lose six pounds? Twenty-eight bowls of Special K?

I don't know what kind of whacky diet they're trying to pass on the American public, but hey, I bought a box. Stay tuned...

Tony filled in at the Vineyard this morning for Jim Bartholomew. We always like going up there. A great church.

Came home, watched the Steelers beat the Colts, then met the Fire Dweller leaders for dinner at.... (drum roll) Carrabbas. I've eaten there five times in the last three months. I'm SO over it. But, I loved the company. We had a great time with Javi and Brenda, Don and Wendy. Missed you Matt and Dee.

Friday night I met with Lynn Evans for new photos. She did a great job. I don't have the pictures yet, but we previewed them on her 8 megapixel SLR, and there were some really nice ones. She's great at posing and capturing the essence of her subject.

Writing is going well. I want to make some subtle changes and add some layers, but the time is winding down and I'm very, very tight on getting it critiqued. I wish I could write differently so that I had time for critiquers, but I don't.

I figured out I write like I think. Oh, duh, Rachel. Here's what I mean. I may be in a conversation or meeting, and after the fact, I go away thinking and then come up with a great solution, reply or answer. I do the same with writing. I write a scene or dialog and then later while exercising or taking a bath or cleaning, I'll come up with elements to enhance the scene. So, it takes me awhile to get a manuscript ready for critique.

So, all is well. It's cold tonight but we got home too late to worry with building a fire.

I'm reading Tracey Bateman's "Color Of The Soul." Very awesome!

Power of Agreement

Amos 3:3 poses this question: how can any two walk together unless they have agreed?

Do you find yourself walking in agreement with lies, negativity, self-pity, fear, depression? So much of our emotional battle on a day to day basis is our flesh and being in a world where the prince of the air, the devil, lies about us day and night. His lies are every where and so easy to agree with.

Me, last night: No one likes me. My writing career is over. Surely I've offended too many people. Every one is ignoring me. I email people, they don't email me back.

Blah, blah. Oh, such a sad, sad song. It was so bad I went to Tony after the first worship set and said, "Dude, I feel like I'm going to freak out." I felt condemnation like chains.

He prayed for me and I felt better. Then when I came home, I said, that's it. "GET OFF!" Did some warfare and felt a whole lot better.

We forget our war is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of darkness in heavenly places. Read Ephesians 6.

Wage war. Do not agree with the lies of the enemy, even if you physically feel sick or panicked, fight the good fight.

I remember one time, years ago, I stood in the back of the sanctuary and oh, self pity was standing there with me, yaking in my ear. I nodded my head in agreement, my heart awakening to the sorrow of my plight. Which was, what, I don't know. Nothing. I have no real plight.

So, in walked one of our twenty-something young ladies, a single mom, really hard family life. She'd made some really bad decisions and was struggling. While I can't compare myself, I knew in that instant I would never want to trade places with this young woman (which Jesus did, btw) and I told self-pity to take a hike. "The Lord rebuke you."

I had to work at it for a few minutes, but I physically felt different when it finally left.

Who are you agreeing with, what voices real or imagined? If you are not agreeing with the Word of God, you're agreeing with you soul or the devil. Agree with God. He sent Jesus to pay an enormously huge, costly, expensive price for you. You're an heir. A princess, a prince, a ruler in your Father's house. And there's so much more where that came from. We're seeing the tip of the iceberg.

You know what? There's a tip to God's iceberg, and to the devil's. One lifts you up and gives life. That other, slowly kills you emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Choose this day whom you will serve.

Go out in joy! Be lead with Peace!

Congratulations to Margo for winning Mary's book, Made Of Honor!!!

Made of Honor Blog Tour 2

Hi all,

Realized my comment feature was, er, is having trouble. Add comments here or email me at rachel@rachelhauck.com to win Made of Honor by Marilynn Griffith.

Blessings!

Made of Honor Blog Tour

Marilynn Griffith is mom to a tribe of kids, wife to a very handsome deacon and blessed to be friends with some wonderful writers. She loves to read, write, speak and all things communication related.

She's the person at the family gatherings who is always either telling a story or listening to one! Before realizing she was a writer, life was a bit confusing. She tried everything from secretary to math tutor (that actually worked out pretty well). These days it's family, friends and church activities that keep Mary busy when she's not writing. And blogging.

Keep reading and find out more about Mary's book, Made of Honor. Sign my guest book for a drawing for a free book!

RH: Tell us about your current book?
MG: Dana Rose pledges to say "I won't" the next time she's asked to be in a wedding. Her weak will has turned her closet into cemetery for satin gowns from periwinkle to Pepto pink. After ten stints as bridesmaid, Dana thinks she's seen it all. Then she's fired, forced to turn her hobby into a business and faced with her prodigal brother, back-stabbing sis and Mr. Practically Perfect, the ex who not only married someone else, but opened the business of her dreams—across the street. There's that Maid of Honor thing too… And this time she can't say no. Will wedding #11 show Dana what's she's really made of?

RH: What inspired this story?
MG: I used to own a seasonal bath and body business. Steeple Hill rejected my first manuscript but they liked my voice. They asked my agent about me doing a chick lit. I didn't know what that was exactly, but the prospect of writing in first person sounded interesting, so I tried it and loved it. I also have had a lot of wonderful single friends over the years.

RH: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
MG: I'd love for readers of MADE OF HONOR to come away from the book knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God delights in them and loves them in an intimate way, despite whatever mess riddles their pasts. Christ stands waiting to embrace them as His bride.

RH: How do you balance writing with your "every day life?"
MG: I don't. LOL Really. I've long since given God that job. He called me to be a wife and mother and a writer. Sometimes (like a deadline week) that doesn't always look like I think it should, but God graced me with the family I was supposed to have. I try to keep the Word first place and keep the lines of communication open so that when things get off balance (too much work, not enough work) we can talk about it. When I try to stop writing to be Super Mom, my kids are like,"Go write something. You're cranky!"

RH: As a Christian Fiction Writer , what is the spiritual truth your book carries thematically?
MG: MADE OF HONOR is about seeing what you're really made of and knowing that God loves you anyway. This book is about a woman discovering that everyone, including herself, isn't quite what she thought and realizing that God still loves them all. Dana knows how to love, but she has to learn how to let her self be loved...both by God and the other people in her life.

RH: If someone said, "What blurb could I put on a t-shirt that would encapsulate the feel and tone and plot of your novel?"--how would you respond?
MG: MADE OF HONOR--Girlfriends, God and all the giggles in between!

RH: What is the one, all-encompassing, totally-vindicated secret of good writing that you made sure to employ in writing MADE OF HONOR?
MG: Secret? I don't know any. When you discover one let me know! LOL I just fell in love with the characters and tried to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Somewhere along the way, we got a book.

RH: Who are your three favorite writers, and will you be sending them copies of MADE OF HONOR?
MG: Well, many of those folks are dead and probably wouldn't have been interested, but there are many writers who I respect who endorsed the book like Sharon Ewell Foster, Lisa Samson and Kristin Billerbeck.

RH: How can readers learn more about your books and get in contact with you?

MG: I can be contacted at marilynngriffith@gmail.com or through comments at my website http://www.marilynngriffith.com/.

Add a comment to win a free Made of Honor. All the names will be put in a hat and drawn for the winner.

Eclectic Blog

First I had to look up eclectic. Assorted is a synonym, so it works. I thought so.

Second, fun day. It's absolutely beautiful here. Sixty-one degrees on a windy, blue sky, sunny day. I met with my old Harris co-workers (they are now MediaSpan Software) because Richard is retiring - again. He retired from Harris four or five years ago, missed us and came back.

I first met Richard in '87 or '88 at a Connecticut newpaper. He was the calm, cool, production manager, I was the beautiful and gracious classified system installer and trainer who had no clue what she was doing. Just kidding. I knew what I was doing. Right, Teresa? Anway, Richard was then and is now one of the kindest men I've ever known. God's speed, Richard.

During lunch I caught up on all the news with Chuck, Dave, Hyer, Jim, Steve, et al. I didn't get to talk to Juli or Darryl or Jo or Ralph, Steve, Roy, Nancy, Kathy and Ann, but it was wonderful to see them. Of all the things I could say about Harris Publishing, this will always be true, my co-workers were the best. I miss them still.

Went shopping after that for a leather jacket, but only went to Macy's and they didn't have anything. Came home. Took a nap.

I didn't get any editing done, but I worked so long yesterday I needed a think day. Will work tomorrow.

I've been listening to Mike Bickle's series on the forerunner and the fasted lifestyle. Fasting of our time, food and money. He talks about how disruptive it is to give ourselves to God in a radical way. We are living in a prophetic time, we are a prophetic generation, many believe the generation before the Lord's return, and there is a call to radical, extravagant devotion to Jesus.

If we say Yes, we are blessed in the deeper things of God during this life and the one to come. If we say No and lock ourselves behind our safe religious traditions, we risk our hearts growing cold to the deeper things of God. We don't separate ourselves from His love, but we close the door to a greater awakening and walking in deeper revelation. Don't know about you guys, but I want a deeper revelation. The same ole same ole doesn't work any more.

But the radical, fasted lifestyle messes with our worlds. It's disruptive. It means eating less, spending less, sleeping less so we can get up or stay up for prayer. Worse, our pursuit disrupts the lives of those around us - our friends and familes.

"What are you doing? Giving thirty percent. You're being religious." Or "You're fasting? But this is a party." Or, "We don't need to sit around praying, we need to get out there and do something."

That last one's my favorite. One, I've never been in a crowded prayer meeting, have you? Well, not unless I'm at a conference.

In Matthew 11:19, Jesus is preaching and reminding the people the religious leaders said John the Baptist had a demon, and they accused Jesus of being a glutton and drunkard. Bible believing, Bible preaching people are going to be offended at the radical lifestyle and they are going to call us crazy, demonized, drunkards and all sorts of things. Our reputations will be ruin, perhaps.

Jesus tells us we will be reviled because He was reviled. But, we will have what can't be taken a way - a knowledge of the Beautiful man. An experience in the pleasures of God, IN THIS LIFE. And I believe, walking in divine power and authority.

I've concluded: Prayer is a must. Not bless Aunt Betty prayers, thought Lord, please bless Aunt Betty, but intercession. We cannot go on without it. We must pray the Word, believe the Word. We must dialog with God using His own words. It deepens our own understanding, our own revelation.

Giving, praying, fasting unlocks our hearts! Even our smallest effort. The writer of Hebrews understood this and challenges us. "Oh my stars, you guys still want milk? You could be eating steak by now. (Rachel Hauck translation.)

Are you struggling in your finances? GIVE! Are you succumbing to the same old sin over and over? FAST! Are you board with church and the current state of "her" affairs? PRAY!

Lookit, I'm on a journey to make this real in my heart and mind. I've made small steps. But I'm not looking to write a blog like this when I'm fifty. I want to be like Anna. And when I'm eighty, I want to walk with a renewed mind and heart under the anointing of the Holy Ghost living a life hidden in Jesus.

But see, that's another thing. This life is hidden. People may never, ever know how much you pray, give or fast. People may never recognize what a great writer I am (wink) but I have to settle in my heart I'm writing for an audience of one. It is my reasonable and exceptable service.

So, there's my eclectic blog. Peace out.

Lessons from Texas

During last nights Rose Bowl for the National Title, Texas was down to USC going into the fourth quarter. But Vince Young, the Texas quaterback would not give up. With under a minute in the game, down 33 to 38, he ran in for a touchdown, then for a 2 point conversion. Texas won 41 to 38.

The quarterback for USC, Matt Leinart, said, "I still think we're a better football team, they just made the plays in the end."

Isn't that what makes a better football team? They make the plays in the end? And I do mean end. Texas was loosing by two touch downs with 6 minutes left in the game. And until the last 2 minutes, USC scored every possession.

So, what's the lesson? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!

I actually have so many thoughts about writing, friends and being violent about the things that steal my affection from Jesus I can't actually put them in cohesive words. Some, I can't post here 'cause it's personal, but if you find one of my other blogs, you might find it there. Haha.

I think I'm in a place where the Lord is weaning me off people for some things and drawing me closer to Him. After all, I've only been praying to be more abandoned and whole hearted for about five years now.

Well, I'm on a tight deadline this month. So, better get to writing. I think I have a Fire Dweller leadership meeting this afternoon and I'd really like to go to Spinning, but I don't think I'll have time. This month is about deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.

I lead worship last night, and will again on Friday, Sunday and next Wed. Man, the band sounded awesome last night! We did Misty Edward's new song, Favorite One. It was awesome, but it's a soaker song. We had to sing it through a dozen times before this deep anointing came.

Okay, to work.

A sigh of relief

Ohio State won the Fiest Bowl. Beat Notre Dame 34 to 20. Shew. I can breathe easy now. Matt and Jodi came over to watch with us.

Yesterday was fun... sorta family day. We had planned lunch with a new couple in church Matthew and Elisa, and when I showed up at church, Reuben and Allison Maher were there.

So, after a hearty lunch and good fellowship with Matthew and Elisa (and me winning Apples to Apples again, thank you) we got together with the Maher's and Ramlall's. Reuben and Allison's daughter, Kaityn, turns two in a few days, so we went to dinner at Carabbas then back to Grandpa and Grandma Ramlall's for cake and balloons. Kaitlyn is very cute and very smart. We enjoyed hanging out with every one.

Today I did a few chores and edited some before the game. Working on getting Lost in Nashvegas done, done.

Also, walked and had a prayer time, read my Bible. Working on keeping up with regular times with the Lord so that my heart is awakened. I was praying and reading out of Isaiah 1. Soon I hope to get my keyboard back from Lynn Coleman so I can start singing scripture. Love to do that.

Blessings!

Stuck on a theme

About pursuing Jesus. Taking a walk today under a deep blue sky and a golden sun, I thought how we spend time with God so much out of duty. Ok, well, I do. I don't mean to, but I'll spend time in prayer and the Word then sorta be like, "That's done. I don't have to feel guilty."

Sad. We so easily get into a religious rut. Or feel if we spend time with Jesus, all should go well. And if we don't, look out. What a crock. God is good all the time, faithful even when we are not. On the good days and the bad.

So, how do we get out of the "quiet time/devotional" mind set? It's so duty oriented and well, religious. Twenty five years ago I read Brother Lawrence's "Practicing The Presence of God" and it impacted me then, and all these years later, I still feel on the other side of his philosophy. Basically, Jesus is with us all the time and we can fellowship with Him any time we want.

Colossians 1:27 says that's this is mystery of the ages, Christ in us, the Hope of Glory!

It's not about spending 15 minutes reading through a devo book, or 30 minutes reading the Word, it's about a heart connect. And as He fans the fading flames of my heart, I want to spend time with Him. Then as I go about my daily tasks, I'm aware of His presence. Of His hand on my heart.

Look, I'm a start-in-the-flesh-and-end-in-the-Spirit if need be. I do honestly believe we have to set apart time to spend with the Lord or it won't happen. And the only way to go deeper, to swim in the River of Life is to BE. Eating of the Tree of Life is a planned, determined pursuit.

Yet, we cannot boast in our schedule or our regular times of prayer and fasting. Then THAT becomes our source and not Him. We are so quick to go to the rules and not the Ruler.

Why am I on this? Cause a lot is happening in the world. And I do not want to be offended at God when it all comes down. When more and more of His judgements are unleased on the earth. I do not want my heart to grow cold. The Bible is clear. End time judgements will cause the nations to rage against the Lamb. Think about it. The Tsunami, the wave of hurricanes. The Iraqi War. The Civil War of Ideas going on in our nation right now. All could very well speak of judgements. Judgements designed to grab our attention and bring the prodigals home and cause the wicked to repent.

You ask how could a good God do such things? Simple. He sacrificed His own Son for us. Such a great sacrifice deserves such a great wrath against those who refuse to surrender to Love. Think about it. What if you gave up your kid for the salvation of, say, your neighbors. Never mind the entire human race. And when it came time for you neighbors to accept the price of the sacrifice, they scoffed and said, "Naw, we got a better way. Your kid didn't do anything for us." Off they go, on their own way. Imagine the movements of your heart. First, you would say, "Please, please accept while there's time."

But then, eventually, if they neglect so great a salvation, they have to pay the price with their own life.

So, we pursue Him because His love is immeasureable, never ending, unconditional. Our cold, weak human hearts need His fire. We want to endure to the end. And it begins now. Today.

We're home

We flew home from Indiana yesterday. I listened to songs on my new IPod on the flight home. Santa was kind to me.

We had a great time with our family and it seems like the time went by so fast. I miss everyone already, but am happy to be home. I still need to unpack, but gee, the stack of cards and gifts that came while we were gone needed my attention.

YYY

I've been thinking more about living full on for Jesus. Surrendering more and more of my life, heart and mind to him. This is what I conclude. Get as close to the Fire as I can. Set my heart before Him, knowing He will take care of the rest.

Psalm 90 says He will accomplish what concerns me. This is my prayer. Take my weak, cold heart and fan the embers that smolder there. Turn my simple desire to be more like You, to know You more, to become a deep, deep well into a roaring passion that cannot be quenched. It's impossible for me to want Him more unless He draws me. So, I beg Him to draw me. Otherwise, I cannot run.

My goals for 2006 are simple. Pursue Jesus. Write. Hopefully get a new book contract since my second WestBow book will be turned in July 31.

Man, do you ever just feel so inadequate? Sheez. Thank goodness, Jesus is completely adequate and He lends Himself to me.

I also want 2006 to be a year where I abound in love. Do the First Corithians 13 thing. Love is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrong, bears all, believes all, hopes all. Never fails. It's the greatest.

Grace and Peace to you all.

Christmas Eve, Eve

We had a nice day. The sun warmed the day to a brisk 46. Snow still covers the ground in patches, but I hope I get to see some snow fall before we head home on the 28th.

Two of Tony's brothers, Dave and Jim came over tonight with their spouses, Sandy and Vickie. And Jim's grandson, Lucas. We ate. Yep. We ate. Mom made gumbo which was fab. And Vickie made corn chowder that was fab, fab. She also brought chocolate dipped strawberries and apricots.

It's always good to laugh and reminisce with family, isn't it?

Wrapped Tony's presents. He got quite a few from Santa Me, but they're boring. I can't help that. He requested boring stuff and could not come up with any exciting gift ideas. I'm going to have to remedy this next year. He's done this two years in a row, so next year, he's getting a new PDA or something. Oh, an electric guitar!

I've been thinking a lot about my life. Realistically, I've lived half of it. I'm 45. I'm not disappointed with my life up 'til now. I've been very blessed by the Lord. But, I really want the last 45 to count.

Luke 2 tells the story of Anna, a widow, who gave herself to prayer and fasting.

"And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers. At that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem."

Somehow, I want to be in that place, to have an eternal mind set. It's about living not for this life, but for the one to come. This life, as we say among our friends, is an internship for the next. Yet, it's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day pursuits. Good pursuits. But, what is there value in eternity?

Look, I'm not talking about quitting my job and sitting in the church sanctuary for eight hours. I mean, I'd do it if the Lord called, but I know I'm a mixture of a contemplative and a writer.

I'm talking about frivolous things like television or movies or hamburgers. So I miss a few shows or miss a few meals to fast, so what? So what? In all of eternity, so what?

What if I bite my tongue and don't defend myself, or don't give my honest, yet negative opinion of others. What if I esteem others higher than myself? What if I give up sleep to spend extra time in prayer, or choose to give that hundred dollars instead of buying DVDs or shoes?

I have so much. I am so blessed. If I had half of what I have, I would say the same. Yet, I am desperate to exchange my stock in this life for stock in eternity. Finding "eternity bucks" wherever I can.

I have control over my affections, money and time. How am I spending them in this life so they are not utterly destroyed in the next? Will the things I'm spending them on withstand the fire of God? Are they imperishable.

Paul understood this. First Corithians 15:53 he says, "For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality."

I think he's saying, "Stop thinking in temporal terms, but eternal terms." How do I do this? I'm not sure. Prayer. Dialog with the Father. Asking. Discipline. Starting some where, knowing I'll end up where I want to be. Not of myself, but because He's faithful.

So, 2006 will be that focus. More prayer, more Word. Fasting. Budgeting my expenditures of affection, money and time. And words.

All to Jesus, I surrender. All to Him I freely give.

A friend went on to be with Jesus today

Mom just called. A long time family friend passed away, Bill Hamilton. A family man, a military man, I first met Bill the fall of '74 in Homestead, Florida. His wife became one of my mom's dear friends, his sons long time friends of my brother's. And of mine.

I can't think of those days in Homestead and not remember Bill. He taught me to drive stick shift Thanksgiving day, ' 76. We were having a big church family picnic in our yard and some how there arose a yam emergency. Bill was tasked to run to the store for more.

Firing up the old, old, really old church truck, Bill asked me to tag along. Not many, if any stores were open on Thanksgiving Day, and the south Florida streets were quiet and barren. We found a convenient store, bought the needed yams, and headed home. Only with me behind the wheel. Bill had a wild idea to teach me to drive stick shift. In the old, old, very old truck. With three on the tree.

Fifteen and unsure of driving, let alone clutching and shifting, Bill's patiently taught me the basics of manual transmission driving and in a reasonable amount of time, I got us home. Though, I did sit at one traffic light for about 15 minutes. No traffic. No hassle, but I was sweating a little.

Bill treated my brothers, sister and I with kindness, always generous and encouraging. I'll miss him. But he's with Dad now, in the Cloud of Witnesses, no longer in pain, but in glory.

David, Joe, Nancy, I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

YYY

Tony and I are in Indianapolis. We flew the long way, by way of JFK, but we are hear. Our leg from Orlando to JFK was on Song Airlines, a Delta Operation. Normally, my policy is I don't fly airlines that sound like fast food chains or the latest brand of butter.

Air craft carriers should have technical, sceintific names that bolster confidence. " Yes, this bucket of bolts will stay in the air."

Or at least. "We can make it from one cost to the other," like Eastern or American West.

Or, "We can make it to the contenients." Conteniental.

Airlines that sound like fast food, Taca Airlines, or a componant of a music course, Song, or like the next Crayola Crayon color, Jet Blue, don't inspire confidence. Am I the only one?

But Song was great. Little TV monitors in front of all the seats. Nice food selection, though you have to buy it, at least you have a choice.

Indianapolis is cold, but the snow is melting. At least we got to see some. Can you believe Christmas is 3 days away?

Blessings to you all.

Brother Yun, the heavenly man

Lest we think our lives are hard, lest we doubt the grace and power of God...

Here's an excerpt from Brother Yun, on trail in China for "opposing the government" for preaching the gospel. The time is the early 80's, and Yun is in prison and now facing a judge.

The judge fell into a furious rage. His eyes bulged as he banged the bench and pointed at me. "I order you to kneel down before me and repeat the prayer you said on the tape."

Several guards with batons came and beat my legs to make me kneel down. They screamed, "Kneel down! Kneel down!"

At that moment, the power of the Lord filled me (RH: sounds like Mathew 10 stuff.) A voice spoke to my heart. "Dont be afraid! Be srong in the Lord. Even if ten thousand enemies surround you, rest in Jesus. Be bold and courageous in the Lord!"

As the guards continued to beat and kick me, I suddenly shouted at the judge in a louds voice, "By what authority do you order a servant of God to knew down before you? You have no right! Your questions are unreasonable. Now, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I command all of you to kneel down. I will lay hands on you and ask the Lord to forgive your sins."

They didn't kneel, and Brother Yun knew his struggle with the courts would be a long one. He writes, "They had used the most barbarous tortures their minds could invent, but had not been able to make me say a single incriminating word (to confess his crimes.)"

But miraculously, Yun was only sentenced to 4 years in prison, hard labor. Not life or death as he was told.

Brother Yun's story is full of heart breaking tales of hunger, torture, seeing his wife and children suffer. Even his mother suffered for Yun's "crimes." His only crime was preaching Jesus. But yet, let me say. Brother Yun saw and experience many divine things and miracles. Fasted 74 days without food or water. Revival in the prison camps. Healings and demonic deliverances. The book of Acts.

In 1989, I visited Toledo, Spain and one of the ancient churches had chains and shackles nailed to the outside wall. It was a visual reminder to the early Christians to remember to pray for the brothers and sisters in Christ who were in chains, suffering for Christ name.

In our American world, we bark about this liberty or that, but in reality, we have all liberties. People may not like us, but we pray when we want, talk about Jesus when we want, and freely move about the nation. I haven't heard of anyone being beaten and told to bow before a court office and pray a prayer of worship.

I'm so thankful to the Lord for our liberties. Oh, please, may they remain. But if you have the heart, please pray with me for the Lord to continue to give grace to our brothers and sisters in chains. And to work might miracles on their behalf.

Paul wrotes to the Colossians, "Here is my greeting in my own handwriting--PAUL. Remember my chains. May the grace of God be with you."

I need a support group

Clearly, I'm laundry challenged....



This is a load I started on Saturday, topped with the load from last night. It's clean. It's dry. It's just booorrrring! I'm trying to talk Tony into taking laundry back again. Time to pray and fast...

Wink.

Today, I did Christmas stuff

I'd planned on starting edits today, but woke up realizing I needed to get Christmas shopping finished. I headed out early to avoid the rush.

Around 11:30, I finished at the mall and drove over to the beach to get my nephews some cool surfer dude trinkets. Had a slice at Bizzaro's pizza, sat on the boardwalk in the wind and sun, watching the surfers and Yankees sunbathe.

It was a beautiful day here today.

I finished shopping online, went to Spinning class, addressed Christmas cards, wrote a Christmas letter, stuffed it in the cards, stamped and sealed them, wrapped a present to mail and oh, cleaned my desk!

You know, I still have a problem with cards and paper and notes I want to keep. What do I do with those?

Hope all of you are having a wonderful Christmas season!

Peace out.

DONE! Oh, so done

I'm done, finished, type the last line of Lost In Nashvegas's first draft! Yahooooooo! 84,962 words, not including the roughly 10K I deleted after Nashville.

I'm so glad. So relieved. So excited to start editing tomorrow. I can get four good days in before leaving on the 21st for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas. Beka called me yesterday and said twelve-year-old Josh said, "I can't wait for Aunt Rachel to get here. I'm going to give her a big hug. I miss her."

I'll be so busy with family stuff I don't think I'll be able to visit friends, which is sad. But the holidays are busy for everyone.

Cheek out the photo's page. New photos!

Peace and ahhhhhh! It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Seven Sevens

I'm tagged, like wild bear. Author Kristy Dykes tagged me for seven sevens. Seems I'm to address the following scenarios.

Seven Things to Do Before I Die
1. Pray for someone to be raised from the dead.
2. Preach the Gospel before hundreds of thousands.
3. See millions praying and fasting for Jesus to come again.
4. Be on the NY Times best seller list. And the CBA.
5. Be so consumed by the Love of Jesus I can't find myself.
6. Go to California on vacation.
7. See young women raising the bar and not living according to feminist standards.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. I can't sing and clap on beat for more than one or two measures.
2. Can't do calculus.
3. Do twelve back flips into the fullness of an oak tree.
4. Make homemade pizza dough.
5. Write computer code.
6. Play the drums.
7. I can't forget the love of Jesus.

Seven Things that Attract Me to My Husband [romantic interest, best friend, whomever](not necessarily in this order!)
1. He loves Jesus with his heart, mind and soul.
2. He loves me.
3. He's funny and very smart, and handsome. Doesn't have a pear shape.
4. He is a very wise counselor.
5. He is an excellent Bible teacher.
6. He can do calculus.
7. He supports me in everything I try to do.

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. What?!
2. What kind of crap is that? Mostly relating to politics and the media
3. Wow.
4. Amazing.
5. No way.
6. Hey.
7. What's up?

Seven Books I Love (in no particular order except for the first one)
1. The Bible
2. Little House Series
3. The Best Christmas Pageant Every
4. Anything by Belva Plain
5. Anything chick lit or lady lit.
6. Anything character driven.
7. Anything with good history back drop.

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again
1. Remember the Titans
2. Back to the Future.
3. Send Me No Flowers.
4. Knotting Hill.
5. While You Were Sleeping.
6. It's A Wonderful Life.
7. Any Christmas movie.

Seven People I Want to Join in Too:
1. Heather Diane Tipton
2. Christine Lynxwiler.
3. Hope Willbanks
4. Scott Weberg
5. Tracey Bateman
6. Will Donaldson
7. Joel Hayes

For 2006... here's a thought. Also, Happy Birthday, Tony.

This was on my heart all day yesterday. Words. What we speak over ourselves as much as what we speak over others. Words mean things. Witchcraft is just speaking curses so that spirits of darkness can agree and move, influence, reek havoc.

God spoke and the world was created. Jesus called in a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth!" And a dead man, lived. Jesus is the Word of God made flesh.

Last night at Fire Dweller we opened with exhorting the name of Jesus - who He is. Not what we need or want. Not calling on Him to visit us or change us or have His way, just Jesus, this is who you are. Living Lord. King of Kings. Righteous judge. Lover of our souls. The list goes on.

I felt the Lord say he wanted to cleanse our words. And as we lift up His name, declare who He is, truth washes away the lies of our own speech and we grow in grace. We need to guard our words. The Book of James says from our tongue comes both cursing and blessing.

We ought to only speak blessing and truth. As we do, those very things begin to reign in our hearts and minds.

For example, do you get down on yourself? Prophesy failure over yourself. I'm no good. No one likes me. I'm a failure. I'm never gonna or I always.... Then you're mad or surprised or disappointed when things go exactly as you predicted them.

See, it's human nature to prepare for the worse so we are only disappointed, not devastated when life fails us. Or, we walk in such false humility we never honor God for the good He's done. We think highlighting our weaknesses is doing God and ourselves a favor. Then, when things work out well, "Woo-wee," aren't we surprised! But we have no idea if and when it will ever happen again.

I think we need to build up a history in our souls, in our spirits, that God is for us, who can be against us. We need to prophesy and declare good things over ourselves and our families. And if you're nervous about getting in the flesh, and we all should be, declare the Word of God over your lives.

Like, Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Or, Ephesians 2:10 "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

Here's a good one. 1 Corinthians 2:9 "...but just as it is written," THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD,AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN, ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM."

Love this one. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

God has a plan and destiny for all of us. If you're struggling in an area, go to the Word and find scripture that will uphold you. Pray it, write it, memorize it, sing it, live it.

Don't declare failure over yourself. Declare who you are in Jesus. Get out that big soul stirring spoon and scrap the muck of self pity and depression from your soul. You are a Holy Priesthood, a Royal Nation.

You are the one who ravishes His heart with a single glance of your eye.

I'll use myself as an example. When I started writing, my prayer was always for God to confirm this pursuit. Cause, if He didn't call me to it, or didn't want me doing it, then I did not want to be accountable for all that wasted time. Writing is very, very time consuming. Never mind the mental and emotional energy it takes to create worlds and people.

Once God confirmed it, I had to walk in it even though I didn't see immediate success. Now that I have a few books under my belt, there is still a tendency to think, "Well, this is my last one. All the others were a fluke." Or, "The publisher is going to be disappointed they bought this one."

Now, it may work out well. But why should I be surprised, if I let that attitude over take me, that I am a fluke (a fluke, NOT a flake, come on, ya'll) or that my writing stinks.

But, I say, "God, you called me to this. You opened the doors. I'm walking in Your way. You will see to what concerns me. You will take care of me. You will give me ideas and help me hone my craft. I will be faithful. Give me dreams, visions, understanding on how to do this well!" Then, I've set myself up for success. If for some reason it doesn't go well, I know that I walked in faith and that the Lord has something else for me. But my goal is always, always Jesus. My identity is in Him, not writing.

I declare, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is established in heaven." He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.

My chief calling is to enjoy God and worship Him, and to be faithful. He'll take care of the rest.

Writing and Christmas

Wahh! It's difficult to write in December. My birthday, Tony's, Christmas, Shopping, Parites, Weddings. Never mind the regular stuff - Fire Dweller, Youth Church, Big Church...

But, don't cry for me Argentina, I'm cool with it all. But my laundry is having a hard time. Still in the basket, in the laundry room, the clean clothes wait. This morning I finally moved a drying rack from the front hall that was draped with sweat shirts and my jean jacket. Know what's weird. The rack stood in the hall so long, when I went around the corner after I moved it, my body wanted to swerve in order to walk around. All ready, in a week's time, my muscles were trained.

Think about that. Our bodies, our minds, our emotion are subtly trained to respond or react to the obstacles in our lives. And even after they are removed, we still want to swerve. Or jump, or react in some way. It felt good when I realized swerving was not required.

On Writing. I feel bland. Very bland and very boring. I'm about five or so thousand words away from being done with Lost in Nashvegas. Whoo hoo. I am praying hard for a creative finish. It's weird, I don't feel writers block or like I don't want to write, I do. I just feel boring. I need some inspiration! :) I need a keyboard so I can sing. I need to stir my soul. Soul stiring is hard, you know. But, I must.

Off to get a big spoon.

Girls Christmas Lunch and Ornament Exchange

About ten years ago, the ladies at Harris Publishing Systems started a tradition. I like traditions, don't you?

Every year, we go to lunch or dinner to fellowship and exchange Christmas Ornaments. We always have great fun, and even though some of us don't work there any more, we are still invited. I love seeing familiar faces and hearing the latest in old friend's lives.

We play the "white elephant" game for the ornament exchnage, though the gifts are not gag, but beautiful ornaments. I drew Number One this year. Yay! My first pick was stolen from me, and many times over, but in the end, I got it back - a beatiful snowman ornament. It dangles from my tree as I write.

Click on Photos to see more pictures. Start one of your own traditions. Invites some girlfriends to lunch for an ornament exchange.

And Julie, I put up a picture of the tree. Happy? ;)

Love Jesus, ya'll. He's worth it.

Last night at the Fire Dweller...

... prayer meeting I "blew" Jim Maher's expectations. Picture me, one raised eyebrow. Here's the story. I cut my worship teeth under Jim when he was our senior pastor and worship leader. He's reminiscent of Kent Henry if you need a comparison. Yet, all the while I knew Jim, I was only a singer.

When God called him to Kansas City to the International House of Prayer, I became a worship leader at NCF. That's a God story I'll save for later. Actually a pretty cool one. Frustrated with not being able to play an instrument, or understand how chords progress, or how a song key works, I learned to play the keyboard on a little Yamaha I bought from a guy at work for $50. Little by little, I learned some theory and people like Laura, Cassie and David gave me pointers. Now, I can play and lead worship at the same time. Whoo hoo. Apparently, it's not easy to sing and play at the same time. So, all glory goes to God.

So, last night at Fire Dweller Jim thinks he's getting a keyboard player, maybe a singer, but NOT a antiphonal singer. Gotta admit, that's a little harder cause you gotta keep the chord progression going and make up something to fit into it. Half way through the set, Jim leans over to me and says, "Man, you're playing and singing! I'm impressed. That's great!" LOL. Then, I like, you know, hit a bad note.

Being busy. I heard a little sermonette on the radio today which it unusual cause I don't normally listen to Christian radio. Anyway, the man said modern electronics, as great as they are, can be a hazzard to the Christian life. Why? Because it's a distraction and we become addicted or accustomed email, television, music, movies, etc., that we don't take time to contemplate before the Lord.

Take time to shut off the noise. Close the door. Still your heart and focus on Jesus.

I'm so IT

Tracey tagged me, so I'm up, chasing her around the circle and just might tag her back. LOL.

Fifteen things about myself that are book-related? Here goes nuddin'.

1. Where the Wild things are is my favorite children's book. I ditto Tracey here. When we went through family things after my father died, I found my childhood version of this book. I loved it, though I thought it was slightly creepy. I mean, I was eight!

2. I hate to read or listen to books outloud, except on CD, but even then it's hard.

3. In refute of number 2, I read "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" out loud to Tony one year on a drive from Indiana to Florida. We laughed uproariously.

4. Sad note on number 3. When I was about 12 or 13, my Grandma Hayes gave me an autographed copy of Pageant. She knew Barbara Robinson. I cannot find that book to save my life. Some where in the moves, college and life in general, it got lost. I'm sad over my loss.

5. I wrote a poem in fourth grade that was so fabulous, my father started telling me I should be a writer. The poem went the way of The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Nevertheless, in fifth grade, I started my first novel. It had a horse. Imagine, a ten year old girl writing a story of a horse. How unique.

6. I love, absolutely love the Little House books and have read them a dozen times. I got my first paper back series in 1973 and have since collected the original eight in hard back, plus The First Four years and other writings of Mrs. Wilder.

7. I love chick lit. And Tracey Bateman's mom lit, Claire. She's hilarious. And real.

8. I love Belva Plain books.

9. I plan to sit on Oprah's couch some day and talk about books and Jesus. I'm taking Colleen Coble and Tracey Batemen along as my homeys.

10. If I could write funny like Calvin & Hobbs, I would.

11. I'm gonna buy the book "TISHA" 'cause Tracey said so.

12. I love the smell of new books. When I go into a book store, my stomach gets all swirly and excited.

13. My first finished novel was a honkin' 400 pager with two plots and two romances. It was well rejected by many astute editors.

14. I used to dream and talk about writing books with my Aunt Carol and Grandma Hayes.

15. I'm so honored and humbled to be writing fiction for Jesus. It's hard some days and I bore myself, but the Lord is so good and faithful. Writer's blocks are few. I'm almost 45 and I wish I'd started writing sooner, but I was doing the corporate career thang. But God willing, I'll write until I'm 85.

A quote. And a story about my dog

During prayer one day, the Lord said to a great woman of God I know. "You deny my power to transform your life by your undue and unrelenting focus on your own weakness.

How true is that? What a great word? We focus on our own weakness, our powerlessness and decide God can't do anything for us.

There is no im in His possible. Believe God. He is willing. He is able.

So my dog, Pal. Many of you know him... um, yeah, the crazy little black & brown dude. While in my writing room this morning, Pal suddenly tries to climb into my lap. He scratched and clawed, trembling, and refused to sit like I told him. He acted scared and I'm not kidding, he kept looking over his shoulder to where he normally naps while I work.

"What is it, Pal?" I asked, shoving him back down to the floor. He wouldn't have it. Wanted in my lap desperately.

I think he saw an angel. He's done this before, but today was really obvious. People have seen angels around here. Maybe Pal saw one today. My little "seeing" dog.

I finally passed the 60K word mark. And, this after spending the month of November researching and rewriting, editing. Oh, please pray this story is good. I really appreciate it.

Oh! Matt and Jodi are here! They moved into their apartment today and came to the pot luck. They are going to work with us at Youth Church. They'll be here until next September, unless God says otherwise. Please, Lord, please!

Peace out, ya'll.

A writer's life

Jer, Laura, Ezra, baby Avi
I love the writer's life, though it is solitary and isolated. So much of the work resides in my head, and my soul, and until it's on paper, I'm alone. But it's the process of getting it from my mind, down through my fingers, onto the page that is fun. Okay, it's also frustrating, but when it all comes together.... sue-weet.

A funny thing happened to me last night at the gym. I'm in the sports cardio class, running around the workout room when I get this great line for a scene I'd written earlier. "Need paper. Need pencil." I just run out the door and up to the front desk. Sweating. Panting. "Need paper. Need pencil."

Never know when a good idea is gonna strike. Came home and added my thoughts to the scene.

We put up our new Christmas tree. A faux fur. I just couldn't deal with stringing lights this year, so we caved and went with store bought. Apparently, we chose the popular tree 'cause Home Depot sold out and I talked them into selling me the display. There were two more people wanting the same tree. Glad we got there when we did. I love the Christmas season. It's so beautiful.

Well, better get to work. Sorry I don't have more to say. Well, I do, but I'm not sure I want to bleed all over my blog. Ha!

This I know - God is good, great in kindess and mercy. He will see to what concerns me.

Boasting and being thankful

Here's a great verse and thought... 1 Corinthians 1:31 "so that, just as it is written, "LET HIM WHO BOASTS, BOAST IN THE LORD."

So come on, let's boast in the Lord. I'm on my way to turkey dinner, but will post more later.

Peace out.

Lambert's Code Response

Hey ya'll, I've had some response on Lambert's Code. I'm happy to report. All good. A friend just called and said she finished it this morning and loved it. She cried at the end. And she thought the lesson of Lambert's Code was so good.

I was worried about this story. Not sure I'd done a good job, but it turns out a few people liked it.

Well, I realllly neeeed to vaccum my house. So, talk at ya later. Peace out.

Where did November go

Hey, somebody stole November. Where has this month gone? Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. I love this holiday. I miss Dad.

We are staying in town. Tony's back is healing and I'll be working. But, I'm having so much fun with Lost.

I went to the library to write today. It's a good place for change of pace and not so easy access to the internet.

I went to a karaoke bar Friday night after Fire Dweller. My character is going to karaoke to try to get over singing in front of people. I went to watch and learn. It was interesting. :)

I'm tired. Going to bed.

Song of Solomon 1:13

"My beloved is to me a pouch of myrrh which lies all night between my breasts."

Myrrh is a costly embalming fluid that often speaks of death and suffering. The Bride (you and me) announces that she gets the depth and meaning of her Beloved's suffering at the Cross.

A pouch of myrrh between her breast indicates that she is meditating on extravagant expense the Father paid for us - the abundant suffering and death of His Son. The price of love for us was the death of His beautiful son. She is meditating on this in a quiet place, on her bed. "What kind of love is this?"

The myrrh lying all night next to her heart permeates her spirit. The revelation of Jesus captivates and fascinates her. "At night" speaks of her encountering her Beloved in the midst of her own weakness.

In our darkest times, our weakest times, we often run from Jesus. We don't meditate on Him, or grasp His suffering-cross-love, we run and hide. Instead, we need to meditate in these night seasons on how great He demonstrated His love for us. The cross qualifies us. It doesn't disqualify us.

Nevertheless, in the midst of this great revelation, the Bride is a tad self focused. She's saying, "My Beloved is to me..." It's about her and her enjoyment of Him, and how He can bless her.

Unfortunately, many believers never leave this realm. We stay in a "bless me" place and when things don't go our way, we become angry and wonder if He loves us, or where He is in our life.

As we go through the rest of the Song, we find her inheritance declarations begin to include His inheritance in her. She realizes His inheritance in her is first, and she is filled with the reality of her love for Him, and His ownership of her. Yet, it's servant, lover ownership. He paid EVERYTHING for her. He is not asking her to give up or do anything He has not already done.

Notes on awakening your heart with this Song: Write down the verses that stand out to you. Meditate on them, say them, pray them, sing them. Make them apart of your daily dialogue with God.

Song of Solomon 1:12

While the king was at his table, My perfume gave forth its fragrance...

We have watched the Bride grow in the revelation of her Lover's love and affection for her. Jesus is in love with her. With you and me. Remember, the Bride is us. Both corporately and individually.

But, she's still a selfish lover. Jesus is a means, not at end. She sees Him as the source of her happiness, not the embodiment of her happiness. He will help me get where I want to be. She is still immature and trapped in weakness. She understands that Jesus is her inheritance, but must learn the deeper revelation that we are His inheritance. Isn't that amazing.

While the king is at His table...

Jesus the King expresses the affection of the Father's heart. He's answered the brides question in verse 7, "where will you feed me?" He's saying, I'll feed you. I'll provide for you. You don't have to worry. He's revealing the authority of His Kingship. She, we, can trust His affection for us because He's king.

We must see that our lover-redeemer is a glorious King, sitting at a banqueting table, waiting for you and me. Pouring out His love and affection on us. He's saying, Come into this intimate communion with me.

...at His table

Speaks of a place of revelation. Speaks of the marriage supper of the Lamb at the end of the age. It speaks of the Cross. The table of salvation that we all come to when we first know Him. He's prepared a way for us, to the affectionate heart of the Father, a feast, by going to the Cross and conquering sin and death.

...My perfume gave forth it's fragrance.

Some translations say spikenard gave forth it's fragrance. Spikenard or perfume speaks of her spontaneous worship. She's sitting at the King's table, feeding on the truth of the Cross (salvation, deliverance, provision, affection, healing, unconditional love...) Her heart is overjoyed and she releases her worship to the Father. It is a fragrance before Him.

The Lord loves the fragrance of our heart, of our worship. When we focus on His provision, our spirits emanate with a sweet fragrance. We are to God the fragrance of Jesus.

But many of us are overcome with condemnation and accusation. We are not confident in God's love. We release a fragrance of fear instead of worship. Is He going to reject me? When we are not secure in our place before Him, we cannot open our hearts in true worship. We cannot present ourselves for fear of rejection or judgment.

So, hear what the Lord is saying. He's sitting at His banqueting table. It's already laid out for you. He's saying Come! I see your weakness and immaturity, but I love you. Come, be secure in my love. See what I've done for you.

Then, we worship Him freely, our spirits a beautiful, costly perfume before Him.

Song of Solomon 1:9 - 11

You remind me of Pharaoh's well-groomed and satiny mares.
Pendant earrings line the elegance of your cheeks;
Strands of jewels illumine the curve of your throat.
I'm making jewelry for you, gold and silver jewelry.

I love horses. When they run, they are beautiful and powerful. Jesus uses the beauty and power of horses to give us a picture of His love for us. He sees our willing and sincere heart. When I watch horses race, I almost always get teary-eyed. I feel their willingness, sincerity and eagerness to run. They want to please the rider.

When Solomon wrote this verse, Pharaoh's horses were the best in the world. To be a mare in his stable, she had to be of the purist breed, strong, capable and beautiful. Jesus likens us to the best of the best. He calls us "my love." Some translations say, "My beautiful one." He wants us to see ourselves as chosen, selected, and beautiful. Anyone, anyone who leans on Him is beautiful and loved. Remember John 7:37 says "if anyone comes to me... out of him will flow rivers of living water." We have to see ourselves as beautiful and loved. He says so Himself.

... Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments.

How often have your cheeks flushed with emotion or born the trail of tears? Cheeks reflect or hold our emotions. Cheeks speak symbolically of our emotion throughout this Song. In this verse, Jesus sees that our emotions are toward Him. As we allow His love to transform us, it reflects in our emotions! Bye, bye PMS. Bye, bye fear and anxiety. Bye, bye depression. Jesus' love transforms my emotions and stirs my heart more and more toward Him. And, He in turn, responds as Lover responds to lover. Ornaments are skillfully crafted. God skillfully works to beautiful us and our emotions. Though we struggle with lust or anger or jealousy, He sees the YES! in our heart to grow in Him, to be changed. Just say YES!

...Your neck with chains of gold.

The neck speaks of our will. Don't be stubborn or rebellious, but be of godly submission. Chains of gold speak of royalty and authority. Back in the day, only royalty wore gold chains. Gold indicated divine character being formed in us as we seek him, cry out to Him even though we stumble.

... We will make you ornaments of godly with studs of silver.

This is God's divine promise to complete the good work He began in you. As we partner with Him, He will transform us, make us Christ-like in our character. We will be extravagant worshippers of Jesus. Gold is purified with fire. So are we. But He promises us a complete and beautiful work. Silver speaks of His redemption. He will use us to redeem and deliver other people. You are not a failure if you stumble. God is for you, working to transform you. You are only a failure if you harden your heart or quit.

Hang in there as He refines you. Keep saying YES! in your heart.

Going home

Well, the whirlwind week in Nashvegas is coming to an end. I'm meeting with my lovely and gracious editor, Ami, this morning, then heading home.

Yesterday I met with songwriter Karen Staley with my friend, Lisa Young. Had a blast. We just hit it off. She was great. She's had songs cut by Faith Hill and Trick Pony and others. By the time we left Karen's, it was late afternoon. We fought the traffic across town to pick up Lisa's car that was in the shop. While waiting for her, I checked my voicemail and had a message from Chris Oglesby who owns a songwriter management company. He'd graciously hooked me up with songwriter Barry Dean of God's Will and Moving Oleida.

I met Barry at the NSAI building, enticed a very tired Lisa to tag along, and sat through his workshop. Then we three went for coffee. Very nice, creative, kind man.

And, very exciting, I got to say Hi to my friend and traveling Man of God, Shawn Bolz, on the phone. He's in Melbourne at a conference and was with Tony when I called. I always look forward to seeing Shawn, and I'm missing him this year! If you ever get to hear Shawn speak, do it! He is so practical about the things of God, but also very challenging. Stirs the heart to go deeper. He's had amazing experiences in the Lord and had incredible revelation. Yet, he's every day, real and relatable. :)

Well, I'm off to seize the day. Peace out.

Lost In Nashvegas

My new title! I love it. I do. It's so Robin, my character. Lost in Nashvega. Nashvegas is a nickname for this great town, but Robin will find her way.

I'm having a great time, but am exhausted. Yesterday I spoke with Ree Buchanan of Wrensong Publishing. One of her writers has 2004's song of the year, Brad Paisley's Whisky Lullaby. She was very kind and gracious.

After that I went where... oh, to Centennial Park and walked around there, then downtown to the Hall of Fame and the Ryman Auditorium.

I entered into legend, ya'll. I sang on the stage steps of the Ryman where hundreds have gone before. I sang "This Little Light Of Mine." :)

I loved the Hall but information overload. There is so much great history to country music. The Ryman was great - incredible history. Built by Colonel Ryman after attending a revival tent meeting by an Evangelist, Snow. "Something in the sermon touch the Colonel..." hum, wonder what that was? (wink, wink) He took his gambling and drinking earnings and build Snow a building so he wouldn't have to preach in a tent anymore.

I see the Ryman preaching the Word of God again someday.

Went to the Bluebird with Lisa Young. Very fun night. All the singer/songwriters were great. Loved Wynn Varble. His songs were clever, funny and touching. Even his in between song chatter was hilarious. Redneck to the bone, too.

Today I went by WestBow's office and said hello, then to Noshville for lunch. Saw Ree from yesterday's appointment there. Didn't say hi, but saw her. Had another appointment with a songwriter manager. That went really well and he had some great ideas for my book.

Now, I'm going to go to another songwriter thing with Lisa. Having fun, but tired in Nashvegas. Traffic is a mess... er, blessing!

Peace out.

Pancake Pantry

I'm into pancakes lately. Bad habit, I know. But Rebeca Seitz picked me up this morning and we went for a hearty breakfast, then for a drive around the city.

It's a beautiful day in Nashville. Beautiful blue skies hovering over the perfect temperature. The leaves are still changing. Many reds and golds still left to see.

My drive up was nice, though long. I probably stopped seven times and still made it in 13 hours. My days of driving from Columbus to Tallahassee in 12 hours (55 was the speed limit) are so over! I can't sit that long. My legs and hips start to cramp up. But the drive was very nice. Again beautiful weather. I wanted to put the top down, but then realized all the highway dirt will settle right on my beige interior.

I listened to Ray Blackston's Dilerious Summer on CD. Well, almost all of it. Probably half. I'm enjoying it. He's a lovely writer. I'm learning a few dos and don'ts.

Right now, I'm off to see more of the city and then meet Christian singer/songwriter Vicky Beeching down in Cool Springs. Check out her web site at www.vickybeeching.com.

Today's wisdom. This is awesome. Psalm 19:8. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.

Need a little joy in your heart? Need some radiance in your eyes? Dwell for some time today in the precepts of the Lord! God's Word is so cool.

Peace out.

Off to Nashville

Off to Nashville at 4:00 a.m. I'm driving so all prayers are appreciated. I have a good week planned with plenty of room for just touring around the city."

I got some CDs for my drive. Now, if only I could nap while I drive.

I'll catch up on blogging later. Still need to do Song of Solomon 1:9 and 10. (They go together.)

I had a good week in Orlando writing. I wrote 19,800 words. Not as much as I wanted, but a good effort and pushed through the tough middle. I am really loving this story. Robin Rae Buckner is spunky, yet vulnerable as she works through her fear that keeps her from achieving her dream. Find out more in a chick lit coming soon to a bookstore near you. October 2006.

Well, it's later and I'm off to pack and to read for awhile.

Blessings. Rachel

I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing

Nothing else to say, guys. I'm writing.

I did do a heartfelt blog on Faithchicks. Check that out: www.faithchick.com

The Vistana's is lovely and beautiful. A resort, no doubt.

Oh, I have my own CD. LOL. Tony recorded my Fire Dweller set on Friday night with my awesome band, David and Alyssa. For a live, unmixed set, without any practice time, it's really good. I was so surprised. It's a great CD to put on and get warmed up for a prayer time. I told Tony we should start making all the Fire Dweller CDs available. Javi, Jake, Matt, Jer and Laura.

Well, off to work. I have to come down to the lobby to use the internet, so it's back to my room. Peace out.

Hey to my Pinkies!!