Lost in NashVegas? 80,653 words.
Rachel? Exhausted.
Relief feeling to have the book done? PRICELESS!!!!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Fire Dweller Band and Florida Snow
Florid Snow. ;)
My Friday night Fire Dweller band. Awesome Dudes! Dan, Joseph, David (best dern guitar player) and me (average workship leader-singer, below average keyboarder.)
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Vignettes - Mary at the Cross
She didn't recognize him. Bruised, bloody, beaten.
He stumbled under the weight of the thick splintered cross. Wind tunneled down the narrow street, billowing his blood soaked robe. Flesh hung and she could see the jagged edges of his skin and muscle. She could see through to the bone. Bile rose in her throat and tears streamed down her face without restraint. What had they done to him? Why?
The man she loved, whose feet she washed with her tears. They tried him as a common criminal. Battered and humiliated him beyond belief. For what? For loving them? For healing them?
The jeering and mocking of the crowd pounded in her head like the wild beating of drums and she wanted to scream. "Stop! Leave him alone!"
Isn't that how he defended her the night she washed his feet with her perfume? "Leave her alone," he commanded Judas and the others. "She's done this for my burial."
She knew then of his complete acceptance, his unending love. His eyes never left her face. No man ever looked at her the way he did. Pure. Without demand. Without lust. Now, oh now. She dared to look at him again. He'd fallen and his blood stained the cobblestones.
"Get up!" The soldier demanded, kicking his ribs.
Pain gripped his battered face. He tried to rise, but the cross tipped off his shoulder and he stumbled again.
Help him. Help him.
Then, there, his hand, reaching out to her. His eyes were swollen closed, but his hand, trembling, red and dripping, reaching. To her? His friend. My friend.
"You! Carry the cross." The soldier jerked a man from the crowd. He tripped and fell before him, but with such care, took up his cross. Blood fell on the man's clothes, his hands and feet.
She followed the procession to the hill. Sobbing, uncontrollable, helpless to stop them as they nailed his hands, his feet to the splintered tree. He flinched with each blow of the hammer, but not once, not once did he cry out.
Willing he went, she now knew. But why? He's innocent. So beautiful.
She stood at the foot of his cross, and with one last breath, he gazed down at her. There were others, crowding around, but she felt as if he saw her alone.
He struggled to see as the blood from the thorns seeping down. She dared, reaching up to touch his battered, pierced foot. He sighed when she touched him.
Any other time, any other man, she would not have recognized him. But there, in his eyes, she saw her true love. His lips parted. A smile. Did he smile? In the midst of such suffering, did he smile? At me?
Then she understood, with every part of her being, the purpose of this Man. More than the night she wiped his feet with her hair. More than when she looked at his face and he silenced her accusers. His purpose is complete and utter love, without condition.
Nothing could separate them now. Not even death.
He stumbled under the weight of the thick splintered cross. Wind tunneled down the narrow street, billowing his blood soaked robe. Flesh hung and she could see the jagged edges of his skin and muscle. She could see through to the bone. Bile rose in her throat and tears streamed down her face without restraint. What had they done to him? Why?
The man she loved, whose feet she washed with her tears. They tried him as a common criminal. Battered and humiliated him beyond belief. For what? For loving them? For healing them?
The jeering and mocking of the crowd pounded in her head like the wild beating of drums and she wanted to scream. "Stop! Leave him alone!"
Isn't that how he defended her the night she washed his feet with her perfume? "Leave her alone," he commanded Judas and the others. "She's done this for my burial."
She knew then of his complete acceptance, his unending love. His eyes never left her face. No man ever looked at her the way he did. Pure. Without demand. Without lust. Now, oh now. She dared to look at him again. He'd fallen and his blood stained the cobblestones.
"Get up!" The soldier demanded, kicking his ribs.
Pain gripped his battered face. He tried to rise, but the cross tipped off his shoulder and he stumbled again.
Help him. Help him.
Then, there, his hand, reaching out to her. His eyes were swollen closed, but his hand, trembling, red and dripping, reaching. To her? His friend. My friend.
"You! Carry the cross." The soldier jerked a man from the crowd. He tripped and fell before him, but with such care, took up his cross. Blood fell on the man's clothes, his hands and feet.
She followed the procession to the hill. Sobbing, uncontrollable, helpless to stop them as they nailed his hands, his feet to the splintered tree. He flinched with each blow of the hammer, but not once, not once did he cry out.
Willing he went, she now knew. But why? He's innocent. So beautiful.
She stood at the foot of his cross, and with one last breath, he gazed down at her. There were others, crowding around, but she felt as if he saw her alone.
He struggled to see as the blood from the thorns seeping down. She dared, reaching up to touch his battered, pierced foot. He sighed when she touched him.
Any other time, any other man, she would not have recognized him. But there, in his eyes, she saw her true love. His lips parted. A smile. Did he smile? In the midst of such suffering, did he smile? At me?
Then she understood, with every part of her being, the purpose of this Man. More than the night she wiped his feet with her hair. More than when she looked at his face and he silenced her accusers. His purpose is complete and utter love, without condition.
Nothing could separate them now. Not even death.
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Count Down to Deadline
Well, ten days until my first WestBow book is due. Tony's reading it now and well, it's 11:40 p.m. and he's well over his planned reading.
He said, "You got me hooked." And this from a sci fi reader. He's doing a great job of recognizing things the are inconsistant with Robin Rae McAfee's character. He's also recognizing when a scene doesn't end right or needs more punch. There's only been a few, but I'm glad he's cathcing those things. He's learning.
February is focus month. I have a to-do list.
Pray. Fast. Clean closets. Come up with next book idea. Visit friends. Work out. Of course, I'll have to time that with fasting, but I can do it. I'm looking forward to it.
I really like Lost In NashVegas. It's shaping up. I also did the line edits for Georgia On Her Mind last week and am really digging that book, still. Can you believe I started it two years ago!
Fire Dweller was awesome last night. We had 50 people. Javi lead worship and blew it up, of course. We had consistant prayers, too, and Javi and I go into some good antiphonal singing.
Just a continued seriousness in our hearts. I see Joshua 24:15 rising. "Choose this day whom you will serve."
The fence is going away. You will either be wholehearted for or so offended you'll be against.
Oh, one of my girls wrote an awesome blog! Check it out. http://cassiecampbell.blogspot.com.
Peace out.
He said, "You got me hooked." And this from a sci fi reader. He's doing a great job of recognizing things the are inconsistant with Robin Rae McAfee's character. He's also recognizing when a scene doesn't end right or needs more punch. There's only been a few, but I'm glad he's cathcing those things. He's learning.
February is focus month. I have a to-do list.
Pray. Fast. Clean closets. Come up with next book idea. Visit friends. Work out. Of course, I'll have to time that with fasting, but I can do it. I'm looking forward to it.
I really like Lost In NashVegas. It's shaping up. I also did the line edits for Georgia On Her Mind last week and am really digging that book, still. Can you believe I started it two years ago!
Fire Dweller was awesome last night. We had 50 people. Javi lead worship and blew it up, of course. We had consistant prayers, too, and Javi and I go into some good antiphonal singing.
Just a continued seriousness in our hearts. I see Joshua 24:15 rising. "Choose this day whom you will serve."
The fence is going away. You will either be wholehearted for or so offended you'll be against.
Oh, one of my girls wrote an awesome blog! Check it out. http://cassiecampbell.blogspot.com.
Peace out.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
End and Change
Coming home from youth church last night, I turned on the radio and it was tuned to an oldies station.
Isn't it amazing the power of music to transport our emotions to a different time, a different place?
The song, which I can't remember now, stirred my heart to remember my teenage years in Tallahassee. We had a lot of fun, working, going to school, rollerskating.
I think, "Dad was alive then." All my memories are sorta tainted now with his death. Mom is planning to sell the house this year and move to Versailles, Indiana with Grandma.
When she does, life in Tallahassee will end forever. There will be little reason to go there. Unfortunately, I've lost touch with many of my friends. It is the way of life, I suppose.
But, I'm excited for the future. I don't know if you all can feel it, but God is up to something huge.
A friend of mine had a dream about God opening up doors of evanglism (it was an incredible dream) but I don't have permission to share it here. But, I'll tell you, the dream indicates change in the earth of Biblical proportions. His wife was telling me the dream and though the details seemed simple, I said, "Oh wow, this is what we've been reading about in scripture for 2000 years." We both got chills.
Anyway, after that I cried and cried cause my friends will also be moving as part of what God is doing in their lives. She was my first "daughter" and I'll miss her.
But people, get ready, Jesus is coming. Forget what lies behind, press forward to what lies ahead. It's the upward call of God in Christ.
Isn't it amazing the power of music to transport our emotions to a different time, a different place?
The song, which I can't remember now, stirred my heart to remember my teenage years in Tallahassee. We had a lot of fun, working, going to school, rollerskating.
I think, "Dad was alive then." All my memories are sorta tainted now with his death. Mom is planning to sell the house this year and move to Versailles, Indiana with Grandma.
When she does, life in Tallahassee will end forever. There will be little reason to go there. Unfortunately, I've lost touch with many of my friends. It is the way of life, I suppose.
But, I'm excited for the future. I don't know if you all can feel it, but God is up to something huge.
A friend of mine had a dream about God opening up doors of evanglism (it was an incredible dream) but I don't have permission to share it here. But, I'll tell you, the dream indicates change in the earth of Biblical proportions. His wife was telling me the dream and though the details seemed simple, I said, "Oh wow, this is what we've been reading about in scripture for 2000 years." We both got chills.
Anyway, after that I cried and cried cause my friends will also be moving as part of what God is doing in their lives. She was my first "daughter" and I'll miss her.
But people, get ready, Jesus is coming. Forget what lies behind, press forward to what lies ahead. It's the upward call of God in Christ.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Special K Diet
Is Special K serious? Eat 2 bowls of their cereal twice a day for two weeks and lose six pounds? Twenty-eight bowls of Special K? I don't know what kind of whacky diet they're trying to pass on the American public, but hey, I bought a box. Stay tuned...
Tony filled in at the Vineyard this morning for Jim Bartholomew. We always like going up there. A great church.
Came home, watched the Steelers beat the Colts, then met the Fire Dweller leaders for dinner at.... (drum roll) Carrabbas. I've eaten there five times in the last three months. I'm SO over it. But, I loved the company. We had a great time with Javi and Brenda, Don and Wendy. Missed you Matt and Dee.
Friday night I met with Lynn Evans for new photos. She did a great job. I don't have the pictures yet, but we previewed them on her 8 megapixel SLR, and there were some really nice ones. She's great at posing and capturing the essence of her subject.
Writing is going well. I want to make some subtle changes and add some layers, but the time is winding down and I'm very, very tight on getting it critiqued. I wish I could write differently so that I had time for critiquers, but I don't.
I figured out I write like I think. Oh, duh, Rachel. Here's what I mean. I may be in a conversation or meeting, and after the fact, I go away thinking and then come up with a great solution, reply or answer. I do the same with writing. I write a scene or dialog and then later while exercising or taking a bath or cleaning, I'll come up with elements to enhance the scene. So, it takes me awhile to get a manuscript ready for critique.
So, all is well. It's cold tonight but we got home too late to worry with building a fire.
I'm reading Tracey Bateman's "Color Of The Soul." Very awesome!
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Power of Agreement
Amos 3:3 poses this question: how can any two walk together unless they have agreed? Do you find yourself walking in agreement with lies, negativity, self-pity, fear, depression? So much of our emotional battle on a day to day basis is our flesh and being in a world where the prince of the air, the devil, lies about us day and night. His lies are every where and so easy to agree with.
Me, last night: No one likes me. My writing career is over. Surely I've offended too many people. Every one is ignoring me. I email people, they don't email me back.
Blah, blah. Oh, such a sad, sad song. It was so bad I went to Tony after the first worship set and said, "Dude, I feel like I'm going to freak out." I felt condemnation like chains.
He prayed for me and I felt better. Then when I came home, I said, that's it. "GET OFF!" Did some warfare and felt a whole lot better.
We forget our war is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities of darkness in heavenly places. Read Ephesians 6.
Wage war. Do not agree with the lies of the enemy, even if you physically feel sick or panicked, fight the good fight.
I remember one time, years ago, I stood in the back of the sanctuary and oh, self pity was standing there with me, yaking in my ear. I nodded my head in agreement, my heart awakening to the sorrow of my plight. Which was, what, I don't know. Nothing. I have no real plight.
So, in walked one of our twenty-something young ladies, a single mom, really hard family life. She'd made some really bad decisions and was struggling. While I can't compare myself, I knew in that instant I would never want to trade places with this young woman (which Jesus did, btw) and I told self-pity to take a hike. "The Lord rebuke you."
I had to work at it for a few minutes, but I physically felt different when it finally left.
Who are you agreeing with, what voices real or imagined? If you are not agreeing with the Word of God, you're agreeing with you soul or the devil. Agree with God. He sent Jesus to pay an enormously huge, costly, expensive price for you. You're an heir. A princess, a prince, a ruler in your Father's house. And there's so much more where that came from. We're seeing the tip of the iceberg.
You know what? There's a tip to God's iceberg, and to the devil's. One lifts you up and gives life. That other, slowly kills you emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Choose this day whom you will serve.
Go out in joy! Be lead with Peace!
Congratulations to Margo for winning Mary's book, Made Of Honor!!!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Made of Honor Blog Tour 2
Hi all,
Realized my comment feature was, er, is having trouble. Add comments here or email me at rachel@rachelhauck.com to win Made of Honor by Marilynn Griffith.
Blessings!
Realized my comment feature was, er, is having trouble. Add comments here or email me at rachel@rachelhauck.com to win Made of Honor by Marilynn Griffith.
Blessings!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Made of Honor Blog Tour
Marilynn Griffith is mom to a tribe of kids, wife to a very handsome deacon and blessed to be friends with some wonderful writers. She loves to read, write, speak and all things communication related.
She's the person at the family gatherings who is always either telling a story or listening to one! Before realizing she was a writer, life was a bit confusing. She tried everything from secretary to math tutor (that actually worked out pretty well). These days it's family, friends and church activities that keep Mary busy when she's not writing. And blogging.
Keep reading and find out more about Mary's book, Made of Honor. Sign my guest book for a drawing for a free book!
RH: Tell us about your current book?
MG: Dana Rose pledges to say "I won't" the next time she's asked to be in a wedding. Her weak will has turned her closet into cemetery for satin gowns from periwinkle to Pepto pink. After ten stints as bridesmaid, Dana thinks she's seen it all. Then she's fired, forced to turn her hobby into a business and faced with her prodigal brother, back-stabbing sis and Mr. Practically Perfect, the ex who not only married someone else, but opened the business of her dreams—across the street. There's that Maid of Honor thing too… And this time she can't say no. Will wedding #11 show Dana what's she's really made of?
RH: What inspired this story?
MG: I used to own a seasonal bath and body business. Steeple Hill rejected my first manuscript but they liked my voice. They asked my agent about me doing a chick lit. I didn't know what that was exactly, but the prospect of writing in first person sounded interesting, so I tried it and loved it. I also have had a lot of wonderful single friends over the years.
RH: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
MG: I'd love for readers of MADE OF HONOR to come away from the book knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God delights in them and loves them in an intimate way, despite whatever mess riddles their pasts. Christ stands waiting to embrace them as His bride.
RH: How do you balance writing with your "every day life?"
MG: I don't. LOL Really. I've long since given God that job. He called me to be a wife and mother and a writer. Sometimes (like a deadline week) that doesn't always look like I think it should, but God graced me with the family I was supposed to have. I try to keep the Word first place and keep the lines of communication open so that when things get off balance (too much work, not enough work) we can talk about it. When I try to stop writing to be Super Mom, my kids are like,"Go write something. You're cranky!"
RH: As a Christian Fiction Writer , what is the spiritual truth your book carries thematically?
MG: MADE OF HONOR is about seeing what you're really made of and knowing that God loves you anyway. This book is about a woman discovering that everyone, including herself, isn't quite what she thought and realizing that God still loves them all. Dana knows how to love, but she has to learn how to let her self be loved...both by God and the other people in her life.
RH: If someone said, "What blurb could I put on a t-shirt that would encapsulate the feel and tone and plot of your novel?"--how would you respond?
MG: MADE OF HONOR--Girlfriends, God and all the giggles in between!
RH: What is the one, all-encompassing, totally-vindicated secret of good writing that you made sure to employ in writing MADE OF HONOR?
MG: Secret? I don't know any. When you discover one let me know! LOL I just fell in love with the characters and tried to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Somewhere along the way, we got a book.
She's the person at the family gatherings who is always either telling a story or listening to one! Before realizing she was a writer, life was a bit confusing. She tried everything from secretary to math tutor (that actually worked out pretty well). These days it's family, friends and church activities that keep Mary busy when she's not writing. And blogging.
Keep reading and find out more about Mary's book, Made of Honor. Sign my guest book for a drawing for a free book!
RH: Tell us about your current book?
MG: Dana Rose pledges to say "I won't" the next time she's asked to be in a wedding. Her weak will has turned her closet into cemetery for satin gowns from periwinkle to Pepto pink. After ten stints as bridesmaid, Dana thinks she's seen it all. Then she's fired, forced to turn her hobby into a business and faced with her prodigal brother, back-stabbing sis and Mr. Practically Perfect, the ex who not only married someone else, but opened the business of her dreams—across the street. There's that Maid of Honor thing too… And this time she can't say no. Will wedding #11 show Dana what's she's really made of?
RH: What inspired this story?
MG: I used to own a seasonal bath and body business. Steeple Hill rejected my first manuscript but they liked my voice. They asked my agent about me doing a chick lit. I didn't know what that was exactly, but the prospect of writing in first person sounded interesting, so I tried it and loved it. I also have had a lot of wonderful single friends over the years.
RH: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
MG: I'd love for readers of MADE OF HONOR to come away from the book knowing that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that God delights in them and loves them in an intimate way, despite whatever mess riddles their pasts. Christ stands waiting to embrace them as His bride.
RH: How do you balance writing with your "every day life?"
MG: I don't. LOL Really. I've long since given God that job. He called me to be a wife and mother and a writer. Sometimes (like a deadline week) that doesn't always look like I think it should, but God graced me with the family I was supposed to have. I try to keep the Word first place and keep the lines of communication open so that when things get off balance (too much work, not enough work) we can talk about it. When I try to stop writing to be Super Mom, my kids are like,"Go write something. You're cranky!"
RH: As a Christian Fiction Writer , what is the spiritual truth your book carries thematically?
MG: MADE OF HONOR is about seeing what you're really made of and knowing that God loves you anyway. This book is about a woman discovering that everyone, including herself, isn't quite what she thought and realizing that God still loves them all. Dana knows how to love, but she has to learn how to let her self be loved...both by God and the other people in her life.
RH: If someone said, "What blurb could I put on a t-shirt that would encapsulate the feel and tone and plot of your novel?"--how would you respond?
MG: MADE OF HONOR--Girlfriends, God and all the giggles in between!
RH: What is the one, all-encompassing, totally-vindicated secret of good writing that you made sure to employ in writing MADE OF HONOR?
MG: Secret? I don't know any. When you discover one let me know! LOL I just fell in love with the characters and tried to fall deeper in love with Jesus. Somewhere along the way, we got a book.
RH: Who are your three favorite writers, and will you be sending them copies of MADE OF HONOR?
MG: Well, many of those folks are dead and probably wouldn't have been interested, but there are many writers who I respect who endorsed the book like Sharon Ewell Foster, Lisa Samson and Kristin Billerbeck.
RH: How can readers learn more about your books and get in contact with you?
MG: I can be contacted at marilynngriffith@gmail.com or through comments at my website http://www.marilynngriffith.com/.
Add a comment to win a free Made of Honor. All the names will be put in a hat and drawn for the winner.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Eclectic Blog
First I had to look up eclectic. Assorted is a synonym, so it works. I thought so.
Second, fun day. It's absolutely beautiful here. Sixty-one degrees on a windy, blue sky, sunny day. I met with my old Harris co-workers (they are now MediaSpan Software) because Richard is retiring - again. He retired from Harris four or five years ago, missed us and came back.
I first met Richard in '87 or '88 at a Connecticut newpaper. He was the calm, cool, production manager, I was the beautiful and gracious classified system installer and trainer who had no clue what she was doing. Just kidding. I knew what I was doing. Right, Teresa? Anway, Richard was then and is now one of the kindest men I've ever known. God's speed, Richard.
During lunch I caught up on all the news with Chuck, Dave, Hyer, Jim, Steve, et al. I didn't get to talk to Juli or Darryl or Jo or Ralph, Steve, Roy, Nancy, Kathy and Ann, but it was wonderful to see them. Of all the things I could say about Harris Publishing, this will always be true, my co-workers were the best. I miss them still.
Went shopping after that for a leather jacket, but only went to Macy's and they didn't have anything. Came home. Took a nap.
I didn't get any editing done, but I worked so long yesterday I needed a think day. Will work tomorrow.
I've been listening to Mike Bickle's series on the forerunner and the fasted lifestyle. Fasting of our time, food and money. He talks about how disruptive it is to give ourselves to God in a radical way. We are living in a prophetic time, we are a prophetic generation, many believe the generation before the Lord's return, and there is a call to radical, extravagant devotion to Jesus.
If we say Yes, we are blessed in the deeper things of God during this life and the one to come. If we say No and lock ourselves behind our safe religious traditions, we risk our hearts growing cold to the deeper things of God. We don't separate ourselves from His love, but we close the door to a greater awakening and walking in deeper revelation. Don't know about you guys, but I want a deeper revelation. The same ole same ole doesn't work any more.
But the radical, fasted lifestyle messes with our worlds. It's disruptive. It means eating less, spending less, sleeping less so we can get up or stay up for prayer. Worse, our pursuit disrupts the lives of those around us - our friends and familes.
"What are you doing? Giving thirty percent. You're being religious." Or "You're fasting? But this is a party." Or, "We don't need to sit around praying, we need to get out there and do something."
That last one's my favorite. One, I've never been in a crowded prayer meeting, have you? Well, not unless I'm at a conference.
In Matthew 11:19, Jesus is preaching and reminding the people the religious leaders said John the Baptist had a demon, and they accused Jesus of being a glutton and drunkard. Bible believing, Bible preaching people are going to be offended at the radical lifestyle and they are going to call us crazy, demonized, drunkards and all sorts of things. Our reputations will be ruin, perhaps.
Jesus tells us we will be reviled because He was reviled. But, we will have what can't be taken a way - a knowledge of the Beautiful man. An experience in the pleasures of God, IN THIS LIFE. And I believe, walking in divine power and authority.
I've concluded: Prayer is a must. Not bless Aunt Betty prayers, thought Lord, please bless Aunt Betty, but intercession. We cannot go on without it. We must pray the Word, believe the Word. We must dialog with God using His own words. It deepens our own understanding, our own revelation.
Giving, praying, fasting unlocks our hearts! Even our smallest effort. The writer of Hebrews understood this and challenges us. "Oh my stars, you guys still want milk? You could be eating steak by now. (Rachel Hauck translation.)
Are you struggling in your finances? GIVE! Are you succumbing to the same old sin over and over? FAST! Are you board with church and the current state of "her" affairs? PRAY!
Lookit, I'm on a journey to make this real in my heart and mind. I've made small steps. But I'm not looking to write a blog like this when I'm fifty. I want to be like Anna. And when I'm eighty, I want to walk with a renewed mind and heart under the anointing of the Holy Ghost living a life hidden in Jesus.
But see, that's another thing. This life is hidden. People may never, ever know how much you pray, give or fast. People may never recognize what a great writer I am (wink) but I have to settle in my heart I'm writing for an audience of one. It is my reasonable and exceptable service.
So, there's my eclectic blog. Peace out.
Second, fun day. It's absolutely beautiful here. Sixty-one degrees on a windy, blue sky, sunny day. I met with my old Harris co-workers (they are now MediaSpan Software) because Richard is retiring - again. He retired from Harris four or five years ago, missed us and came back.
I first met Richard in '87 or '88 at a Connecticut newpaper. He was the calm, cool, production manager, I was the beautiful and gracious classified system installer and trainer who had no clue what she was doing. Just kidding. I knew what I was doing. Right, Teresa? Anway, Richard was then and is now one of the kindest men I've ever known. God's speed, Richard.
During lunch I caught up on all the news with Chuck, Dave, Hyer, Jim, Steve, et al. I didn't get to talk to Juli or Darryl or Jo or Ralph, Steve, Roy, Nancy, Kathy and Ann, but it was wonderful to see them. Of all the things I could say about Harris Publishing, this will always be true, my co-workers were the best. I miss them still.
Went shopping after that for a leather jacket, but only went to Macy's and they didn't have anything. Came home. Took a nap.
I didn't get any editing done, but I worked so long yesterday I needed a think day. Will work tomorrow.
I've been listening to Mike Bickle's series on the forerunner and the fasted lifestyle. Fasting of our time, food and money. He talks about how disruptive it is to give ourselves to God in a radical way. We are living in a prophetic time, we are a prophetic generation, many believe the generation before the Lord's return, and there is a call to radical, extravagant devotion to Jesus.
If we say Yes, we are blessed in the deeper things of God during this life and the one to come. If we say No and lock ourselves behind our safe religious traditions, we risk our hearts growing cold to the deeper things of God. We don't separate ourselves from His love, but we close the door to a greater awakening and walking in deeper revelation. Don't know about you guys, but I want a deeper revelation. The same ole same ole doesn't work any more.
But the radical, fasted lifestyle messes with our worlds. It's disruptive. It means eating less, spending less, sleeping less so we can get up or stay up for prayer. Worse, our pursuit disrupts the lives of those around us - our friends and familes.
"What are you doing? Giving thirty percent. You're being religious." Or "You're fasting? But this is a party." Or, "We don't need to sit around praying, we need to get out there and do something."
That last one's my favorite. One, I've never been in a crowded prayer meeting, have you? Well, not unless I'm at a conference.
In Matthew 11:19, Jesus is preaching and reminding the people the religious leaders said John the Baptist had a demon, and they accused Jesus of being a glutton and drunkard. Bible believing, Bible preaching people are going to be offended at the radical lifestyle and they are going to call us crazy, demonized, drunkards and all sorts of things. Our reputations will be ruin, perhaps.
Jesus tells us we will be reviled because He was reviled. But, we will have what can't be taken a way - a knowledge of the Beautiful man. An experience in the pleasures of God, IN THIS LIFE. And I believe, walking in divine power and authority.
I've concluded: Prayer is a must. Not bless Aunt Betty prayers, thought Lord, please bless Aunt Betty, but intercession. We cannot go on without it. We must pray the Word, believe the Word. We must dialog with God using His own words. It deepens our own understanding, our own revelation.
Giving, praying, fasting unlocks our hearts! Even our smallest effort. The writer of Hebrews understood this and challenges us. "Oh my stars, you guys still want milk? You could be eating steak by now. (Rachel Hauck translation.)
Are you struggling in your finances? GIVE! Are you succumbing to the same old sin over and over? FAST! Are you board with church and the current state of "her" affairs? PRAY!
Lookit, I'm on a journey to make this real in my heart and mind. I've made small steps. But I'm not looking to write a blog like this when I'm fifty. I want to be like Anna. And when I'm eighty, I want to walk with a renewed mind and heart under the anointing of the Holy Ghost living a life hidden in Jesus.
But see, that's another thing. This life is hidden. People may never, ever know how much you pray, give or fast. People may never recognize what a great writer I am (wink) but I have to settle in my heart I'm writing for an audience of one. It is my reasonable and exceptable service.
So, there's my eclectic blog. Peace out.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Lessons from Texas
During last nights Rose Bowl for the National Title, Texas was down to USC going into the fourth quarter. But Vince Young, the Texas quaterback would not give up. With under a minute in the game, down 33 to 38, he ran in for a touchdown, then for a 2 point conversion. Texas won 41 to 38.
The quarterback for USC, Matt Leinart, said, "I still think we're a better football team, they just made the plays in the end."
Isn't that what makes a better football team? They make the plays in the end? And I do mean end. Texas was loosing by two touch downs with 6 minutes left in the game. And until the last 2 minutes, USC scored every possession.
So, what's the lesson? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!
I actually have so many thoughts about writing, friends and being violent about the things that steal my affection from Jesus I can't actually put them in cohesive words. Some, I can't post here 'cause it's personal, but if you find one of my other blogs, you might find it there. Haha.
I think I'm in a place where the Lord is weaning me off people for some things and drawing me closer to Him. After all, I've only been praying to be more abandoned and whole hearted for about five years now.
Well, I'm on a tight deadline this month. So, better get to writing. I think I have a Fire Dweller leadership meeting this afternoon and I'd really like to go to Spinning, but I don't think I'll have time. This month is about deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.
I lead worship last night, and will again on Friday, Sunday and next Wed. Man, the band sounded awesome last night! We did Misty Edward's new song, Favorite One. It was awesome, but it's a soaker song. We had to sing it through a dozen times before this deep anointing came.
Okay, to work.
The quarterback for USC, Matt Leinart, said, "I still think we're a better football team, they just made the plays in the end."
Isn't that what makes a better football team? They make the plays in the end? And I do mean end. Texas was loosing by two touch downs with 6 minutes left in the game. And until the last 2 minutes, USC scored every possession.
So, what's the lesson? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!
I actually have so many thoughts about writing, friends and being violent about the things that steal my affection from Jesus I can't actually put them in cohesive words. Some, I can't post here 'cause it's personal, but if you find one of my other blogs, you might find it there. Haha.
I think I'm in a place where the Lord is weaning me off people for some things and drawing me closer to Him. After all, I've only been praying to be more abandoned and whole hearted for about five years now.
Well, I'm on a tight deadline this month. So, better get to writing. I think I have a Fire Dweller leadership meeting this afternoon and I'd really like to go to Spinning, but I don't think I'll have time. This month is about deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.
I lead worship last night, and will again on Friday, Sunday and next Wed. Man, the band sounded awesome last night! We did Misty Edward's new song, Favorite One. It was awesome, but it's a soaker song. We had to sing it through a dozen times before this deep anointing came.
Okay, to work.
Monday, January 02, 2006
A sigh of relief
Ohio State won the Fiest Bowl. Beat Notre Dame 34 to 20. Shew. I can breathe easy now. Matt and Jodi came over to watch with us.
Yesterday was fun... sorta family day. We had planned lunch with a new couple in church Matthew and Elisa, and when I showed up at church, Reuben and Allison Maher were there.
So, after a hearty lunch and good fellowship with Matthew and Elisa (and me winning Apples to Apples again, thank you) we got together with the Maher's and Ramlall's. Reuben and Allison's daughter, Kaityn, turns two in a few days, so we went to dinner at Carabbas then back to Grandpa and Grandma Ramlall's for cake and balloons. Kaitlyn is very cute and very smart. We enjoyed hanging out with every one.
Today I did a few chores and edited some before the game. Working on getting Lost in Nashvegas done, done.
Also, walked and had a prayer time, read my Bible. Working on keeping up with regular times with the Lord so that my heart is awakened. I was praying and reading out of Isaiah 1. Soon I hope to get my keyboard back from Lynn Coleman so I can start singing scripture. Love to do that.
Blessings!
Yesterday was fun... sorta family day. We had planned lunch with a new couple in church Matthew and Elisa, and when I showed up at church, Reuben and Allison Maher were there.
So, after a hearty lunch and good fellowship with Matthew and Elisa (and me winning Apples to Apples again, thank you) we got together with the Maher's and Ramlall's. Reuben and Allison's daughter, Kaityn, turns two in a few days, so we went to dinner at Carabbas then back to Grandpa and Grandma Ramlall's for cake and balloons. Kaitlyn is very cute and very smart. We enjoyed hanging out with every one.
Today I did a few chores and edited some before the game. Working on getting Lost in Nashvegas done, done.
Also, walked and had a prayer time, read my Bible. Working on keeping up with regular times with the Lord so that my heart is awakened. I was praying and reading out of Isaiah 1. Soon I hope to get my keyboard back from Lynn Coleman so I can start singing scripture. Love to do that.
Blessings!
Friday, December 30, 2005
Stuck on a theme
About pursuing Jesus. Taking a walk today under a deep blue sky and a golden sun, I thought how we spend time with God so much out of duty. Ok, well, I do. I don't mean to, but I'll spend time in prayer and the Word then sorta be like, "That's done. I don't have to feel guilty."
Sad. We so easily get into a religious rut. Or feel if we spend time with Jesus, all should go well. And if we don't, look out. What a crock. God is good all the time, faithful even when we are not. On the good days and the bad.
So, how do we get out of the "quiet time/devotional" mind set? It's so duty oriented and well, religious. Twenty five years ago I read Brother Lawrence's "Practicing The Presence of God" and it impacted me then, and all these years later, I still feel on the other side of his philosophy. Basically, Jesus is with us all the time and we can fellowship with Him any time we want.
Colossians 1:27 says that's this is mystery of the ages, Christ in us, the Hope of Glory!
It's not about spending 15 minutes reading through a devo book, or 30 minutes reading the Word, it's about a heart connect. And as He fans the fading flames of my heart, I want to spend time with Him. Then as I go about my daily tasks, I'm aware of His presence. Of His hand on my heart.
Look, I'm a start-in-the-flesh-and-end-in-the-Spirit if need be. I do honestly believe we have to set apart time to spend with the Lord or it won't happen. And the only way to go deeper, to swim in the River of Life is to BE. Eating of the Tree of Life is a planned, determined pursuit.
Yet, we cannot boast in our schedule or our regular times of prayer and fasting. Then THAT becomes our source and not Him. We are so quick to go to the rules and not the Ruler.
Why am I on this? Cause a lot is happening in the world. And I do not want to be offended at God when it all comes down. When more and more of His judgements are unleased on the earth. I do not want my heart to grow cold. The Bible is clear. End time judgements will cause the nations to rage against the Lamb. Think about it. The Tsunami, the wave of hurricanes. The Iraqi War. The Civil War of Ideas going on in our nation right now. All could very well speak of judgements. Judgements designed to grab our attention and bring the prodigals home and cause the wicked to repent.
You ask how could a good God do such things? Simple. He sacrificed His own Son for us. Such a great sacrifice deserves such a great wrath against those who refuse to surrender to Love. Think about it. What if you gave up your kid for the salvation of, say, your neighbors. Never mind the entire human race. And when it came time for you neighbors to accept the price of the sacrifice, they scoffed and said, "Naw, we got a better way. Your kid didn't do anything for us." Off they go, on their own way. Imagine the movements of your heart. First, you would say, "Please, please accept while there's time."
But then, eventually, if they neglect so great a salvation, they have to pay the price with their own life.
So, we pursue Him because His love is immeasureable, never ending, unconditional. Our cold, weak human hearts need His fire. We want to endure to the end. And it begins now. Today.
Sad. We so easily get into a religious rut. Or feel if we spend time with Jesus, all should go well. And if we don't, look out. What a crock. God is good all the time, faithful even when we are not. On the good days and the bad.
So, how do we get out of the "quiet time/devotional" mind set? It's so duty oriented and well, religious. Twenty five years ago I read Brother Lawrence's "Practicing The Presence of God" and it impacted me then, and all these years later, I still feel on the other side of his philosophy. Basically, Jesus is with us all the time and we can fellowship with Him any time we want.
Colossians 1:27 says that's this is mystery of the ages, Christ in us, the Hope of Glory!
It's not about spending 15 minutes reading through a devo book, or 30 minutes reading the Word, it's about a heart connect. And as He fans the fading flames of my heart, I want to spend time with Him. Then as I go about my daily tasks, I'm aware of His presence. Of His hand on my heart.
Look, I'm a start-in-the-flesh-and-end-in-the-Spirit if need be. I do honestly believe we have to set apart time to spend with the Lord or it won't happen. And the only way to go deeper, to swim in the River of Life is to BE. Eating of the Tree of Life is a planned, determined pursuit.
Yet, we cannot boast in our schedule or our regular times of prayer and fasting. Then THAT becomes our source and not Him. We are so quick to go to the rules and not the Ruler.
Why am I on this? Cause a lot is happening in the world. And I do not want to be offended at God when it all comes down. When more and more of His judgements are unleased on the earth. I do not want my heart to grow cold. The Bible is clear. End time judgements will cause the nations to rage against the Lamb. Think about it. The Tsunami, the wave of hurricanes. The Iraqi War. The Civil War of Ideas going on in our nation right now. All could very well speak of judgements. Judgements designed to grab our attention and bring the prodigals home and cause the wicked to repent.
You ask how could a good God do such things? Simple. He sacrificed His own Son for us. Such a great sacrifice deserves such a great wrath against those who refuse to surrender to Love. Think about it. What if you gave up your kid for the salvation of, say, your neighbors. Never mind the entire human race. And when it came time for you neighbors to accept the price of the sacrifice, they scoffed and said, "Naw, we got a better way. Your kid didn't do anything for us." Off they go, on their own way. Imagine the movements of your heart. First, you would say, "Please, please accept while there's time."
But then, eventually, if they neglect so great a salvation, they have to pay the price with their own life.
So, we pursue Him because His love is immeasureable, never ending, unconditional. Our cold, weak human hearts need His fire. We want to endure to the end. And it begins now. Today.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
We're home
We flew home from Indiana yesterday. I listened to songs on my new IPod on the flight home. Santa was kind to me.
We had a great time with our family and it seems like the time went by so fast. I miss everyone already, but am happy to be home. I still need to unpack, but gee, the stack of cards and gifts that came while we were gone needed my attention.
We had a great time with our family and it seems like the time went by so fast. I miss everyone already, but am happy to be home. I still need to unpack, but gee, the stack of cards and gifts that came while we were gone needed my attention.
YYY
I've been thinking more about living full on for Jesus. Surrendering more and more of my life, heart and mind to him. This is what I conclude. Get as close to the Fire as I can. Set my heart before Him, knowing He will take care of the rest.
Psalm 90 says He will accomplish what concerns me. This is my prayer. Take my weak, cold heart and fan the embers that smolder there. Turn my simple desire to be more like You, to know You more, to become a deep, deep well into a roaring passion that cannot be quenched. It's impossible for me to want Him more unless He draws me. So, I beg Him to draw me. Otherwise, I cannot run.
My goals for 2006 are simple. Pursue Jesus. Write. Hopefully get a new book contract since my second WestBow book will be turned in July 31.
Man, do you ever just feel so inadequate? Sheez. Thank goodness, Jesus is completely adequate and He lends Himself to me.
I also want 2006 to be a year where I abound in love. Do the First Corithians 13 thing. Love is patient, kind, keeps no record of wrong, bears all, believes all, hopes all. Never fails. It's the greatest.
Grace and Peace to you all.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Christmas Eve, Eve
We had a nice day. The sun warmed the day to a brisk 46. Snow still covers the ground in patches, but I hope I get to see some snow fall before we head home on the 28th.
Two of Tony's brothers, Dave and Jim came over tonight with their spouses, Sandy and Vickie. And Jim's grandson, Lucas. We ate. Yep. We ate. Mom made gumbo which was fab. And Vickie made corn chowder that was fab, fab. She also brought chocolate dipped strawberries and apricots.
It's always good to laugh and reminisce with family, isn't it?
Wrapped Tony's presents. He got quite a few from Santa Me, but they're boring. I can't help that. He requested boring stuff and could not come up with any exciting gift ideas. I'm going to have to remedy this next year. He's done this two years in a row, so next year, he's getting a new PDA or something. Oh, an electric guitar!
I've been thinking a lot about my life. Realistically, I've lived half of it. I'm 45. I'm not disappointed with my life up 'til now. I've been very blessed by the Lord. But, I really want the last 45 to count.
Luke 2 tells the story of Anna, a widow, who gave herself to prayer and fasting.
"And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers. At that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem."
Somehow, I want to be in that place, to have an eternal mind set. It's about living not for this life, but for the one to come. This life, as we say among our friends, is an internship for the next. Yet, it's so easy to get caught up in day-to-day pursuits. Good pursuits. But, what is there value in eternity?
Look, I'm not talking about quitting my job and sitting in the church sanctuary for eight hours. I mean, I'd do it if the Lord called, but I know I'm a mixture of a contemplative and a writer.
I'm talking about frivolous things like television or movies or hamburgers. So I miss a few shows or miss a few meals to fast, so what? So what? In all of eternity, so what?
What if I bite my tongue and don't defend myself, or don't give my honest, yet negative opinion of others. What if I esteem others higher than myself? What if I give up sleep to spend extra time in prayer, or choose to give that hundred dollars instead of buying DVDs or shoes?
I have so much. I am so blessed. If I had half of what I have, I would say the same. Yet, I am desperate to exchange my stock in this life for stock in eternity. Finding "eternity bucks" wherever I can.
I have control over my affections, money and time. How am I spending them in this life so they are not utterly destroyed in the next? Will the things I'm spending them on withstand the fire of God? Are they imperishable.
Paul understood this. First Corithians 15:53 he says, "For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality."
I think he's saying, "Stop thinking in temporal terms, but eternal terms." How do I do this? I'm not sure. Prayer. Dialog with the Father. Asking. Discipline. Starting some where, knowing I'll end up where I want to be. Not of myself, but because He's faithful.
So, 2006 will be that focus. More prayer, more Word. Fasting. Budgeting my expenditures of affection, money and time. And words.
All to Jesus, I surrender. All to Him I freely give.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
A friend went on to be with Jesus today
Mom just called. A long time family friend passed away, Bill Hamilton. A family man, a military man, I first met Bill the fall of '74 in Homestead, Florida. His wife became one of my mom's dear friends, his sons long time friends of my brother's. And of mine.
I can't think of those days in Homestead and not remember Bill. He taught me to drive stick shift Thanksgiving day, ' 76. We were having a big church family picnic in our yard and some how there arose a yam emergency. Bill was tasked to run to the store for more.
Firing up the old, old, really old church truck, Bill asked me to tag along. Not many, if any stores were open on Thanksgiving Day, and the south Florida streets were quiet and barren. We found a convenient store, bought the needed yams, and headed home. Only with me behind the wheel. Bill had a wild idea to teach me to drive stick shift. In the old, old, very old truck. With three on the tree.
Fifteen and unsure of driving, let alone clutching and shifting, Bill's patiently taught me the basics of manual transmission driving and in a reasonable amount of time, I got us home. Though, I did sit at one traffic light for about 15 minutes. No traffic. No hassle, but I was sweating a little.
Bill treated my brothers, sister and I with kindness, always generous and encouraging. I'll miss him. But he's with Dad now, in the Cloud of Witnesses, no longer in pain, but in glory.
David, Joe, Nancy, I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
Air craft carriers should have technical, sceintific names that bolster confidence. " Yes, this bucket of bolts will stay in the air."
Or at least. "We can make it from one cost to the other," like Eastern or American West.
Or, "We can make it to the contenients." Conteniental.
Airlines that sound like fast food, Taca Airlines, or a componant of a music course, Song, or like the next Crayola Crayon color, Jet Blue, don't inspire confidence. Am I the only one?
But Song was great. Little TV monitors in front of all the seats. Nice food selection, though you have to buy it, at least you have a choice.
Indianapolis is cold, but the snow is melting. At least we got to see some. Can you believe Christmas is 3 days away?
Blessings to you all.
I can't think of those days in Homestead and not remember Bill. He taught me to drive stick shift Thanksgiving day, ' 76. We were having a big church family picnic in our yard and some how there arose a yam emergency. Bill was tasked to run to the store for more.
Firing up the old, old, really old church truck, Bill asked me to tag along. Not many, if any stores were open on Thanksgiving Day, and the south Florida streets were quiet and barren. We found a convenient store, bought the needed yams, and headed home. Only with me behind the wheel. Bill had a wild idea to teach me to drive stick shift. In the old, old, very old truck. With three on the tree.
Fifteen and unsure of driving, let alone clutching and shifting, Bill's patiently taught me the basics of manual transmission driving and in a reasonable amount of time, I got us home. Though, I did sit at one traffic light for about 15 minutes. No traffic. No hassle, but I was sweating a little.
Bill treated my brothers, sister and I with kindness, always generous and encouraging. I'll miss him. But he's with Dad now, in the Cloud of Witnesses, no longer in pain, but in glory.
David, Joe, Nancy, I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
YYY
Tony and I are in Indianapolis. We flew the long way, by way of JFK, but we are hear. Our leg from Orlando to JFK was on Song Airlines, a Delta Operation. Normally, my policy is I don't fly airlines that sound like fast food chains or the latest brand of butter. Air craft carriers should have technical, sceintific names that bolster confidence. " Yes, this bucket of bolts will stay in the air."
Or at least. "We can make it from one cost to the other," like Eastern or American West.
Or, "We can make it to the contenients." Conteniental.
Airlines that sound like fast food, Taca Airlines, or a componant of a music course, Song, or like the next Crayola Crayon color, Jet Blue, don't inspire confidence. Am I the only one?
But Song was great. Little TV monitors in front of all the seats. Nice food selection, though you have to buy it, at least you have a choice.
Indianapolis is cold, but the snow is melting. At least we got to see some. Can you believe Christmas is 3 days away?
Blessings to you all.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Brother Yun, the heavenly man
Lest we think our lives are hard, lest we doubt the grace and power of God...Here's an excerpt from Brother Yun, on trail in China for "opposing the government" for preaching the gospel. The time is the early 80's, and Yun is in prison and now facing a judge.
The judge fell into a furious rage. His eyes bulged as he banged the bench and pointed at me. "I order you to kneel down before me and repeat the prayer you said on the tape."
Several guards with batons came and beat my legs to make me kneel down. They screamed, "Kneel down! Kneel down!"
At that moment, the power of the Lord filled me (RH: sounds like Mathew 10 stuff.) A voice spoke to my heart. "Dont be afraid! Be srong in the Lord. Even if ten thousand enemies surround you, rest in Jesus. Be bold and courageous in the Lord!"
As the guards continued to beat and kick me, I suddenly shouted at the judge in a louds voice, "By what authority do you order a servant of God to knew down before you? You have no right! Your questions are unreasonable. Now, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I command all of you to kneel down. I will lay hands on you and ask the Lord to forgive your sins."
They didn't kneel, and Brother Yun knew his struggle with the courts would be a long one. He writes, "They had used the most barbarous tortures their minds could invent, but had not been able to make me say a single incriminating word (to confess his crimes.)"
But miraculously, Yun was only sentenced to 4 years in prison, hard labor. Not life or death as he was told.
Brother Yun's story is full of heart breaking tales of hunger, torture, seeing his wife and children suffer. Even his mother suffered for Yun's "crimes." His only crime was preaching Jesus. But yet, let me say. Brother Yun saw and experience many divine things and miracles. Fasted 74 days without food or water. Revival in the prison camps. Healings and demonic deliverances. The book of Acts.
In 1989, I visited Toledo, Spain and one of the ancient churches had chains and shackles nailed to the outside wall. It was a visual reminder to the early Christians to remember to pray for the brothers and sisters in Christ who were in chains, suffering for Christ name.
In our American world, we bark about this liberty or that, but in reality, we have all liberties. People may not like us, but we pray when we want, talk about Jesus when we want, and freely move about the nation. I haven't heard of anyone being beaten and told to bow before a court office and pray a prayer of worship.
I'm so thankful to the Lord for our liberties. Oh, please, may they remain. But if you have the heart, please pray with me for the Lord to continue to give grace to our brothers and sisters in chains. And to work might miracles on their behalf.
Paul wrotes to the Colossians, "Here is my greeting in my own handwriting--PAUL. Remember my chains. May the grace of God be with you."
Friday, December 16, 2005
I need a support group
Clearly, I'm laundry challenged....
This is a load I started on Saturday, topped with the load from last night. It's clean. It's dry. It's just booorrrring! I'm trying to talk Tony into taking laundry back again. Time to pray and fast...
Wink.
This is a load I started on Saturday, topped with the load from last night. It's clean. It's dry. It's just booorrrring! I'm trying to talk Tony into taking laundry back again. Time to pray and fast...
Wink.
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