Random things on my mind

I'm taking a break today from the Song of Solomon study to just give random thoughts. Things that make me laugh, things that make me go "hum...."

At the gym Monday night and our instructor has us stepping for 3 minutes, then jump roping for one. You cannot imagine how hard it is to jump rope for one minute. Six year old girls are heroines to me. One of my "classmates" was having a hard night. Do this wrong, that wrong. Like we toss this little pointy ball around for fun, but it bounces all over the place if you don't catch it. We're supposed to toss under handed, but she's tossing over hand, just little things.

Finally, we get to working on abs, which calls for sitting on those huge, colorful balls. You've seen them on comercials, right. Well, Leigh, I'll call her, gets this real squishy green one. Instructor says, "there's not enough air in that one."

"That's ok," says Leigh.

All's well until the end of the ab workout. We're stretching our backs over the ball, hands over head, leaning out those ab muscles. I hate that exercise, so I'm sitting up, watching and waiting.

Suddenly, Leigh rolls off her ball. THUD! and rolls around the floor, hands still stretched over her head. OMG, it was so funny. She gets up, smiling and the girl on the other side of her laughs.

I laugh. Ok, she's fine, has a new ball, we're moving onto pushups. I CANNOT stop laughing. I duck my face to the floor and will myself not to see her rolling off the ball, hitting the floor and rolling a few more times.

Snort. Suck it up. Ten minutes later, class is over. I walk with Leigh out to our cars. Get in mine, crank the engine, crank the air and let 'er rip! I laughed all the way home - ten minutes, maybe more.

It still makes me laugh. She was so cute and funny. Oh well, guess you had to be there.

What's up with McDonald's these days? I stopped in for a hamburger on my way to the RWA meeting last night, after Spinning, and there was a posting on the regitster: "Average service time, 45 seconds."

In what universe? I waited two minutes just to be asked, "May I take your order!" Waited three more minutes for a hamburger! How does that average to 45 seconds? I didn't see any one waited on in less than 5 minutes.

How does the register know, btw? I didn't see her punching buttons when she stopped and started my order.

This is what gets me most. Person in front of me orders and the food is not ready. The counter person doesn't go ahead and take my order, get it in the system. Nooooo. She stands there with her hands on her hips waiting for the first order! Stands there. Waiting.

Now, I'm a McDonald's alum! We were never, ever allowed to stand there and wait.

McDonald's, listen to me! Go back to the bin method of serving food. Have it all ready. Forget the microwave method and just cook it, serve it up and have your people run and get it. Now that the drinks are out from behind the counter, you should be able to have record service times.

I simply don't see how this new method works. Go back to the bins! I'm done with that rant now. Sorry.

Off to write. Pray for me. ;)

Song of Solomon 1:5 and an update

... I am black but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon.

I am dark...

The Bride has an acute awareness of her sin. She realizes before the only One who is white, she is dark. Even her best deeds on her best day does not make her white enough to stand next to her Beloved. She has a reality check on her own weaknesses. But, she possesses a willing spirit. A willing heart. She's not rebellious toward God, but a sincere one with weakness. Recognizing her own humanity begins the journey of humility so when her passions are ignited she's not caught in pride.

... but lovely.

Her willing spirit, the "Yes!" in her heart confirm her sincere intentions towards God. She's lovely to Him because of the righteousness of Jesus, her Beloved. She doesn't have to be perfect or mature to be lovely before Him. Just willing, unable to continue in sin once she recognizes it in her life. "Yes!" I want to do your will, Father. I want to take my place as Your Son's bride.

... Like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon.

The tents of Kedar were grayish black and common in the areas outside of Jerusalem. They were made from the dark skins of wild goats. So, in the Bride's cry to the Father about her humans condition, she recognizes that her own "flesh" is dark.

But, she's grown to understand the inward working of God's grace. Solomon's curtains were bright white, and hung in the holy place in the temple. They were not seen in the outer court, but hidden from the common person. This speaks of the beauty that is in the Bride, in YOU, that only God sees. There's beauty in the hidden places. Don't be afraid of the hiddenness. People will see the outer, dark part of you. Of me. But God knows and sees the inner beauty. He will take care of the rest.

You are not defined by your weakness, nor your strengths. You are defined by Jesus, the worthy one.

. . . Dark, but lovely am I. Dark, but lovely... dark by lovely.

YYYYY

The weekend "Raising the Bar" young women's conference went well. The Lord visited us and blessed the young women and set a plumb line in their lives. We really challenged them to set there standard by Jesus, not by the world. Be who He says they are, not what the world says they are. Let's respect ourselves. Let's overcome this two cleavage society. What's up with that? Let's be woman, real woman, and fulfill our destiny. All of creation longs for us to be who He called us to be.

We are not wanna-be men. Let's stop trying to be like them and be us! We are naturally modest. Naturally nurturing and loving. We love our babies. We don't abort them. "And ladies," I said, "We got it, they want it, let's keep it lock up for a ring, date and wedding vows!"

Cassie led worship and was wonderful. Saturday she started a contemplative time at 8:30 and the anointing was so strong my eyes watered when I walked in the sanctuary.

So, all in all, a grand time. I love my young teen girls. I'm just getting to know them, but they are a good group and I'm excited for what God has for them.

Well, I need to get writing. Be blessed.

Song of Solomon One thru Four

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon's. May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine...

The Beloved is crying out to the Father, I want to know the intimate touches of Your Son's Word on my heart. In today's terms, I want to have a fresh revelation of Jesus. I want to read the Word and find Him there, daily. A new kiss, a deeper touch on my heart, mind, will and emotions.

The love of Jesus is ultimately better than wine, or in our case, the riches of this world. Better than fame and recognition by men. We must know the love that is sweeter, more desireable than our greatest ambition. The love that is worth it all. This is the love of Jesus. It changes us inside and out, even our emotional chemistry.

...Your oils have a pleasing fragrance. Your name is like purified oil poured out. Therefore the maidens love you.

The Beloved, you and me, declare Jesus is the fragrance of our lives. Pure oil is soothing, healing and takes away the roughness. It has value. What are the things that have value in your life? The love of Jesus is far above, far greater.

No wonder people love you. Jesus, you are worth loving! Rightly do they love you, those who love you!

...Draw me after you and let us run together! The King has brought me into His chambers.

Jesus, draw me into the intimate place you've already prepared for my by the cross. I cannot run, I cannot DO unless I first learn to be still in your presence. Unless I am comfortable in the secret place. Draw me, woo me, I will go with You. You can see and have all of me. Even the dark places of my heart.

And when I'm ready, so the word and I'll run with you. I'll partner with You as You do the Father's will to see His kingdom established on earth as it is in heaven! But, I must run from the chamber. Otherwise, I'll grow weary and fail. Otherwise, it will be all about me, my name and my fame. But, it must be about You! Only You.

... We will rejoice in you and be glad. We will extol your love more than wine (or whine in some of our cases.) Rightly do they love you!

Yes, Lord, I want your love to sustain me, to make me smile, to make me happy, to be the source of my inspiration and peace. You love me. So I love you. Oh, good going all you who love the Lord. Never give up. Never turn back. His love is the treasure worth pursuing!

Dark, but lovely

I saw this woman at the 7-11. Long beautiful blonde hair, slender build, nice figure, smartly dressed in a cute skirt and strappy mules, French manicure on her fingers and toes. Observing her while I filled my gas tank, her hair shielded her face, but I thought, "She must be really pretty."

Then, she turned around. Her face was plain and her features uneven. I had to fight staring because the face did not fit the form. She reminded me of the type of people I'd seen on Extreme Makeover.

It's so odd how we define beauty. I expected a Christie Brinkley face to go with the Jennifer Aniston body (sans the fake boobs.) How often to do judge by outward appearances? How often do we see in part? The Bible says man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

Don't you wish we could really see hearts, I mean clearly see?

We love the beautiful people, yet how many of them have fake, puffed up hearts? And how many of the not-so-beautiful-people have simple, pure hearts?

Every whip lash, every fist to the face, every thorn pushed into His crown, every hair of his beard plucked out, every nail, the weight of anguish was endured for love! For the sake of real beauty. He did it for the unlovely inside, for the unlovely outside. Don't we all find ourselves in an unlovely place some time in our life?

Yet, Jesus said, "You are worthy." And He proved it. But we can't have worthiness or beauty or freedom outside of Him. It's impossible. He's the only one EVER who died for sins, who died for love.

"I am dark, but lovely." Song of Solomon 1:5

I'm My Beloved's, He Is Mine

This verse jumped out at me as I read Song of Solomon this morning. "I'm my Beloved's and He is mine." I'm not going to comment. Just say the verse to yourself over and over today, let it soak in, go down to the depths of your soul. There is NO force like the force of one who is confident in love.

"I'm my Beloved's and He is mine!"

Writing is back on track, thanks to all who prayed. I spent the weekend editing and rewriting, then caught up with it yesterday. But, I still struggled with doubts. Am I on the right track? Am I bogging the story down? Do I need this scene? Is the story even funny? It felt so serious to me. So, a friend said, "Send it to me." She knew I just wanted an overall critique, not a line by line crit. This is the first and a half draft after all.

She emailed me this morning that she loved it and it was very REAL (another concern) and hilarious. She's having her sister read it, too, for feedback. Thank you, Chris!

Went to Spinning last night, then home to work some more and watch Gilmore Girls. You know, I'm wondering if they are going to wind the show down, maybe this or next is the last season. I'll be really mad if Rory breaks up with Logan, or Logan breaks up with her. He is rather impetuous, though. (What was my post the other day about wasting time and emotion on things that don't matter?! Hum. . . )

Tony is doing well, thanks for asking. The dogs are also doing well, but Pal is annoying as always. For those of you who know him, big surprise, eh? But, he's cute and loyal and loving so we endure. Red is still a fat cat, but a cutie.

The Young Women's conference "Raising the Bar" is Friday and Saturday. I've been reading Song of Solomon to prepare for my message on Saturday night. Chapter 2 verse 15 is going to be key. "Catch the foxes that spoil the vineyard."

This is a cry of the Bride's to her Beloved to catch the lies, deceit and craftiness of the world that takes away from her wholehearted devotion. Young women today are being led astray by the lies of the world, the media, Hollywood, feminism. Our heart cry is, "Lord, catch these things in our lives. Expose them. We want to be true women of virtue and integrity."

Anyway, that's the spring board for my message.

Well, must work. Lunch with Allison today and need to shop for my baskets for the conference. Peace.

This was so cool. . .

Walking into the gym last night, completely NOT feeling like 80 minutes of sports cardio, but pressing on, when a guy on the ellipticals calls out to me, "Ohio State."

I stopped. He wore a Beat Michigan shirt in Ohio State colors. We start chatting.

"When did you graduate?" I ask. Like I never meet anyone who graduated in my time.

"Eighty-five," he said.

"Me, too! Were you in a frat?"

"Fiji," he said.

"OMG, I was a Phi Mu! I knew Bill Gamble pretty well." He married one of my sorority sisters, Twila. In fact, she was instrumental in me joining Phi Mu in the first place. When I got my bid, she came up to the apartment to give it to me. I think she was with Maureen O'Brien. Mo - was that you???

"Yeah, Bill. He was a friend."

Then we started talking about Ohio State, football, a few people we knew, then about what he does, what I do, etc. His name is Patrick and he's an anesthesiologist at Palm Bay Hospital. Isn't that weird? An engineer I would expect in these parts because of Harris and Gruman and Rockwell, but a doctor?

Maybe not a big deal to you, but Ohio State is a big place, the Greek system is big, or was in my day, and it's been 20 years! I thought it was pretty cool. God kissing my heart. . . cause He knows I like stuff like that.

Great story on Oprah yesterday how Faith Hill heard songs from a new songwriter, a 36 year-old stay at home Mom and fell in love with her songs! Her album was done and she said, "Wait, we're going back in and recording three of this woman's songs!" The title song, Fireflies, is the woman's song. Pretty cool.

Go for your dreams. But really, keep you heart close to the beat of Jesus. The days are dark. The time is drawing near to the end of the age. Think eternity, think eternity.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Late Getting Started

It's Monday, going on one o'clock. I'm late getting started today! I had to blog for Faithchick, so hop on over to www.faithchick.com and check it out. I can't remember what I wrote, but I'm sure it's brilliant!

Writing today, Sports Cardio at 5:00, then more writing. The Young Women's conference, "Raising The Bar" is this weekend, so I need to prepare for that. Someone gave me $200 yesterday to make two baskets for give aways. I was excited and very grateful to this generous family!

I'm speaking on Saturday night, doing a walk through Song of Solomon. We need to get a hold of how much we are loved, how much God is for us, how rooted and grounded we can be. Getting a grip on this amazing love does help us with our earthly appetites that can be out of control, and our emotions. The love of Jesus can actually change our emotional chemistry. I know it's done that for me. But it's more than just knowing it, it's pursing it, dwelling on it, meditating, singing the Word, going deep. Takes time. . . I think I've said that before.

But everything good in life takes time.

So, I have a busy week and want to keep up writing. I did a no-no and started back with chapter one and reworked my story. I just needed to be assured of my foundation cause I didn't like where the story was going. I had someone tell me the story had structural problems, so I let that bother me for awhile, but shoved it out of my head. It couldn't be too bad if it sold, right? Well, I'm plowing ahead.

I have this verse taped to my computer desk, "The things impossible with men are possible with God!" Luke 18:27. Man, I love that and to know that POSSIBLE God loves me!

What a great day to be alive!

Living at the foot of the cross

Tony and I went to lunch with a new, young couple at church, Mattthew and Elisa, 23. They are getting married next month, but are down here working. She lives with his parents and he's holding down their soon to be newlywed apartment.

Over stromboli's and hot subs, we talked about the Lord and what He's doing today. Shared our testimonies, in brief, and I remember thinking how odd it is that I feel so comfortable with "kids" half my age. It felt completely normal and perfect to be with them. I'd rather be with twenty-somethings most of the time than people my own age.

But you know, it's not the age. It's their heart. Their passion. They want to go for Jesus. Their idea of a fun time, hanging out? Worshipping and praying. That's awesome. That's what Tony and I want.

As we left the restuarant, Tony said to me, "That's what we need, their zeal."

They need our wisdom and experience. Without each other, what we have is half as effective. Zeal without wisdom and experience (these two had a lot of wisdom, but at 23 you only have so much experience) can be dangerous. Wisdom and experience without zeal is a waste.

I'm so glad the Lord brought them to NCF! They have such pure, hungry hearts. Another thing for us older, more experience ones to note. We get weary and bitter. How many times have I heard myself or others who've been around say, "Yeah, we tried that, didn't work."

I'm going for Jesus. I want to be like Mary the Devoted.

Worked on the Country Princess yesterday and last night. I just have to slow down and think, weave my story, trust in Jesus. When I was coordinating a big confernce in 2003, I'd wake up overwhelmed and panicked. I'd pray, "Lord, this is Yours. If You don't do it, it won't happen." Peace would wash over me and so far, Houston 2003 is my favorite conference. Thank you, Jesus.

So, I pray the same about my books. Jesus, if You don't do it, it won't happen. I mean, I'll type, You write. (grin.) Think I'll do a little of that now.

I leave you with this phrase from The Dixie Dictionary: living at the foot of the cross - phr - religious conversion after a narrow escape from death.

Tell me about it. . .

Walk On The Water

Last night, I was reading my new release, Lambert's Code. I got my author copies in the mail yesterday and was really excited. How cool!

I always read the printed copy, so started it before Step, then read more before bed. Lambert's Code was a hard book to write, and I had anxiety attacks over it. So, I'm reading away, catching a few mistakes - mistakes to me - like why didn't I edit out that line? Or she asks that question three times in one page, why didn't I catch that?

I was so disappointed in myself. It's a good story, and moves pretty quick, but I kept thinking of how much better I could have done it. So, in the middle of the night, anxiety attack! Yep, I woke up SURE I couldn't finish The Country Princess or if I did, it would be blech! What was I thinking signing a contract with WestBow.

Talked to Tony and tried to go to sleep again, thinking of Jesus. But I didn't sleep well and kept thinking of what a horrible storyteller I am. When I finally got up around 9, I put on Kent Henry's Deep Worship CD and the first song is about walking on the water with Jesus.

Suddenly the words washed over me and I started to cry. Jesus was saying walk on the water with me, Rachel, but I started looking around at my circumstances, my limited ability and sank fast! Let me tell you! I felt Jesus extend His hand to me. I reached up and grab hold!

I know I'm going to have to work hard, and I can do that, but I can't do it when I'm anxious. Jesus is right, what will it gain me to worry or fret? Please pray for me if you think of it. Thanks!

My friend Chris Lynxwiler is about to have a trade book deal. Congrats, Chris! You deserve it!
Meanwhile, my optical mouse is on the fritz and that really irritates me, but it's a small annoyance.

Today, I'm working-writing, though the house needs vacuuming, and dusted if I looked close. But I won't.

Peace!

Mary of Bethany

. . . Or better known as Mary the Devotee. Get this - she's mentioned in Matthew 26, Mark 14, John 12, and possibly in Luke 7 if you think she's the "sinner woman."

Why? Because she poured out a costly perfume on Jesus, wept and wiped His feet with her hair. She shamelessly showed her devotion in front of all, even though they criticized her.

Jesus defended her before her accusers, "Leave her alone! Truly I say to you, wherever the gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her."

So, let's back up a chapter and peek into John 11. Jesus is on his way to raise Lazarus from the dead and John is setting us up for this great miracle. Mary has NOT yet anointed His feet with her perfume, but John writes:

"Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. It was the Mary who anointed the Lord with ointment, and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick."

I love it. John qualifies that Lazarus, the-dead-guy-raised-again, is Mary's brother! Not Mary, the-sister-of-the-guy raised from the dead. No, it's Lazarus, the brother of the girl who poured out perfume and wept over Jesus.

Mary's story was known to the church in Jerusalem. He knew that. John actually doesn't recount her story until the next chapter.

Amazing! You know what this means? Whole hearted devotion trumps being raised from the dead. Yep. That's what it means. Jesus didn't say Lazarus being raised from the dead would be preached around the whole world in memory of him. Nope. Mary's pure, heart felt devotion would be remembered.

Do we want to see people raised from the dead? Yep! Do we want to see blind eyes opened and the lame walking and demons cast out? Absolutely. But we cannot seek it without being whole heartedly devoted to the One who makes those things happen.

We want the do without the be. But I say Be! The do will come. Be, just be! Let's have a heart like Mary. The miracles will come.

Waste My Life On Something. . .

Last night at youth church, Dave and I got in a groove with the band and starting singing antiphonally. Only Dave can make a D to G chord progression sound "groovin'." Yeah you heard me, groovin'.

I started singing, "I'm gonna waste my life on something, I might as well waste it on you, Jesus." Dave echoed with "You are worthy." It was very cool and first time I've been able to do that at Youth Church for a while. Happens every week at Fire Dweller, but not so much at youth or big church.

I'm really thankful to the Lord for what He's doing in David's life and that he's baaaaack!!! He's a great chief musician.

Yesterday was weird. I only wrote about 1600K words, but I only wrote for about 3 hours. Went to youth church, then Taco Bell. I can't believe I'm eating Taco Bell once a week. But, it's where the kids want to go afterwards and well, whaddya gonna do? ;) When it stops raining in the evenings, it's back to Checkers!

Well, tis all for now. I woke up this morning and took a walk-jog, (hot day already) am blogging as I cool off, will take a shower, then go up to church for Fire Dweller leaders meeting and come home and get to work. I really want to get the bulk of this story done, then I can edit and fix and make it purdy! I'm motivated. But you know my best writing time, really? It's weird. . . like 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. Moral to the story: learn to settle my soul down earlier in the day.

Stop yakking soul! It would help if my email blew up and Diet Cokes weren't calling me from the 7-11. "Come buy us, come buy us."

Starting a new book

Starting a new book is always thrilling. Then, a third of the way through I have to remind myself that, yes the first draft is hard, yes it all sounds the same and cliche. It will get better. It will get better. It always does.

Plowing over blank white pages is like plowing through eighteen inches of fresh fallen snow, walking up hill, both ways, with the sharp wind in your face and your gloves at home on the hearth, warming by the fire.

I love fresh fallen snow.

Went to prayer, then took my car to the shop where I learned my AC compressor is going. Naturally. I mean, gee whiz, the car is four years old. Note to the world: Do NOT buy a Volkswagen! Ever. Cheap parts, weak warranty. Everything breaks right after the warranty runs out. Shoulda run tail when the told us the warranty was only for 2 years.

But I researched my Cabrio and other than advise about not buying leather seats (too hot for Florida ), the Cabrio owners gave the car great reviews. Well, now I know. They were paid to lie. Had to be. I can't imagine any car owner raving about a car that starts to fall apart before it's two years old. Now, at four years old, it's ready for the nursing home!

I want a Mini Cooper convertible next. Think they will be any better?

After a lovely time at the auto shop. . . really. The folks there are great, I stopped by Barnes-n-Noble and got "The Big Stone Gap" by Andriana Trigiani. Might as well see what the competition is doing. She's not writing hick lit, but writing about life in the small-town south. Mountain people.

Now, I'm blogging as if to prime the pump and get to writing. Youth church is tonight so I don't have long to mess around. 2000k words, here I come.

The Cover, The Cover

Krista (Steeple Hill Editor extraordinaire) snail mailed a copy of the cover for Georgia On Her Mind. Very cool, ya'll. I don't have a scanner, so I can't put it up for you to see, but it's very peachy keen!

Wow! It's so cool to see the cover. With my name on it! I feel this way about the Heartsongs, too. By the way, Lambert's Code comes out in a few days!

Times like these I miss Dad. Typically, I'd call him and talk to him about it. Or get reassurance that I can write two more books under contract. Of course, my dear Mom is a great encouragement, and my hubby, but for some reason, I want to hear Dad say, "Rach, you can do it."

I think it goes back to my Ohio State days when I called Dad completely stressed out. "I can't do this!!" He'd talk me down off the ledge, give me a few pointers and send me on my way with a verbal pat on the head. There's an echo from those days, deep down in my soul, still moving across the valleys of my life. "Dad, help, I can't."

But, you'll be happy to I have matured some in the last 20 years (I know, I know, I went to college when I was fifteen) and the doubt is just a wispy remainder of weaker times. Jesus has shored up my insecurities and immaturity and assured me I can do this and if I can't, He can step in and help. He'll do more than give me a verbal pat on the head. He'll give me ideas and creativity and rivers of flowing life.

Maybe it all just a longing in my heart to hear my Dad's voice again. I can't believe that almost five months later, tears come when I realize he left this life for a better one and didn't take me with him.

He came back for me that one time. I was eight and he'd gone off to pick up some kids for church, probably desperate for a moment to himself. I ran after him as he drove down the long gravel drive, "Wait for me."

But he didn't. Balled up on the gravel, I cried. Then, heard the putt-putt of the VW Micro bus coming back down the road. He came back for me.

This time, he didn't. He couldn't. My partnership with Jesus is not done in this life yet. So, He comforts me. He's my daddy's voice. "Rach, you can do it."

Went to a meeting for the Young Women's meeting last night. We went over final details, then the ministry teams got together and ministered to each other. Way cool. I got a couple of good exhortations from the Lord.

Well, off to work. Got a lot of writin' to do. Peace out.

John 7:37

The citizens of Jerusalem were celebrating the Feast of Booths (Tabernacle) and for some reason, had a tradition of pouring out water.

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "Any man who thirsts, let him come to me and drink!"

Any one of us can go to Jesus if we are thirsty. But there are so many things competing for our appetites; entertainment, food, sports, gossip, envy, the approval of others, status. But we must find our satisfaction in going to Jesus.

We must know Him. The scriptures tell of Him, yet they are not an end of itself like the Pharisees thought, but the map to understand and know Jesus. The written word leads us to the living word.

Pray the Word. Talk to Jesus about what He says. It will awaken your heart and change you.

But, it takes time. Deep calls unto deep. Becoming deeper in Him takes time. Give Him some part of your day. Let Him interrupt your schedule, not your schedule interrupt Him. (Note to self. . . )

Guess what will happen when we go for deep, to be wells of living water? Out of us flow rivers. Rivers.

For me as a writer, it makes me realize that as I spend time with Jesus, letting Him become a living well in me, rivers will flow out and onto my written pages. Creativity, truth, life, inspiration. That's what I want in my writing - for it to be a river of living water.

What about you? Room for a river or two in your life? ;)

Sleepy Saturday

Krista Stroever, Steeple Hill Editor, and me. What is with my eyes? I look like Cat Woman! Krista looks great!

I slept until noon-twenty, went to the store with Tony, ate lunch, watched a Bob Hope movie, "My Favorite Brunette." I paid attention to scene beginnings and endings since it was a detective, stream-of-consciousness type of movie. There were a few lines Tony said I should try to use.

After that, I picked up a book to read and immediately fell asleep for two more hours. Guess I'm catching up from last week in Nashville in which I slept very little.

Talked to Mom, caught up with her and life in Tallahassee. She's doing well, adjusting to life without her husband, but pressing on. I missed Dad these past few days. Like, hey, I'm ready to see you now. It's been almost five months since that weekend we were together in Tennessee for Asa's dedication.

I realize there's that part of me that only Dad shared. And, now I want to connect with him, but I can't. Tony says to just talk to him, but it's not the same. I just want to hear his voice.

My friend Kristin Billerbeck said, "You're a natural, Rachel," so for the moment, the Lord used her to be the voice of my Dad. That's something he would've said. (Wow, is this sounding like all-about-me or what?)

In fact, I found a letter he wrote me about 20 years ago and he was going on and on about how I should write. He declared my destiny over me. Honestly, he probably only read one or two things I'd ever written. He just knew. He was my Dad.

I read over some of the stuff I wrote yesterday and cracked myself up. The sister, Eliza, of the heroine, Faith, is going to study English Lit at Cambridge for the summer. Cambridge as in England. So, she tells the family during Sunday dinner. They are all excited and proud. One of the Grandma's pipes up, "We'll drive up to see you."

They family stops talking.

"Grandma, I'll be in England," Eliza says.

I don't know why, but that just cracks me up!

Anyway, really, it's funny, trust me. You'll laugh. The whole scene is funny, especially when Faith tries to tell her news. So, hang on to read it this time next year. IF, I don't edit it out.

Oh, when I was having lunch with the WestBow Press team, we were laughing and talking about movie out-takes and I said I thought it would be really funny to have edited out scenes from our books in the back, like they do on DVDs. Everyone thought that was a great idea. Of course, no one said, "Let's do it."

See how impressive I am? Ha!

Krista, my editor at Steeple Hill, emailed that she was sending me a copy of the cover for "Georgia On Her Mind" so I hope I see that soon. I'm excited about that.

I leave you with this thought: Squandered time is squandered destiny. Ask the Lord to help you redeem the time.

Conference 2005 - Part III

I keep thinking of conference things, but now that I want to write them down, I forget. Ok, here's one. Karen Ball was speaking and she asked, "Are you all called to write?"

We answered a muddy, "Yes."

So, she asks again, loud! "Are you called to write?"

"Yes!" We shout a little louder.

And then a third time. "Are you called to write?"

"Yes!"

When I shouted, "Yes!" I felt the anointing tingle down my body from the top of my head. Yes, I'm called to write!

Sometimes all we need to do is agree with God and stop agreeing with the devil or our flesh.

Every time I make a sale, I'm excited, but there's something deep down that resonates, "Yep, just doing what I'm supposed to be doing." I don't have that stunned, overwhelmed feeling like "I can't believe it!"

By the grace of God, I believe it.

My prayer is to always be humble, even if I make it to the New York Times Best Seller List. I always want to be more amazed at God's love, favor and goodness in my life than any goal I achieve on earth. You know, if it doesn't matter in heaven, why should it matter here?

Think of all the things we worry about, get worked up over in this life and they just don't matter in eternity. Like, I was mad NBC cancelled the show "American Dream." I loved that show, but the fact that I wasted one moment of mental energy on it is crazy. Not going to matter in eternity.

Or, in a moment of weakness, I make a negative comment about a person or situation. Soul, be still! It will NOT matter in eternity. At least not the situations I allow to upset me. Geez, I get sick of my weaknesses sometimes. I'd like to just unzip my flesh suit, step out of it and be all holy and warm and fuzzy, not bound by my sins.

I always come home from the conference sure someone doesn't like me anymore. A someone I care about, but you know, so what. Nothing I can do about it unless confronted with it. But, isn't it just like the enemy to divide and keep us worrying?

I give it all to You, Jesus.

Well, I need to get writing. Ciao.

Conference 2005 - Part II

I took Brandilyn Collin's "Kicking It Up A Knotch" workshop. She did a great job and I learned a new thing about backstory. "Don't do it!"

Bonded with Sydney Zech, our fab conference coordinator. She surprised me with a massage on Sunday evening. Allison Wilson was everything I promised Sydney she'd be! Thank you, Allison.

I met Heather Diane Tipton in person! Hey, Heather! You are awesome.

I laughed with Tracey, Chris and Susie until I couldn't breathe! "A-heem, a-heem."

Chris, thanks for the heart to heart. You are a great friend.

Karen Ball was poignent and funny. The devotionals were wonderful. It was great to see old friends, ACFWers from conferences past. Love you all!

Rebeca Seitz is fun to hang around with. And a true Gilmore Girl.

Sleep is impossible to catch at a conference.

The Bluebird Cafe is wholly Nashville, and grand.

Lisa Young is beautiful and makes me laugh. Thanks for Saturday night at the Bluebird. I'll never forget the back of James Dean Hicks head.

Thanks to Kaye Dacus for the tour of Nashville and Sunday night at the Bluebird. Thanks for buying, Susie.

Tracey Bateman has become a true leader. Great job, Tracey!

Susan Downs, we missed you. Anne Goldsmith, it wasn't the same without you! Next year in Dallas?

God is good! Even in my weakness. . .

Conference 2005

Diann Hunt, Kristin Billerbeck, Me, Colleen Coble
The 4th anual ACFW conference has come and gone. I'm exhausted. I flew to Nashville Sunday the 11th and hit the ground running and did not stop until yesterday afternoon when Sydney walked me down to the hotel's massage room in the hotel and said, "Enjoy!"

There is so much to blog, I cannot capture the week with words, but the hightlight was last Wednesday. Colleen Coble, Diann Hunt, Denise Hunter and I met the West Bow Press staff, went to lunch and toured the facilities of Thomas Nelson. We had a great time. What a great team. It was so weird to walk into a publishing house and have them go, "Oh, you must be Rachel Hauck. Welcome!!"

One person, Jennifer, who works in advertising, read my proposal and told me how she loved it. Then the publisher's assistant, Lisa, took me to song writers night at the Bluebird. Now, last Sunday Susan Warren, Kaye Dacus and I went to the Bluebird. We enjoyed those songwriters a lot, but Saturday night were published song writers who had multiple hits. Wow! It was fantastic. Amazing songs, amazing guitar work.

To be continued. . .

Deep Worship

After step-weight training class last night I went to Zion to worship with Kent Henry. I sang with him a few years ago, and should've last night, but I was in simplify mode. Ha! He is an incredible worship leader and of course the Fire Dweller Band was backing him up and. . . ahhhh!

I walked into the sanctuary and whoosh! I was washed by the presence of the Lord. So incredible. Not just that I felt the Lord's touch, but that there is a place in worship - deep worship - that removes all the shadows from my heart.

Besides worship, Kent is very into unleashing the creative spirit in each of us. He talked about fear being one of our number one enemies, but also judgments. Our inner voice of "you can't do it" or the outer voice of others "you can't do that."

We have to break that off! God says, "I can through you!"

I went through that when The Country Princess sold. What if I can't do it? What if the editors hate it once it's done? What if... what if... At that point, it's all about me and I completely deny the power of my Lord.

But I realized what I was doing and turned it around. I can do it! Jesus is able to enable me! He's done so much for me already, how can I deny Him now?

Afterwards, I talked to Kent and he's wanted my name and number to talk about writing and my journey - as a testimony to others who are on the creative path. We'll see what happens. I had a sense from the Lord about something last night, but I'll leave it to Him. I'm familiar with that subtle sense and know the Lord will make it happen in due time.

Note to self: pray in the Spirit more. Hour a day?

Hurricane Allie is submitted along with Lena, Pamela and Lynette's stories. "Get Me To The Church On Time" will probably be retitled "Windswept Weddings."

You know one of my favorite parts about writing books? The dedication. I love that. . . Having a book dedicated to you would be so cool, don't you think?

I'm always torn between wanting to have a blank page with just a simple dedication like, For Dad, yet knowing I can't leave out all the people who support me and encourage me on this writing journey. So, I include thanks to people directly related to the book.

Well, we are off to buy new phones. I have lots to do today!


Tomorrow I'm off to Nashville. I probably won't blog next week, but will try if I can!

Peace out! Viya con Dios.

Frustrations - a feeling

Frustrations can be good. They can spur us onto bigger and better things. Thus, I'm frustrated. Well, I feel frustrated. Therefore, I must be. Ha!

Do you know there is a personality type that actually makes decisions by feelings? They read their feelings as fact and then decide. I learned about this when taking the Myers-Briggs personality test several years ago while working at Harris Publishing.

"I feel, therefore I am." (wink)

I, however, am not one of the personality types that makes decision based on feeling. I want the facts. I analyze, I ponder. I want proof and evidence. However, I am discerning. I often read a situation or person and know what to do or how to respond.

Except when it comes to mio - myself. Decisions for self are difficult. If self discipline was easy, we'd all look like Mrs. Universe and be millionaires. We wouldn't overeat, oversleep, sluff off on the job, make excuses not to exercise, or clean the kitchen or write a book. ;)

Tony edited Hurricane Allie for me last night and I was so frustrated every time he asked me a question. Not his fault. Mine. I wanted to watch "Gilmore Girls." How rude is that? I just wanted to not work. Be lazy. Part of the drama of an authors life. It seems to never end. We can write all day long. Feel guilty if we don't.

I really was feeling guilty for not working more on my chick lit. I know the conference is coming up and I'll be gone for a week and that's going to knock me off kilter. Then I have two conference the beginning of October! BUT, I can do this, right? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Decision time. Turn off the cable? I really only care about like three shows, but I end up watching more than that just because. . . I get stuck. I wanted to keep up with Ohio State Football, Gilmore Girls and King of Queens. I like Joey, too. But I ask this question, "What does it benefit me?" What a waste.

Discipline. Self discipline. You know my biggest frustration? Here it is. Fractured days. My days come at me in pieces. Morning prayer, 7-9, followed by maybe errands, email and chores. Then by noon, I try to be writing. Then three nights a week I go to the gym at 5:00 for class. Three nights a week I have something to do; Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday.

So, this frustrates me. I like my evening aerobics instructors, but maybe I should switch to the morning. Maybe I'll shoot my email.

Simplify is my moto for 2006. Oh, here were my goals a few years ago. Still trying to get it down: 1. Prayer and the Word. Hanging out with Jesus. 2. Write 3. All else subject to 1 and 2.

Random thought. I love my family. I love my Mom and Grandma. My brothers and sister. Lately, Beka has been really special to my heart. I love my husband. He's pretty awesome. Sorry ladies, he's taken.

Well, off to the doctor to check the healing of hole he made in my cheek last week and to get my hair done. Ah, the frustration begins.

I hide myself in you, Jesus. I hide myself in You...